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Full-Kit Wankers


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#1 Ian_Wrexham

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 12:45 PM

Whilst innocently minding my own business shopping today, I happened upon someone, an adult male no less, wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt (the naff purple one with shit "tribal" markings) and matching shorts. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping in North London.

Is this just a Liverpool supporter thing, like excessive self-pity or racism? Has anyone ever seen any other flavour of full-kit wanker? Has anyone seen a non-league/lower-league full-kit wanker? Surely it's not even borderline acceptable to even own a full kit of any team if you're older than ten? And what kind of absolute throbbing bell-end wears the third choice Liverpool kit while shopping in Harringay?

I found this blog which attempts to tackle this depressing phenomenon.

http://richardp1975....ll-kit-wankers/

Edited by Ian_Wrexham, 02 September 2012 - 12:50 PM.


#2 Conker

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 12:51 PM

Wankers.

#3 Jemfy

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 12:58 PM

Haha, this is amazing.

For the record I think that the Liverpool 3rd kit is the best of their 3 for this season...

I hope the vast majority of fully grown adults who posses and wear the full football kit either do so as a 5-a-side kit only (even then it's not great...) or lost a bet.

A friend of mine at uni (on the same 5-a-side team) had the full man city kit (not socks), and would refuse to wear the shirt and the shorts at the same time. Because he understood that it's just plain wrong.

#4 Destruction

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 01:03 PM

From my experience, Liverpool fans are the worst for this.

Cretins.

#5 Poshcockney

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 01:09 PM

The full kit with the brown work shoes in that link has to be a bet surely!

#6 BlueSmudge

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 02:00 PM

The full kit with the brown work shoes in that link has to be a bet surely!


Ive seen this quite a few times actually!

Its a well known fact that Liverpool possess the highest percentage of fans who are bald, taxi drivers who feel the need to display all over their cab that they are filthy Reds, and always wear shorts to display that Liver Bird tattoo on their calf.

The taxi driver one I think amuses me most. We all know cabbies are always on about footy, but do they wear a footy shirt while they're driving? Or have a sticker in the back displaying who they support? No, because for a start, its a bit unprofessional, as well as the obvious possibility too that if you support a rival, why would you get in the taxi that has a big sticker of your rivals in it, when theres probably another one behind it without? Well, go to Skem or Liverpool and every other taxi driver is there pledging his allegiance to the mighty Reds. Shirt, bald head, tattoos, car stickers, the works. Ive been to a lot of towns and cities in this country, seen a lot of taxis and taxi drivers, but never seen one so brazenly displaying his allegiances.

#7 SamScfc

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 02:26 PM

I saw a City fan in the full kit at County yesterday, he was a kid, but still...

#8 Poshcockney

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 02:30 PM

I don't think I have ever seen a Millwall fan (adult that is) in a full kit. I am not sure they even sell adult team shorts...I shall investigate.

#9 Bunty Ferguson-Smythe

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 04:11 PM

I bet none of them are actually from Liverpool.

Always fun to tell a plastic Scouser down here in Wales that Gerrard is the most overated player for the past 20 years and his stats prove he can't keep possesion. Like I got proof he's shit.

#10 AnimoEtFide

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 05:09 PM

I saw a City fan in the full kit at County yesterday, he was a kid, but still...


Hope you lamped him :shifty:

#11 Edgeley_Park

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 06:32 PM

Scousers never grow up. Fact.

#12 Quakerz

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 07:17 PM

Whilst innocently minding my own business shopping today, I happened upon someone, an adult male no less, wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt (the naff purple one with shit "tribal" markings) and matching shorts. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping in North London.

Is this just a Liverpool supporter thing, like excessive self-pity or racism? Has anyone ever seen any other flavour of full-kit wanker? Has anyone seen a non-league/lower-league full-kit wanker? Surely it's not even borderline acceptable to even own a full kit of any team if you're older than ten? And what kind of absolute throbbing bell-end wears the third choice Liverpool kit while shopping in Harringay?

I found this blog which attempts to tackle this depressing phenomenon.

http://richardp1975....ll-kit-wankers/


Yeah, it's weird isn't it, buying and wearing a shirt serves merely as nothing more than identification of your club and a show of support and is acceptable for adults.

