The Oaf Wrestlemania Marathon

[Oaf]

So yeah, fuck it. I don't want all of this to disappear, so I'm gonna go and post the lot of it onto here. Some of the pictures may be broken and whatever, plus the formatting is all weird with random bold/italics in some place for some reason, but screw it, at least it'll still be alive in some form.

So here it is, from Wrestlemania 1:

"Mean Gene" Okerlund Sings the national anthem
Why?

Tito Santana vs The Executioner
Ah, Tito Santana. The guy who, previous to this, I only ever knew as "the first guy to ever fight at Wrestlemania". The other guy didn't matter. It was now when it dawned on me how different wrestling was back then... the whole pace of it... the overuse of the words "UNBELIEVABLE" and "HOLY MACKERAL!"... generic crappy masked guys... back when it was about the wrestling, more than the showman-ship. A simpler time.
But yeah, the match itself, for its time, was ok. Tito won it with a figure-4 leglock. Getton Tito.

Special Delivery Jones vs King Kong Bundy
My GOD that english bloke between matches is SHIT. He can't string a sentence together without falling over his own ass. Pathetic. Get him out of there.
Anyway, King Kong Bundy... I've heard of him. The fat dude. Awesome. Never heard of the other bloke though... and for good reason, by the looks of things. He got demolished. The "official" time was listed as 9 seconds, but I timed it closer to around 20...

Matt Bourne vs Ricky Steamboat
I got excited here. I had only ever seen Steamboat wrestle at WM25... in that handicap match against Jericho... and he was the best performer in the ring, at what, 80 years old?! So yeah, the thought of seeing him in his prime was great...
And he didn't dissapoint. He was a class ahead of everybody else so far. Steamboat won it with a flying cross body off of the top rope which was impressive, considering that this was at a time where top rope manuevers were less common. I'm a big Steamboat fan... and I've heard about his match at WM3... its meant to be one of the best of all time, yeah? Can't wait.

David Sammartino vs Brutus Beefcake
Haha, That dude with Beefcake told the crappy english bloke to "wake up", while he was doing his shitty stuff again. Brilliant. In his face.
But, OH MAH GAWD. David is with his father, the legendary Bruno Sammartino... thats the dude who had the title for 9 years in total... 7 of them being consecutively! Impressive for him... Must have been a boring time to be a wrestling fan... Then again, a stark contrast to now, where its impressive if someone can keep the title for a month...

But yeah, a back and forth contest, until David got his ass bodyslammed on the outside of the ring. Match went on a bit longer, until it started to get out of hand with both manager's getting involved... ended in a double DQ. Boooo...

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs Junk Yard Dog
Intercontinental Championship
The first title bout of the event. An ok match, but the end I thought was a bit stupid. Valentine pins JYD with his legs on the rope... gets the 3, and then Tito Santana runs out and tells the referee what happened... so the match gets restarted. If that could happen in wrestling, it would happen several times per night. Why only this match, in like, history, does this happen? Foolishness.
Valentine's already celebrating outside of the ring at this point, and Jimmy Hart stops him from going back into the ring... so he gets counted out. JYD wins by countout... but doesn't get the title. But meh, he seems happy enough. Bless 'em.

The Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff vs The U.S. Express
Tag Team Championships

Only now do I fully appreciate the Iron Shiek. I mean, I always thought that his moustache was EPIC... and he'll probably always just been known as "the guy Hogan beat for his first title", but my god this guy is hilarious. I love him on the mic. As soon as he said "You know, Gene Mean" I was sold on him.

The only thing better than how great he was, was the fact that they won! One of the other dudes got clocked with "classy" Freddy Blaise's cane, pinfall, New tag team champions. Brilliant. These guys got an incredible reaction from the crowd, so this was well deserved.

"IRAN NUMBER 1!"

Andre the Giant vs Big John StuddBody Slam Match for $15,000
I always think the deal with Andre is funny... Had he been brought into wrestling in the modern age, he'd be slated. He makes The Big Show look like Kurt Angle, he can't really wrestle at all. I'd perhaps say he's worse than Khali... ok, maybe too far... but still. However, he was in it in these days... where he wasn't just accepted, he was adored, and reached the legendary status he has today. Again, another sign of how different wrestling was 25 years ago. Anyway, of course, he won it. Did that legendary "throwing the money to the crowd" thing, where Bobby Heenan took the bag off of him.

Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai
Womens Championship
Just like nowdays, I skipped the womens match. Ha.

And now... for the MAAAAAAAAIIIIN EVENT!

Hulk Hogan and Mr T (With Jimmy Snuka) vs Roddy Piper and Paul Orndoff (With Bob Orton).
I pity the foo' who doesn't watch the first ever Mania main event! This match seemed a bit out of its time... the ring was surrounded by celebrities (such as some Baseball dude, and Muhammed Ali) and the crowd were going wild throughout. Piper had a cool entrance (which was cool, seeing as only about 5 people actually HAD proper entrances in this event... 4 of them being in this main event) with a live band playing his music. Mr T wasn't exactly a great wrestler, but... well, he's Mr T, so he gets away with it. But yeah, it was a classic Tag team bout... starts off even, Hogan gets his ass kicked for a bit, makes a tag... Mr T gets his ass kicked for a bit.. and so on. It all got a bit chaotic at one stage, including a moment where Piper took a right hand from Ali...

. So yeah, this continues for a bit, until Bob Orton climbs to the top rope, tries to his Hogan with his cast, and accidently clocks Orndoff with it instead. Hogan, being the respectful warrior he is, takes full advantage, and gets the pinfall victory. Orndoff wakes up pissed. Orton and Piper get out of there.

So, all in all... I thought it was OK. It was pretty cool seeing the likes of Steamboat in thier prime, and seeing how much wrestling has changed over the years. I can sort of see how this event helped to transition wrestling into being the global phenominan it has become. Plus, its got me really hyped for WM2.

So yeah, thanks for reading (if you did... if not, Bugger off

). This isn't really an event worth going out of your way to see... unless you just want to see how it all got started. Its probably worth any real wrestling fan watching at least the main event, if only to say that you have. Overall... I'll give it about a 6/10. And a point of that is won purely by the Iron Shiek. I also didn't comment on how epic his shoes were. His shoes = Very epic.

Hello. Modern 2015 Oaf talking again now. Hope that comes out ok... if not, it's everybodies fault except for mine.

 

[Oaf]

Ouch. Some seriously fucked up formatting there. I'm gonna try to tidy that up a bit....

Edit: That's better. I'll post a bunch of them up now and then some more later, probably.

 

[Saddlerrad]

Go for it! Looking forward to this thread.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania 2!
What the world has come to.

What a stupid tagline.

Something that needs to be mentioned before I even begin... what the hell is the deal with these women commentators?! WHY? They are just celebrities who probably couldn't even give a shite about wrestling. I mean, wrestling doesn't suit a womens voice... but when the woman doesn't even give a damn about wrestling, it makes it even more painful. I'm usually all for equal rights and such, but not here. Good GAWD. Anyway...

A very unique set up for this event... being held in 3 different venues. Each venue had 3 undercard matches, and one main event... so 12 matches in total. The show opened with a hilariously younger Vince Mcmahon greeting the crowd. Ha. Anyway, time for the first match...

"Mr Wondeful" Paul Orndorff vs "The magnificent" Don Muraco
What a change for Mr Wonderful. From the main event to the opener in one year. Of course, thats not really a bad thing, as the WM opener is generally seen as the match to set the tone for the rest of the show... so it has a lot riding on it. The match wasn't great... but was made worth it just to see Mr Fuji. That guy is hilarious. Not Iron Shiek hilarious, but great none-the-less.
Anyway, both men fought to the outside, kept fighting and both got counted out... which was pretty ghey. Funny how Orndorff finishes his match going crazy at the result again though. Overall though, not that great a start...

George "The animal" Steele vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage ©
Intercontinental Championship

My god what characters. Steele was simply unique, nothing more to say. Never seen anything like him... and how damn hairy is he?! Jeeeez. And Macho man, as proved by his pre match interview, is THE stereotypical "wrestler" type character. I mean, seriously, watch his interview. STEREOTYPE. Brilliant. But yeah, the match was ok, was made very entertaining by Steele's antics. Also, a kick out of Macho Mans elbow drop helped make this much better... I didn't see that coming. Savage grabbed the win by scoring a pin with his feet on the ropes. A very entertaining match overall though... even if that stupid women commentator (I've forgot here name. A "celebrity" that I've never heard of...) nearly ruined it. She was AWFUL. About 80% of the stuff coming out of her mouth was "UH OH!". SHUT. UP. And she was so far up the Animal's ass she was banging her head on his teeth.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs George Wells.

