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Let him have his fantasies mate ,us 'dyed in the wool' hetro's will just carry on with our Tupperware parties and Anne Summers nights.

Sure ,I can only speak from a dogs perspective,but I find this so demeaning ,I don't even like football. I like humping our frigid neighbours leg chewing packages and pissing on really important mail.

No match threads again ! So just adding my own thoughts on the game. Well firstly my old ticker stalled a few times today,defence was all over the shop and Matip was a disgrace ,slow to react ,poor in the tackle and wandered out of position way too many times than is comfortable in a race for...

Pregnant Irish woman phones home "Mam I tink ma waters have broke "mam say Holy Jaysus where are you ringing from " Girls says "from my minge to my ankles "

Trumps aide rushes straight from his house to the Whitehouse to deliver some truly awful news ,he says "my apologies for my attire Mr President but Ive dashed straight here , the heart of Mexico has been hit by a stray rocket" Trump says "Pyjamas really "

Donald Trump's secretary of defence is delivering his briefing to the President and tells him there has been three Brazilian casualties in a bomb attack ,Trump collapses in a state of shock ,his staff are stunned by this display of emotion ,finally he looks up and asks how many is a Brazillion ?

Fan laughing ...." Jurgen have you been driving with your sun roof open again fella" Klopp ...."Ha Ha Ha ,you fucking Scousers ,always with the jokes"

True Detective season 3 oversees a welcome return to the quality of performances we witnessed in the first season with McConaughey and Harrelson. Mahershala Ali fresh from his acclaim for his tour de force performance in the quite excellent Green Book is brilliant as the ex LRRP turned...

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Whilst I'm happy the forums back after its restoration ,I still find it frustrating when there is little or no warning that these issues will result in the place going offline. I just find it perplexing that a forum that has recently had more walkabouts than Kwai Chang Caine fails to provide...

He's dropped the lumbering Belgian and injected the kind of pace most sides struggle against with his regular inclusion of Rashford ,Lindgard and Martial with Pogba afforded the option to push up in the hole behind the three in a similar role Coutinho thrived in with ourselves. Discernible...

Had a lot of time on my hands last week ,so watched Allen's lunacy in Bananas and then bedded in with the mans take on dating in the more subtle less frantic Play It Again Sam , two films that proffered very different platforms for Allen to flaunt his comedy genius.

"Does he really have to do that every time we win a corner ? My nerves are fucking shot"

Just to add ,I think we have all had our fill of watching Moreno flying through the air to make an interception that would be infinitely simpler if the clueless blurt stayed on his feet. I think its just a cruel twist of fate that we bought a mouse who thinks he's a defender ,because if he just...

He was already used to treading the boards and had received wide spread acclaim for his off Broadway shows before dipping his toe into film. I'm surmising his awkwardness evolved after he was sexually molested whilst in military school and ran a gauntlet of racist abuse for being the solitary...

I'm not allowing myself to be too upset, why should I be when its evident the club cant be arsed even negotiating the competition. Tonight was a painful reminder of just how ordinary we were in the past,it was like a torturous rewind through our years of sufferance with clearly sub standard...

Neil Warnock's recent claim that Liverpool and in particular Nathaniel Clyne are a disgrace,can only be Alzheimer's hitting its cruelest peak.

Voyeur !

Young Frankenstein can rightly be considered as one of Wilder's best films but it pales in comparison to The Producers ,which stretched Wilder's comedic artistry to new levels, his performance alongside the incomparable Mostel was brushed with genius.

Do you know how hard my life has been trying to keep my mouth closed with the weight of this fucking chin ? It never sleeps, always chundering and it took me 12 years to cover the bastard with a beard after my parents finally got brave enough to remove the snood.