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Ollie Palmer has never in his entire career been ‘up to L1’ standard. Always been a conference donkey with L2 physical attributes. Great bloke but never a third tier footballer in a million years.

The dream of the Invincibles season is still alive as we allegedly fall 2-0 to Arsenal, but it was behind closed doors so no-one can prove it ever happened #HMSunbeatableorient

Whichever keeper signs for us will be first choice. Our #2 is barely Conference South standard and then there’s a couple of untested kids. We’ve been spoiled for good keepers over the past 10 years so we’re due a dodgy one.

1,014 O’s on a European tour to the marginally more racist side of the Scottish capital.

I’m aware. But the team that Alain was referring to, I.e. the one that got you promoted, has been almost entirely dismantled. I was wondering if the sentiments about surprising fancied teams, having quality all over the pitch and having no doubts about avoiding the drop were still true? Genuine...

What say you now you’ve got none of your team left, Alain?

Not defending it for a second, but they are cheaper in advance. Absolutely disgusting prices, though, and our fans are letting the club have it on Twitter.

Unsurprising that 4 of the bottom 5 have ripped up their squads from last year, but that Crawley figure really sticks out in a bad way. Are the owners just cashing in on every asset because they assume this is going to be the peak of their value?

Confirmed as Sam Hutchinson today. Pretty sure we can do better, can’t we…? Also had Luca Ashby-Hammond in goal, younger brother of Stevenage’s stopper.

DESTROYED Scottish Premier League club Jam Tarts of Midlothian 2-1. The Invincibles Season is still on.

Maiden voyage for HMS Pissthistinpotleague is a roaring success, then. Unstoppable.

Fantastic signings for next year’s 2016/17 season.

Cheap back-up. Knows where the goal is, which is always useful. Most games he’ll make your team worse overall from a performance point of view, though.

Fraud of a footballer. Instinctive finisher, reasonably quick and prepared to run a reasonable press. Absolutely brainless otherwise. Dribbles down blind alleys, can’t/won’t pass, unintelligent movement, terrible decision making if given any time to think, very little in the way of physicality...

We’ve drawn Colchester and then not one but two illegitimate fixtures. Lucky us.

Gruesome first 8 fixtures for us. Bolton, Charlton, Birmingham, Posh, Reading, Stockport, Wrexham. Good job Shrewsbury are in there as well.

That was the most embarrassing thing I saw all season - and I saw Joe Piggott trying to play football on at least 10 occasions.

To be fair it’s probably a difficult transition to go from a proper club to a hobby club. Wouldn’t want to be the Welsh Salford City myself, but these things do happen.

Not as surprised as Crawley are to be here tbf.

Hello! To be honest you’ll probably be like us and have actually signed some players but are drip-feeding news releases for “content” purposes.