Gerrard's Autobiography

[Christian Slater]

At the moment I believe it is untitled, which is appropriate. The excerpts released thus far are hilarious, it's genuinely tough to tell if some of it is parody.

This is my favourite bit from Steven's book so far, regarding Benitez's famous bit of paper:

One time he did suffer a meltdown involving Manchester United and Sir Alex Ferguson. I went home from training that Friday lunchtime and switched on the TV. Rafa sat down with his usual half-smile. It looked likely to be a normal press conference, but then he reached into his pocket for a piece of paper.

He spread it out on the table and began to read out one 'fact' after another. Rafa kept saying 'fact... fact... fact...' and I could not believe what I was hearing. I was grabbing the couch, digging my fingers into the arms, feeling embarrassed for him.

Rafa started by saying that maybe Manchester United 'are nervous because we are at the top of the table'. I thought: 'Uh oh, what's happening here?'

It seemed so unlike Rafa to talk in such an emotional way. You could see the anger in him. 'I want to talk about facts,' Rafa said. 'I want to be clear, I do not want to play mind games too early, although they seem to want to start. But I have seen some facts.'

Rafa went off on a ramble about how Manchester United and 'Mr Ferguson' had not been properly punished for various misdemeanours. He listed dates and incidents and concluded that 'Mr Ferguson is the only manager in the league that cannot be punished for these things'.

He then railed against the fixture list and the timing of matches being skewed in United's favour. Rafa was sounding muddled and bitter and paranoid. He was humiliating himself. It was a disaster. I couldn't understand Rafa's thinking in wanting to take on Ferguson, a master of mind games, when we were sitting so calmly on top of the table early into a new year.

When I met up with England all the Manchester United players told me Fergie was just laughing at Rafa, saying: 'I've got him. I've got him.'

Rafa made a lot of decisions with himself in mind. He wanted power and control. I didn't like it. Fighting with the board, other managers and the press wasn't the Liverpool way

 

[Stevencc]

I sat in the back of the car and felt the tears rolling down my face. I hadn't cried for years but, on the way home, I couldn't stop. The tears kept coming. I can't even tell you if the streets were thick with traffic or as empty as I was on the inside. It was killing me. I felt numb, like I had lost someone in my family. It was as if my whole quarter of a century at this football club poured out of me. I did not even try to stem the silent tears as the events of the afternoon played over and over again in my head. April 27 2014: one more victory and we would be almost certain to win the league for the first time since May 1990.

I see what you mean about the parody part.

 

[Richard Cranium]

I'll be buying it just to read his experience of the slip.

 

[Smudge]

I'll be buying it just to read his experience of the slip.

Nothing like being melodramatic is there?

 

[Richard Cranium]

Gold

 

[SamScfc]

Half of the stories will be full of shit, just a way to sell copies.

 

[BlueBee]

He's got a bit of an obsession with Jose Mourinho too it seems. He's a bit odd.

 

[Mr. Scruff]

He comes accross as the arrogant self absorbed personal glory seeker we all knew he was.

Fair play on the comments on Rafa's though, perhaps Liverpool fans can stop pretending it was anything other than an utter embarresment now.

 

[JimJams]

That's your opinion Scruff. Not a fact!

 

[johnnytodd]

" I can honestly say I have never dived"

 

[JimJams]

Well it is being sold in the fiction section of Waterstones.

 

[merseyboyred]

Nothing like being melodramatic is there?

He's trying to sell a book, may have something to do with it. Bet you'd have felt fine after it though.

 

[mnb089mnb]

He comes accross as the arrogant self absorbed personal glory seeker we all knew he was.

Like a footballer.

Although staying at Liverpool for your whole career is likely to turn you into a bit of a nutcase.

 

[Smudge]

He's trying to sell a book, may have something to do with it. Bet you'd have felt fine after it though.

I felt pretty good after it thanks.

 

[mnb089mnb]

I fairness we're all a bit melodramatic about football. A lot of fans criticise players for not caring enough so it's nice when the players join in.

 

[allouso]

He comes accross as the arrogant self absorbed personal glory seeker we all knew he was.

In which part exactly? Nothing wrong with the bits i've seen so far.

 

[Mr. Scruff]

Being incredulous at someone else being chosen as England captain claiming it's disrespectful to him?

I also thought the passage about the slip kinda came across that way, it's all about his loss though thats probably unfair given it is his book.

 

[allouso]

Being incredulous at someone else being chosen as England captain claiming it's disrespectful to him?

I also thought the passage about the slip kinda came across that way, it's all about his loss though thats probably unfair given it is his book.

Didn't see the part about the captaincy to be honest, i'll look it up.

Don't see much wrong in the slip part personally, he obviously felt that the reason the club failed was because of his fuck up and he felt pretty bad about it. He was always gonna talk about how it felt for him, what else would you expect from an autobiography?

 

[Stagat]

I fairness we're all a bit melodramatic about football. A lot of fans criticise players for not caring enough so it's nice when the players join in.

They could've told the writer to go easy on it here though. At least make it sound a bit like Gerrard wrote it himself.

 

[mnb089mnb]

They could've told the writer to go easy on it here though. At least make it sound a bit like Gerrard wrote it himself.

Not sure it'd be readable if every sentence ended in "la".

 

[ArmchairDiehard]

" I can honestly say I have never dived"

Did he really say that?

 

[Six pints of STELLA]

This book seems to be a bit like Gerrard's career..an utter failure.

 

[Stevencc]

 

[johnnytodd]

Did he really say that?

Yep and he also said Saltire was season ticket holder

Did he really say that?

 

[Pagnell]

This book seems to be a bit like Gerrard's career..an utter failure.

Yup, winning pretty much everything a top flight footballer can possibly win during a 17 year career bar the league title surely counts as an 'utter failure'.

 

[excpomelo]

i admire him from child, when he plays in Liverpool.

 

[TheArtfulDodger]

Do people actually read footballer's 'autobigoraphies'?

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Do people actually read footballer's 'autobigoraphies'?

There's few things I'd have less inclination to read rather than a footballer's autobiography.

1. A Harry Potter Book
2. The bible

I can't think of any more at the moment.

 

[shane]

Do people actually read footballer's 'autobigoraphies'?

I'm not a fan of sporting biographies but I read Pirlos and Ibrohimovic''s in the last couple of years.

Two of the most interesting footballers and both books were appalling. I'm not sure if it was a result of some of the text being lost in translation but both have convinced me never to read a sporting biography again such was the quality of the writing. Zlatan's was particularly bad.

They could have done a better job if they had written them themselves.

 

[Pagnell]

There's few things I'd have less inclination to read rather than a footballer's autobiography.

1. A Harry Potter Book
2. The bible

I can't think of any more at the moment.

3. Any shite like this. You can't do a search for anything vaguely Sci-Fi/Fantasy related on the Amazon or Waterstones websites without being bombarded with it.