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I'd rather start a Phoenix club in Division 7 of Power League on a Sunday than have that disaster anywhere near my club.

Pennant off to China Div2 for the summer for 10 weeks. Getting paid £1m for it. You heard it here first.

I am back

Vale!

Sheffield United ta

Millwall

I see dario gradi at least once a week and he is always with a 14 year old footballer from crewe (shall I name the footballer?) He goes golfing with him, pays for his golf clubs, lessons etc. The other week he let the kid have a go of his Aston Martin on he car park. The way they are together is...

Fleetwood. Is that OK?

Bolton. Sorry!

Just about to leave for this one, no idea what to expect, can't call it.

Mk dons

Viera Keane and Scholes. Imagine the goals against column!

Scunthorpe

Have you been on the spirits?

I live on a quiet street with not much off road parking. A few neighbours seem to be trying to out do each other with who can buy the biggest car and block the road with it. I've got a parking space round the back of my place. Quick call to the council, double yellows painted and a bunch of...

No but me nan said she saw one float past a bus stop when she was younger. Funny how no one ever sees a ghost in a tracksuit, they're always victorian.

Job done mate

That sounds like the kind of thing nasa would do. Forget the stars. What cowboys! Any thoughts on why all other planets are round? You know the ones I can see with my telescope ?

Looks pretty spherical to me bud.

Is it just English scroungers you want?