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Why? It’s that thing the ref gave you for a blatant dive the other week.

Wastrel chubster and Orient misfit George Moncur has swapped National League mediocrity with Southend for a National League relegation certainty with Ebbsfleet. Imagine he’ll rock up at Chelmsford City after his contract with us expires.

Our away support is mediocre at the best of times, let alone when you’ve got to stand on an open terrace during a winter storm on the #1 hangover day of the year.

Nah, the squad is far too thin. One more injury to the forward players and we’ll be in trouble.

Yep, absolutely. First half you came with the same gameplan as Burton: didn’t run a high press, but kept the formation very solid and pressed as soon as we got near the halfway line. Played entirely for free kicks & throw ins (don’t think you put 4+ passes together until injury time). All fair...

*Chuckles in schadenfreude*

I’d imagine Reading will be in administration (again) before the end of the season.

Got gubbed at Shrewsbury earlier in the season when we were both on 0 points. Absolutely dire performance from us but Shrews were organised and exploited our frailties pretty well. Wouldn’t have said they were bad enough to be well adrift of safety at this point, but then again it was probably...

We keep rumbling on. Indifferent performance from us overall but probably should have had six before Rovers got their second, triggering a stressful last 20 minutes. After Promise Omochere missed an early sitter we controlled the game. Nice finish from Galbraith for our first and a...

We really, really miss the dynamism of El Miz (shock, horror that a Championship player would greatly improve us) and the hard running of Theo Archibald. All a bit slow and weak without them, though we play some lovely stuff on the counter. Imagine we’ll have a fucking awful January like usual...

10 clean sheets in our last 12 including 7 in a row. Blimey. Even game up until our opener but 2-0 flattered Cambridge in the end. Someone is going to take an absolute pasting soon.

1,252 Cambridge taking the quick trip down the M11.

Impossible to give us less of a game. It was genuinely diabolical. I must have seen 100 sides with less ability but never one with less professionalism. On the plus side it does mean that your season can theoretically be turned around by a new man in charge. Risky appointment you’ve made, though.

*Glances over in Cockney puzzlement*

Worst sides I’ve seen are Rovers, Crawley, Rotherham & Northampton (in that order). Not played Cambridge yet and we threw in our worst performance of the season vs. Shrews. Burton put in a good defensive showing but had nothing going forward and they can’t 0-0 their way to safety.

I will laugh my tits off when Bolton win it.

Six consecutive clean sheets. Impressive stuff.

And so it proved. Crawley gone completely to pieces since we doubled our lead. Could be anything if we discover our long-lost shooting boots.

419 Creepies crawled their way around the M25

Excellent goal from us. Couple of wonderful passes in the build-up. Not been a bad game, really; two sides trying to play football at least. Ref is abysmal - booking Wollacott for making a good tackle particularly egregious. Next goal crucial.