Buying a full kit is basically fantasising that you are stepping out for your club whenever you wear it, and is perfectly acceptable for a kid not an adult. Adults should only wear the full kit of whichever team they actualy play football for, in an actual real live match situation. (whether it's a Sunday morning club or a good level)

I also find the phenomenon of adults getting their favourite players name and number (or their own name) printed on their replica top as unacceptable as an adult buying a full kit - it's a bit fantasy isn't it?

#13 JaredSUFC

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 07:21 PM

It must be a premier league thing, I don't think I've seen a non-league fkw, and I've seen loads of strange types watching non-league football over the years.

#14 PlayUpBrompton

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 07:37 PM

I saw a full kit wanker (including socks and trainers) in the crowd at one of our home games once, it was like he thought he was going to get on at some point. I stared at him baffled for quite some time.

#15 Poshcockney

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:09 PM

I saw a full kit wanker (including socks and trainers) in the crowd at one of our home games once, it was like he thought he was going to get on at some point. I stared at him baffled for quite some time.


Must have been all the more embarrassing that it was your brother!! :tomf:

#16 Ian_Wrexham

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:21 PM

Yeah, it's weird isn't it, buying and wearing a shirt serves merely as nothing more than identification of your club and a show of support and is acceptable for adults.

Buying a full kit is basically fantasising that you are stepping out for your club whenever you wear it, and is perfectly acceptable for a kid not an adult. Adults should only wear the full kit of whichever team they actualy play football for, in an actual real live match situation. (whether it's a Sunday morning club or a good level)

I also find the phenomenon of adults getting their favourite players name and number (or their own name) printed on their replica top as unacceptable as an adult buying a full kit - it's a bit fantasy isn't it?


Replica shirts/colours are fine if you're going to a match. Or if you're playing football in the park. Wandering around in a replica shirt on non-matchdays or where you're just off to the pub is a bit weird, no?

But I agree with you on full kits. John Terry was the ultimate full-kit wanker at the Champions League final.

I agree with numbers/names/league badges too though I'm less fundamentalist about that. I can see why someone might get them to "complete" their shirt. But they are a bit fantasy. Again, fine for kids though.

#17 The Minsterman

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:29 PM

I will be getting a York shirt with league badges on and don't give two fucks if people think it's sad, 8 years of shit grants me the privilege to show off the fact we aint non-league wasters any more.

#18 PlayUpBrompton

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:29 PM


I saw a full kit wanker (including socks and trainers) in the crowd at one of our home games once, it was like he thought he was going to get on at some point. I stared at him baffled for quite some time.


Must have been all the more embarrassing that it was your brother!! :tomf:


I think you're confusing Gillingham with Mansfield.

I'm not directly related to every single one of our supporters. :msn_wink_smile:

#19 TheSaddlers

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 09:22 PM

I will be getting a York shirt with league badges on and don't give two fucks if people think it's sad, 8 years of shit grants me the privilege to show off the fact we aint non-league wasters any more.

Just so long as you don't even think about buying the shorts to go with it, you're good. :P ;)

Edited by TheSaddlers, 02 September 2012 - 09:22 PM.


#20 Ian_Wrexham

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:06 PM

I will be getting a York shirt with league badges on and don't give two fucks if people think it's sad, 8 years of shit grants me the privilege to show off the fact we aint non-league wasters any more.


League-badge wanker.

Also, it's a bit try hard. York City are obviously members of the Glorious 92. They're not non-league upstarts like Stevenage, Crawley or Wigan Athletic. They're a proper club with proper fans. They don't need badges to validate their continued existence.

Edited by Ian_Wrexham, 02 September 2012 - 10:11 PM.


#21 The Minsterman

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:23 PM


I will be getting a York shirt with league badges on and don't give two fucks if people think it's sad, 8 years of shit grants me the privilege to show off the fact we aint non-league wasters any more.

Just so long as you don't even think about buying the shorts to go with it, you're good. :P ;)


I can't even run a metre without collapsing into a ball of death so I think shorts of any kind for sports is out of the questions for a while :lol:.

#22 The Minsterman

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:24 PM


I will be getting a York shirt with league badges on and don't give two fucks if people think it's sad, 8 years of shit grants me the privilege to show off the fact we aint non-league wasters any more.


League-badge wanker.

Also, it's a bit try hard. York City are obviously members of the Glorious 92. They're not non-league upstarts like Stevenage, Crawley or Wigan Athletic. They're a proper club with proper fans. They don't need badges to validate their continued existence.