This one was a bit special for me. I had never heard of this other dude... but Jake the Snake is held in special regard by me. I went to watch a wrestling show about 8 years ago, back when I first got into wrestling... and before the show, I was just sat talking to my brother, when I noticed a large dude standing next to me. I turn to my left, and see Jake Roberts looking at me, who says "Keep an eye out, I'll be seeing you later kid" in a very suave kind of way, and then walks off to get ready for his match later... so then he has his match, and during it, the match goes outside of the ring, and he comes and sits next to me. As a 12 year old kid, that, for me, was a great moment... I didn't know much about this guy, other than the fact that he used to wrestle for the WWE, and once fought 'Taker at mania. But still, to see that guy live was pretty special... and since then, I've always had an admiration of the dude. He's the only actual "big time" wrestler I've ever seen in person...
Anyway, the match. Yeah, it was pretty much, Wells dominates, Roberts get in one move, his DDT, and wins it. I love how overpowered that move is, when it happens quite a bit in more modern wrestling... of course, Roberts then does his "snake" thing, and puts a python onto Wells. Get on Jakers. Legend.

New Yorks Main event: Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Mr. T
Boxing Match.
Seems a bit wierd that they'd have a boxing match at Wrestlemania, but meh. I'm up for something a bit different. Piper was actually pretty impressive I thought. Very agressive... perhaps too agressive. Anyway, Piper knocked down T first, and then as it went on, T knocked down Piper twice. In the 4th round, however, Piper pushed the ref away and gave Mr T a bodyslam... so was disqualified. Mr T wins. And also pity's the foo', who uses a wrestling move in a boxing match.

Fabulous Moolah © vs Velvet McIntyre
Womens championship
Can I get a S. K. I. P?

Corporal Kirchner vs Nikolai Volkoff
Flag Match
Sorry what? Flag match? USA vs Russia? During the cold war? Wow. I really can't be arsed to see a match in which they're not possibly going to let the USA lose, and then a 5 minutes USA bumming session. SKIP.

20 Man Battle Royal - NFL vs WWF
This more then makes up for those last two matches!!! Look at the people in it! I loved simply seeing Bruno Sammartino at WM1... but he was actually in this! As well as Pedro Morales, the second longest reigning champion of all time. And... Bret Hart?! I didn't even know he was in it in these days. This now becomes the first ever match I've seen start to finish with Bret Hart in it...

. Other greats included the Iron Shiek (YES!), Big John Studd and Tony Atlas.... I didn't really care about the NFL people... until I saw that "The refrigerator" was in it! I know jack shit about NFL, but even I know about the refrigerator!!! YEEEEAAAAH!!! And then last to come out... Andre the Giant. Which kind of ruined it, as I now knew who was going to win... I know all about Andre's legendary Battle Royal stats.
But yeah, what a star studded lineup. The battle gets underway... all of the NFL dudes go out pretty fast... apart from the refrigerator of course, who's too badass to go out as easy as the others. Anyway, long and short of it is that the last 3 are Andre (surprise surprise) and the Hart Foundations Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart. Its a bit of a two on 1, but Andre obviously ends up getting them both out. Andre wins! Who saw that coming?!

...

Illinois Main Event: The British Bulldogs (With Ozzy Osbourne at ringside... lolz) vs "Dream Team" Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine
©Tag Team Titles
The British bulldogs! Hell yeah! It was a pretty decent tag team match, which ended when Valentine banged heads with the Dynamite Kid, and Davey Boy pinned him for the win. British Bulldogs are the new tag team champions!!! YEEEEAH! Overall, this was pretty fan-bloody-tastic.

Ricky Steamboat vs Hercules Hernandez
I'm always up for seeing Steamboat, and as expected, he was great. The other dude... not so. Kind of managed to make Steamboat look worse as well. Fool. Hercules tried a flying body press, missed it... and then got met with one from the dragon, who grabbed the win. Good. That guy always deserves to win, he's freakin' awesome.

