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Message to the Chelsea fans that visited our yard last night ,'for the love of all that is holy' get some one to pen you some more fucking songs ! I understand how that may sound like I'm being churlish in the aftermath of defeat but it will be extremely beneficial for the supporters of every...

Jesus wept, as if there wasn't enough bullets for the brigade !

Just watched the Rangers highlights from the weekend,cant say I'm surprised by the standard of performance ,Gerrard will insist on his players putting in displays of that ilk until they reach their zenith. I think Gerrard being a born and bred Scouser is perhaps the only thing deterring me...

It would save Warnock and the players from a world of pain if they just went somewhere and hid until the seasons over.

The Hammerz throwing up the barricades 'so effectively' is never a good sign for those still to visit,thought Masuaku and Diop were brilliant earlier ,equally so Obiang , Noble and that kid Rice in the middle,although Yarmolenko needs to be urgently checked out for Plagiocephaly ,it would be...

I just love the 'shit that was all me' look on Delph's face

Rio has had trouble dropping this inane grin since he swapped the sex doll Tyson Fury keeps in his bed with a chloroformed Robbie Savage.

Brief signs of our link up play becoming more prominent in our tilt at silverware ,there was one moment at Anfield today when something bordering on the cusp of genius evolved at the adroit feet of Firmino ,Shaquiri and Salah ,only for a Saints defender to intervene on what would have been a...

I think albeit from Robertson's flick on being attributable in setting up Meunier for the volley we more or less controlled the pace of the game with Wijnaldum at his imperious best and Henderson once again kicking the fuck out of the description boundless. Other than that ,Salah just needs to...

Firstly ,lets laud the embodiment of spirit instilled by the manager,then swiftly skate on to the reincarnation of 'one James Milner' into something resembling the glorious ravenous animal he was at Leeds,he covered more grass than Qualcast yesterday and pressed and harried the opposition like a...

Passenger plane out of control and hurtling towards the ground Stewardess strips off and shouts "Can any man on this plane make me feel like a real woman for the last time in my life" Scouser jumps up - rips his shirt off- throws it at the stewardess and shouts "Get that fucking ironed !"

Is it just me whose faster in slippers ?

At the start of the season a lot of teams would have viewed this as a banker for three points but it seems Watford have had other ideas and currently have more thrust than the Rocket man and seem determined not to be passengers obviously there will be some sad songs but the players are single...

It's been an unforgiving run of fixtures for Newcastle ,they've already played three teams significantly stronger than themselves in Spudz ,Chelsea and City and now its Arsenals turn to tip up at their yard and waltz away with three points. 1-3

Both my socked plates on the coffee table ,armed with a couple of cheeky Moretti's at my side,disapproving looks from the wife and close enough to the drinks cabinet to see those looks dissipate when my disinterest grows .....Weekend starts here !

:bg1: The fella's just spent a fortnight drafting that post ,he's probably too spent to mention the legend that is Lucas Pezzzini Leiva ,but the guy knows his onions so I'm expecting an epiphany of sorts to take hold after a brief period of convalescence.

My mate said switching off his mother in laws life support machine was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. He's obviously never tried sneezing holding a full pint.

A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, I've got a problem with my sex-life." doctor says what's exactly the problem ?" man replies "well doctor, it's like this. I make love to my wife every morning before we get up and If I have time, we do it again before I leave for work. As soon as I arrive, I...

Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongoose ,Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, "fuck me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife." Mongoose says...

I like our new defensive resolve ,I think we will snatch this 0-1 with a deft header from one of our Dutch contingent in the closing minutes ,or Salah on his return to form could give the Spudz CB's twisted blood ,thus inspiring a pyramid to be constructed in the middle of Stanley Park as...