We're validating nothing, it is our medal for surviving the abyss. Feck a Victoria Cross, if you get out of the BSP alive you deserve the badge.

#23 Quakerz

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:33 PM

Replica shirts/colours are fine if you're going to a match. Or if you're playing football in the park. Wandering around in a replica shirt on non-matchdays or where you're just off to the pub is a bit weird, no?


Hmm, can't say I've ever thought about that and I have to admit I've gone out and about wearing my Darlo top in the past. I assumed the funny looks were more people trying to work out which team it was, rather than thinking "you wanker". :spear:

#24 Silkyman

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:40 PM

I always find it amusing to remind 30-something Liverpool fans in Macc that they are basically just glory hunters who started supporting Liverpool in the 80s. So no different to the 90s kids supporting United or the mini glut of Arsenal and Chelsea fans who appeared. (Marty McFly can tell us about the 2014 City fan invasion)

#25 The Minsterman

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 11:04 PM


Replica shirts/colours are fine if you're going to a match. Or if you're playing football in the park. Wandering around in a replica shirt on non-matchdays or where you're just off to the pub is a bit weird, no?


Hmm, can't say I've ever thought about that and I have to admit I've gone out and about wearing my Darlo top in the past. I assumed the funny looks were more people trying to work out which team it was, rather than thinking "you wanker". :spear:


Probably felt more pity than disdain for anybody who supports a team beneath the Championship, frankly when we got done by Northwich Vic I felt a much bigger wanker being sat that having paid to watch that shite than owt mentioned in here.

#26 Ian_Wrexham

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Posted 02 September 2012 - 11:12 PM


Replica shirts/colours are fine if you're going to a match. Or if you're playing football in the park. Wandering around in a replica shirt on non-matchdays or where you're just off to the pub is a bit weird, no?


Hmm, can't say I've ever thought about that and I have to admit I've gone out and about wearing my Darlo top in the past. I assumed the funny looks were more people trying to work out which team it was, rather than thinking "you wanker". :spear:


I should backtrack quickly from that point. I don't think people in replica shirts are wankers (except people wearing United/Liverpool/Chelsea/Arsenal/City shirts). I'd just feel weird in anything other than those two scenarios.

#27 Frealaf

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 06:15 AM

I often were my replica shirt when out and about. Mainly because i have about 8 or 9 of them from the last 5 or 6 years that all still fit and still in decent condition.

My missus hates me for it but its more comfortable wearing that and trackie bottoms than being smartly dressed :P

Never worn a full kit though don't think I've ever owned a pair of GTFC shorts or socks.

#28 james_mtfc

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 08:38 AM

Our club shop barely sells the shirts, never mind the full kit so you won't find any Mansfield fans doing it.

#29 CAMRAlty

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 08:41 AM

Whilst innocently minding my own business shopping today, I happened upon someone, an adult male no less, wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt (the naff purple one with shit "tribal" markings) and matching shorts. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping in North London.

Is this just a Liverpool supporter thing, like excessive self-pity or racism? Has anyone ever seen any other flavour of full-kit wanker? Has anyone seen a non-league/lower-league full-kit wanker? Surely it's not even borderline acceptable to even own a full kit of any team if you're older than ten? And what kind of absolute throbbing bell-end wears the third choice Liverpool kit while shopping in Harringay?

I found this blog which attempts to tackle this depressing phenomenon.

http://richardp1975....ll-kit-wankers/


Possibly the best post ever.

So, here's a thing. Banbury. I've lived here for a year now. Randomly, it's absolutely full of Liverpool fans. I remember Jared saying as much (he used to live here too) shortly after I moved here. They all wear their scabby three season old replica shirts around town while shopping. Wankers.

And I can confirm that I have seen one FKW here. That shite Liverpool black kit. He was about 35 as well, the twat.

I shall proudly sport my Alty shirt on Saturday in Oxford. It will not be seen again until I next go to a match. You know, like it's supposed to be...

#30 JaredSUFC

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:10 AM


Whilst innocently minding my own business shopping today, I happened upon someone, an adult male no less, wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt (the naff purple one with shit "tribal" markings) and matching shorts. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping. An adult male wearing the Liverpool third choice shirt with matching shorts while shopping in North London.