I'm trying to blank the next match out of my mind. It was wierd and disturbing. Lets never speak of it again. Next...

Terry and Hoss Funk vs Junk Yard Dog and Tito Santana
I struggled to really get into this one... I dunno. This was the 11th match of the night, and seeing just another tag match, which didn't seem to have any real purpose, seemed a bit pointless. Besides, if I want to see Terry Funk wrestle, I'll watch some of his crazy japanese hardcore stuff. The Funk's won, after using Jimmy Harts megaphone. Yays.

And now... its time for...THE MAIN EVENT!

Hulk Hogan © vs King Kong Bundy
Steel Cage match for the WWF Championship
F*** me, Hulkamania is simply incredible. Hogan enters, climbs the cage and tears his shirt off... its hair standing up on the back of your neck kind of stuff. This is Hulkamania at its finest. Awe inspiring. So yeah, its the exact formula I expected throughout the match... Bundy kicks ass, working on Hogans injured ribs a bit. Makes a few close calls to getting out of the door (well, he's hardly going to go over the top, is he?) but gets stopped everytime. Hogan then goes crazy for a bit, and starts smashing Bundy all over the cage, busting him open in the process. He then managed to come back, however, and he hit Hogan with an avalanche and big splash... and things began to look a bit grim for the Hulkster... but he still manages to stop him! Hogan then gets himself hit with another avalanche... but begins to hulk up! Only Hogan can get away with totally not selling a move! He manages to scoopslam Bundy and then hit him with his leg drop... and climb out for the win. Hogan retains! Bundy... fades into oblivion... Again, the immense force that is Hulkamania manages to impress me, with Hogans celebrations at the end.

So overall, again, I liked it. Had some great matches, the best for me being The Intercontinental title fight, the Tag team title fight, The Battle Royal and the Cage Match. Looking back... I think I was a bit generous to WM1 for giving it a 6, it probably deserved about a 5... I just assumed it was the best it got at this time. This, however, proved that it could be better, and I'll give about a 7. Its dragged down by a few too many matches... and the woman commentators. In fact, due to them, I'm only going to give it a 6. They were AWFUL.
I'd kind of recommend this for wrestling fans... theres plenty to see. If you can only see one thing though, make sure its the main event, if only to see how great Hogan was back in his day.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania 3
Bigger! Better! Badder!

What a freakin' crowd. 93,000. Jeez. Makes me wonder why they don't hold every Wrestlemania in such a venue.

The Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco & Bob Orton
Finally. After being at ringside for Piper at the previous 2 'Mania's, I get to see Randy Orton's pa go to work. And who are these other guys? Never even heard of 'em... This match wasn't bad... but it wasn't great either. The Can-Am Connection managed to score the victory after Muraco trips over one of them and gets cross bodied at the same time. Again, this match was helped by the presense of the hilarious Mr Fuji at ringside.Billy Jack Haynes vs HerculesA match based on two "masters" of the full nelson... Yawn. The match was pretty slow... basically full of, well, full nelsons. Which, lets be frank, is a pretty shitty wrestling hold overall. That makes 2 mania's in a row I've not liked this Hercules bloke. Feckin' boo.

King Kong Bundy and midgets vs Hillbilly Jim and Midgets
Oh ****ing dear. This is possibly the start of the WWF/E's obsession with midgets. WHY? How King Kong Bundy has fallen... main event, to this. THIS. In the space of a year.

"King" Harley Race vs Junk Yard Dog
Loser must bow match
Again another pretty "meh" match. Race cheated to win... so JYD did a little bow thing, before twatting him with a chair and nicking his robe. And OI! Thats friggin' Jerry Lawlers music. Stop using it.

The Dream Team (Beefcake and Valentine) vs The fabulous Rougeau's.
Who?! Rougeau's?! Never heard of 'em. This match wasn't too bad. The Dream Team won this after interference by Dino Bravo... which Beefcake wasn't happy about. He was left in the ring by Valentine, Bravo and Jimmy Hart, moaning about the end with the... other dudes.

