An archive of the Mail Online's football reporting....the very best of the best

HertsWolf

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I reported frequently on TFF about the sensational scoops that the Mail’s fearless investigative journalists presented to the world. Rarely in the field of sports journalism has such a talented team of journalists been assembled.

I cannot let the demise of TFF destroy the archive of Pulitzer Prize-winning articles.

In August 2014, the legendary Adam Shergold, reported how Diego Costa was seen withdrawing money from a cashpoint machine **after** scoring his second goal for Chelsea in a win over Leicester.
We mused for days over whether the story would have been different if Diego Costa hadn’t scored, or if he had gone to the cashpoint before the match. One significant scenario was where we considered how the Mail Online would have reported Diego Costa’s cash withdrawal if he had failed to score against Leicester but had enough money to do his shopping anyway.

Mr Shergold - and we would like to emphasise the ‘gold’ in his name, because he’s not called Shershit, for example – followed this up with a startling story about how Angel di Maria was seen at a restaurant, crossing a footbridge and wore a hoodie, ALL ON THE ONE DAY! The Mail Online chose, wisely, not to run the story under the “Man has lunch” headline.

And to prove that epic articles come in threes, Sherdiamond, reinvented that old journalistic “ex-footballer does nothing in particular” trick by penning the now infamous “Carles Puyol films himself bench-pressing his girlfriend after his retirement from Barcelona” story. Genuinely, eh, who doesn’t remember where they were when that news broke? Of course, we now realise that the story might originally have been “Carles Puyol films himself bench-pressing his girlfriend before retiring from Barcelona” and that advertisers had demanded a version where Katie Hopkins bench pressed Carles Puyol.
#legend #adamshergold

Sadly, despite including a small financial donation from Harry Redknapp’s dog slipped in between the sheets of the letter, our nomination of Adam Shertitanium for the Sports Journalist of the Year Award was unsuccessful.
In our submission, we asked “While others reported on the frankly uninteresting....team performances, drug-taking, school sports, the plight of lower league football clubs and the fairly tacky stories about the World Cup.... our Adam wades deep into the stories that no-one else will touch! Who else would have thought of reporting on a footballer using a cash machine and the implied statements that makes about the contents of his wallet (Does he get cash back at ASDA? Did he get a receipt? What's his PIN number?)? Who else could create an award-winning story out of a man walking to his hotel after lunch? Who else, other than Adam J Shergold, could master the contextual complexities of a photograph of a retired footballer lifting his girlfriend up in the air?”

The Mail Online is now making a concerted effort to have one of its journalists pick up the 2015 award with stories including “What to do in a hotel” by Elliot Brettland, who helpfully explained to ordinary people what you can find in a three-star hotel: gym, sauna, concierge, mini-bar. Brettland gushingly revealed that the hotel where Man Utd players stay even has – yes, I know! – a restaurant and a bar!

Perhaps the piece de resistance, and one which surely puts Brettland in the zone for a Nobel Prize of some sort, is his recognition that these Man Utd players "could always learn more about the city's history and head over to St Peter's Square, scene of the Peterloo Massacre in 1819." Yes indeed. Because the Peterloo Massacre was - among other things - about trying to end the appalling working conditions, poverty, starvation and abject misery in the cotton mills locally, and that's a topic close to the hearts of all footballers paid upwards of £100,000 a week.

Meanwhile, Mail Online journalist legend Joe Strange filed the memorable “Thierry Henry watches tennis match” story. Perhaps one of the most remarkable revelations was that Henry "endorses Gillette products" and, in an amazing, amazing coincidence, so does Roger Federer, who they were watching!!!! I know!!!
There are already rumours that a Stephen Merchant film is being planned, based upon this touching true-life story that Thierry Henry and Roger Federer both endorse the same shaving products. Ricky Gervais is odds-on favourite to play the part of Roger Federer.

More recently, Harry Mackay looks like he could be having a go for the top award with a cracking “Three blokes hang out together” story. The breadth and depth of this story came very close to bringing down the Austrian government, and his ability to base his entire article on a single tweet by someone else serves only to emphasise the genius of the Mail Online.

The final story in this catalogue of artful journalism was the truly astonishing “Footballers buy expensive cars” shock story, in which the logo of the sponsors of the cars being given to Real Madrid players was shown more frequently (523 times) than there were words in the article (231). Furthermore, recognising its responsibility for educating its readers who may not understand the word ‘car’, the Mail Online illustrated the story with no less than eight photographs of the sponsor's cars. One of the photographs shows a bicycle, but curiously, not a single player chose a bike over a car. Mr Mackay is also in the running for an OBE "for services to German automotive advertising".

Yes, the Mail Online team are sporting journalistic legends, steering clear of the boring stuff and concentrating on the important: the lives of about thirty players at seven football clubs. And none of these clubs are wanky Championship or League One non-entities. No, these are the stories that are creating legends of the legends who can use a phone and walk at the same time, about young men who are redefining the world of sport while still possessing the ability to take photographs while doing it.
 

Cardsfan

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In all fairness that was fucking disgusting from Halifax. Not like welling are any better, but theres a difference between football related offences and thuggery
 

Stevencc

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They had an article on John Terry's opinion of his teammate Filipe Luis's taste in football boots the other day. The problem was all the pictures in said article were of David Luiz.
 

Pliny Harris

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#5
In all fairness that was fucking disgusting from Halifax. Not like welling are any better, but theres a difference between football related offences and thuggery
Agreed, fantastic that he extrapolated one clueless game though, due to it being the week his beloved Peterborough signed Beautyman off of Welling. Like most other teams, we only engage in brainless tackling a few times a season if that, and like most fans we don't condone it!
 

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