Is this just a Liverpool supporter thing, like excessive self-pity or racism? Has anyone ever seen any other flavour of full-kit wanker? Has anyone seen a non-league/lower-league full-kit wanker? Surely it's not even borderline acceptable to even own a full kit of any team if you're older than ten? And what kind of absolute throbbing bell-end wears the third choice Liverpool kit while shopping in Harringay?

I found this blog which attempts to tackle this depressing phenomenon.

http://richardp1975....ll-kit-wankers/


Possibly the best post ever.

So, here's a thing. Banbury. I've lived here for a year now. Randomly, it's absolutely full of Liverpool fans. I remember Jared saying as much (he used to live here too) shortly after I moved here. They all wear their scabby three season old replica shirts around town while shopping. Wankers.

And I can confirm that I have seen one FKW here. That shite Liverpool black kit. He was about 35 as well, the twat.

I shall proudly sport my Alty shirt on Saturday in Oxford. It will not be seen again until I next go to a match. You know, like it's supposed to be...


But that's partly because Banbury is the strangest town in England. Nice, but strange. Very, very strange. Almost gutted that I didn't see a FKW when I was in Banbury, although the sight of someone in a full Liverpool kit is almost enough to induce sickness.

I think the only time I've ever worn a full Sutton kit is when I've been a mascot. Either the kiddy one, or in later life when I've been dressed as Jennie the Giraffe. I do wear my Sutton shirt when I'm not at a game, especially whilst living in exile. It's funny to see the look in peoples faces

#31 CAMRAlty

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:18 AM

But that's partly because Banbury is the strangest town in England. Nice, but strange. Very, very strange. Almost gutted that I didn't see a FKW when I was in Banbury, although the sight of someone in a full Liverpool kit is almost enough to induce sickness.


Couldn't agree more. The term 'provincial' was made for Banbury. The number of weird people knocking about is frightening.

#32 JaredSUFC

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:23 AM


But that's partly because Banbury is the strangest town in England. Nice, but strange. Very, very strange. Almost gutted that I didn't see a FKW when I was in Banbury, although the sight of someone in a full Liverpool kit is almost enough to induce sickness.


Couldn't agree more. The term 'provincial' was made for Banbury. The number of weird people knocking about is frightening.


The number of people with facial tattos and the town crier competition scared me.

#33 Weaver2Down

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:26 AM

I don't have a problem with people who wear their shirt on a non-match days or those who have names and numbers on the back. FKW's on the other hand...

I find it quite entertaining the number of so called Premier League fans who think I'm wearing a Chelsea top having swopped sponsors to Voi Jeans!

#34 Stringy

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:39 AM

I only really wear my shirt in public if we've won or I'm going to play sport.

#35 Master Debator

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:01 AM

I only wear my shirt to matches or when I play 5 a side. I've never had a full kit, even when I was a kid.

I usually have to wash the shirt a few times after each match due to the common problem of people behind me spitting as they launch a tirade at the ref. A lot of the best swear words have a high embarrassing spit probability when you are raging and frothing at the mouth at someone timewasting by not taking the kick from the right spot. Everyone knows you've just spit out of your mouth onto the back of someone's fleece but nobody ever says anything.

#36 Stringy

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:18 AM

Is it okay to accessorise yourself with other club merchandise?

I have a wallet with an MTFC crest on it, which is okay because it's made from black leather and is quite stylish. The ones that are completely the colour of the club are a bit childish and should be avoided (that means get rid of your Liverpool wallet, Steady).

Also I have a bottle opener on my keyring which also has the club crest on it.

#37 CAMRAlty

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:31 AM

Bottle openers and keyrings are fair enough, I think. One of our club's more successful inventions in recent years was Altrincham FC lanyards. Personally I found that pretty bizarre, but hey, there's no harm in it.

Wallet? Hmmmm. Bit childish. It remains a source of much amusement among Alty fans that Mansfield once offered an MTFC stationery set as a raffle prize during a half-time draw :lol:

#38 Master Debator

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:42 AM

No accessories are cool, what next, a yellow velcro watch with a picture of a stag on it or a Mansfield Town phone cover over your Nokia 3310. Come on.

#39 Iesty WFC

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:43 AM

U11's if fine in full kit

past that and unless you are partaking in the game its silly. only exemption is fancy dress

#40 Stringy

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:49 AM

No accessories are cool, what next, a yellow velcro watch with a picture of a stag on it or a Mansfield Town phone cover over your Nokia 3310. Come on.


:lol:

I had one of those.