Adrian Adonis vs Rowdy Roddy Piper
Hair vs Hair
Ha. Piper's "retirement" match. Thats funny. I could have sworn I saw him wrestling about 20 years on from this point

And that other dude... thats the bloke from the match we don't speak about, from Mania 2... ugh. Makes me urge. At least he wasn't wearing a dress this time... well actually, that would have covered up his FLAB, so it probably wasn't a good thing. Anyway, this match ended when Piper got in his sleeper... and he actually won via the whole "ref drops his hand 3 times" thing. Matches can actually END like that? Christ

.Yeah, Beefcake came out and cut that freak's hair. That guy ought to be nicknamed "The Barber"....

Great "sendoff" for Piper though. Got a great standing ovaition from the 93,000 in attendance.

The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis vs. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana
Ah, another chance to see Hart wrestle... and the British Bulldogs! Who, this time, actually have thier proper "british bulldog" attire. This match was pretty decent... I liked the use of that Davis referee bloke. Coming in for about 2 kicks, then tagging back out.

. And seeing him get his ass handed to himself was great as well. Good ending, with Davis pulling off a major upset, pinning Davey Boy after hitting him with that famous Mega-phone of Jimmy's. The first proper "good" match, of the evening.

Butch Reed vs Koko B. Ware
Um... I'm struggling to recall anything from this really. Reed won after rolling Koko up while holding the tights. Pretty pointless...

Randy Savage © vs Ricky Steamboat
Intercontinental Title
Ooooooooohh SHIIIIIIIIT! This 'Mania had been pretty poor overall... but then, this match got pulled out of nowhere. Holy. FRICK. What a match. And to think it was in this day and age?! It really did have everything you could wish for to make a great match. A decent fued leading into it, a title on the line (that had been held for 14 months prior!), a great story told throughout the match, fantastic reversals, a CRAPTON of pin attempts... I've seen people call this the greatest match of all time. I wouldn't go that far... but as far as being the greatest match for its time goes... yeah. I'd probably let you have that. I held Steamboat in high regard since seeing him at WM 25, as an old man, step up there with Chris Jericho and match him. And thats saying something, seeing as Jericho is fantastic, and in his prime. The last two mania's elevated him to a higher level in my mind... and this match pushed him even higher still. What a legend. And Macho Man, also. Put on a decent show against Steele the last time around, and put out great reason for him to get to the level he did. A 10/10 type match, if ever there was one. And managed to get this Wrestlemania back on track.

Jake Roberts (With Alice Cooper!) vs Honky Tonk Man
Again, I always love to see Roberts fight, for personal reasons. And the Honky Tonk Man is great

. Yeah, the match wasn't exactly that great... Honky (

, Honky) won it by scoring a pinfall with his feet on the ropes... and got out of there so fast, he left Jimmy Hart in the ring, who was approached by a distinctively weedy looking Alice Cooper. Roberts then got in the ring, and they then did the whole "snake" thing to Hart.
And after that video LF put up, I think Hart should be happy that it was only a Python...

Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/Slick) vs. The Killer Bees
More pro-USA crap. But, it had the Iron Shiek, which of course, made it better. Match was ok... ended in a DQ, when Jim Duggan whacked Shiek over the back with a 2X4. So the USA lost the battle... but won the war. Of course.

And now... The MAIN EVENT!

Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan ©
WWF Heavyweight Championship
Never Heard of it.

Nah. This is, of course, possibly the most famous match in wrestling history... and one that I had never seen in full. Of course, I had seen "that" moment before... but I was looking forward to seeing it in the context of the match itself. And yeah, this went exactly as predicted. Hogan tries a bodyslam, and does his back in. Jeez, he's an old man already. He then proceeds to get 7 bells of shit kicked out of him by Andre for a good couple of minutes. There are a few little revivals, but he keeps running into a brick wall. Andre's looking pretty unstoppable... they brawl to the outside, where Hogan tries a piledriver onto the unpadded concrete floor... which he fails to do, and then gets thrown back into the ring, making that whole section seem pretty pointless overall. But yeah, thens when things start going crazy. He manages to knock the big guy on his arse... Hulks up... and delivers "That" Bodyslam, followed by a legdrop. I'll admit, while watching it, every single hair on my body was stood up. Purely history making stuff, and one of, if not the most recognisable moments in the history of professional wrestling. Andre's 15 year unbeaten streak goes down the shitter. The crowd goes ballistic.
The match itself... just the common "big guy beats up a... well, less big guy." The emotion of the match... untouchable. Historic stuff.

