Doing a Poo - Which one are you?

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Must admit, I've been batting quite a high average these past few years. I'm guessing diet and age catching up with me.
 

spireite

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Around type 3 or 4 typically I would say. How annoying is it though when you that poop. You know, the one where you wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and still.. poop
 

Pagnell

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Type 7. Fizzy gravy.
 

yellow

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how satisfying is the perfect poo!?
 

slaphead

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Ahh, my favourite thread, open to the masses.

Usually a gentle 3 or 4. However, just returned from Egypt and currently experiencing the aftermath of Rameses Revenge due to a combination of shitty beer, dodgy curries and hot weather. Definitely been a type 7 for about a week, but I'm not sure about a shower, a fire hose was more appropriate. Still, things are slowly returning to normal and I long for the day I can have a nice long slow number 3 with minimal effort.
 

mistermagic

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3. Need much more than 4-5 wipes though.
 

T.A

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Having Crohn's it's a complete surprise every time.
 
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Just did a number 3, 6 wipes. (7th was clean)

Very satisfying poo.
 

Pliny Harris

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Type three, out of the hatch faster than a Chelsea manager. 'Mirite lads?
 

Ebeneezer Goode

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Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?
 
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SALTIRE

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I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid! :D
 

Blitzballer

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Anything between 1 and 4.
Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid
 

Red

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Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?

:lol: savage.

I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid! :D

You should check. I saw the face of Jesus in one of my plops once. I reported it to the churxh of England, but I never got a reply.

I'm a 3-4 man on the scale. I've found shitting to be an irksome undertaking now I'm in my mid 40s. When I was younger I could knock a shit out in 30 seconds flat and not have to return a few seconds later when I'd concluded that the act was not completed.

Now, I'm on the bog for around 8-10 minutes.
 

SALTIRE

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Ate too much yesterday, must've had four bad boys, and then first thing this morning as well! Been averaging one/day latterly. May start a record of it.
 
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slaphead

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Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid

Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.
 

Blitzballer

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Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.
LOL already ahead of you, although I don't have the ones with Aleo Vera.
A wet wipe is seriously satisfying after a painful dump. When it touches your ring piece I can almost imagine it sizzling
 

Ebeneezer Goode

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Put a toilet roll in the fridge the night before.
 

Stevencc

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Then you run the risk of getting so pissed that you end up eating it.
 

SALTIRE

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Had a sore one earlier tonight, wouldn't come out and then it had a sharp edge when it did! :eek:

Will probably be due another one soon, just had a mushroom strudel at this time of night - I know I'm going to regret it later on! :D
 

Stevencc

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I dropped a 6 earlier. Too many beers lately.
 

PaulHaddock

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Worst ones are the clingons that don't come off no matter how much shuffling.
 

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