So yeah... overall, I didn't think that the event was great. In fact, the only matches I actually got into were the Hart Foundation one, the Intercontinental title one, and the Main Event. Two of those though, the IC title and World Title matches, were both absolutely outstanding, both for thier own reasons. Overall, I'll give it another 6. Though, rest assured, the two matches I talk about are both 10/10 standard... without them, this event would probably get about a 2.
As far as recommendation goes... I'd strongly advise just trying to get a hold of the two matches mentioned... but I wouldn't really recommend watching the whole thing start to finish. It just felt as if they were going for quantity of matches (thats 12 again!) over quality. But when it pulls out the quality... boy, does it do it in style.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania IV
What the World is Watching

For the most part... unlucky, world. It seems as if Wrestlemania's have been going down hill recently... going for a large number of matches, instead of just a few great ones. The last two had an incredible 12 fights each... this one had 16. 16! Granted, there was a tournament with 14 guys in it, for the vacant WWF Heavyweight Championship... but there was still quite a bit of pointless filler. I can't help but feel that this tourniment would have been better had I not known what the final was going to be from the start...

20 Man Battle Royal
Like this, for instance. Now, I'm usually ok with Battle Royals... but in the grand scheme of things, this seemed utterly pointless. Oh well, at least it gave me another chance to see Bret Hart wrestle... though I do wish they'd stop wasting him in these battle royals, and making him the last man eliminated. Bad news Brown won it. Whoever that is.

And now, starts the tournament!

Ted DiBiase vs Jim Duggan
1st round

Blllrrggggh. I honestly can't stand Jim Duggan. Plus I knew who was going to win it... I skipped most of it. I assume I didn't miss much. Some outside interference from Andre gave DiBiase the win.

Dino Bravo vs Don Muraco
1st round
A match with two people I don't particularly care about in it... and where does Muraco get off calling himself The Rock? There's only one Rock, fool. Due to this, I was rooting for Bravo... but Muraco won it via DQ. BOOOOO. Foolish Bravo.

Greg Valentine vs Ricky Steamboat
1st round
AHA! A steamboat match. Finally something to get excited about. And as always, Steamboat is great. I haven't mentioned yet, how damned impressive are his armdrags?! Who'd have thought a move so lame could be made so fantastic. But then, yeah... HE LOST?! NOOOOOO! I'm not that into Valentine. He doesn't look like a wrestler. Looks more like a guy who would be eaten by dinosaurs, had he been in Jurassic Park. Or the first guy to get killed in 300 or something similar. Or a bloke who works behind a bar. Any of those'd suit him. Not a wrestler. I was quite looking forward to seeing more than one Steamboat match in the night, but boom goes that.

Butch Reed vs Randy Savage
1st round
And so begins the Macho Man's rise to POWAH! Its not a great match, but Macho Man wins. Thats all that matters.

One Man Gang vs Bam Bam Bigelow
1st round
OH MAH GAAAWWDD! The ONE MAN GANG! THE O, M, G! I used to have that (terrible) Legends of Wrestling game, thats where I first discovered this guy. I used to play as him all the time, LOOK AT HIM! He's freakin' huge! He's one badass MOTHER****ER! He'd make you his bitch, and take your woman! Totally tore this other guy up, got the guy counted out. ONWARD MARCH OMG!!

Yeah, the match itself was shit. By the way.

Rick Rude vs Jake Roberts
1st round
Woohoo, more of the Snake... wait... whats this? 15 minutes of armbars and sleeper holds?! Wow, thats some sleeper hold Rick Rude put on Roberts. Its even putting me to sleep...ZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz...
What a bore-fest this match was. Jake goes down in my estimations. Yeah, 15 minutes of this turd... which just so happened to be the time limit for the match. Time out, both men are eliminated.

And so ends the first round... the second round brackets looking thusly. Theres that word again:

Hogan
Andre

DiBiase
Muraco

Valentine
Savage

OMG
Bye

Hercules vs Ultimate Warrior
Hercules' craptasticness strikes again! And whats the deal with The Ultimate Warrior? I've always regarded Shawn Michaels as being the best in the world at selling moves... I think that this guy reaches the other end of the spectrum. And to think that this guy goes to the things he does. Madness. I'll bet he'd have been good at the time though

.

Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan
2nd Round
WHAAAA?! I actually had no idea that this was taking place, so I was surprised to see this on the card... plus, I had no idea of the result. Then I remembered... the actual Match at WM3 was actually not that great... and neither was this, really. I mean, it was cool to see these guys face off again... but the idea of it was better than the thing itself. Hogan whacks Andre with a chair... and inexplicably doesn't get DQ'ed. Andre then hits Hogan with the chair... and they both get DQ'ed? What? Bullshit. What a horrible ending. Hogan was a prick first off, for hitting Andre with the chair. Way to fight for all your "little Hulkamaniacs", and going along with the whole "fighting the good fight" stuff, brother. Made no sense at all.

Don Muraco vs Ted DiBiase
2nd round
This was ok. DiBiase won it cleanly, which surprised me. Take that "Rock". Go lay down, Jabroni. You ain't no Rock.

Greg Valentine vs Randy Savage
2nd round
Hm. Had Steamboat won the last round, this could have been a rematch of one of the best matches of all time. Instead, we get the Dino-meat. Brilliant. Yet another massive disappointment handed out by this Wrestlemania.
Although saying that, this wasn't too bad. A few close calls, and Jimmy Hart gets his face stuck in there a bit. Savage wins, of course.

New Brackets!

Bye
DiBiase

Savage
OMG


Honky Tonk Man © vs Brutus Beefcake
Intercontinental Title
He's the Honky Tonk Man! I remember seeing some old wrestling on Sky Sports, it always seemed to be showing The Honky Tonk mans reign as I.C. champ. And Beefcake here is fully "Barber-ised"... which I'm not too fond of. This match is a bit of a joke really, very lttle wrestling, Hart gets his hair cut, and Beefcake wins via DQ... so Honky (lol, Honky) retains. YEEEEESSSS!

The Islanders and Bobby Heenan vs The British Bulldogs and Koko B. Ware
This match was alright... and its always good to see the Bulldogs wrestle. Was pretty funny seeing "The Brain" in the ring as well... and pull of the pinfall for the victory! I'm never a fan of seeing the Bulldogs lose, but at least it was only Koko who got pinned. They then set thier dog on Heenan, who... didn't really do anything to him. It just looked confused. Poor thing.

One Man Gang vs Randy Savage
Semi Final
Again, a pretty crap match from OMG. But he's a badass, so he gets away with it. He starts strangely beating the crap out of (or at least trying to) Savage, which is seen by the ref, who disqualifies him. Savage is through to the final to face DiBiase. Who'd have thunk it...

Strike Force © vs Demolition
Tag Team Titles
Meh. I also remember Strike Force from the early WWE stuff on Sky Sports. I thought that they were so generic it was unreal. Didn't really know Santana was one of them

. Yeah, Kiss... I mean, Demolition won this. They hit 'em with the legendary MRRRRR FUUUUUUJJIIIIII's cane. God, that guy is awesome.

And now... The final. In other words... The MAAAAAIN EVENT!

Ted DiBiase vs Randy Savage
Final - WWF Championship

Now, the cool thing about this... was that its pretty much the only Main Event of Wrestlemania I didn't know the result of! Meaning I was actually watching this, not really knowing which way it was going to go. But yeah, best match of the night, this. Pretty much the only match to be given a proper amount of time. Match starts off back and forth, until Savage wants to jump onto DiBiase who's on the outside... but Andre stands in the way. Savage goes to Elizabeth, whispers in her ear, and she buggers off... and brings back Hogan with her!! He sits at ringside... and the match goes on for a bit... until DiBiase locks in the million dollar dream! Andre, for some reason, gets excited, and distracts the referee... and while his back is turned, Hogan smashes DiBiase over the back with a chair! THAT SCOUNDRAL! That cheating scum of the earth! Thats the second act of poor sportsmanship he's shown in one night! For shame Hogan!

Macho Man gets onto the turnbuckle... and hits his elbow drop. 1-2-3. fuggedaboudit, this ones over. Savage wins his first of 2 (ONLY 2?!?) world Heavyweight titles. Great scenes at the end, with Macho, Hogan and Elizabeth celebrating at the end... a real feel good ending, and the birth of The Macho Man as a real powerhouse in wrestling.

Now... I hate to do this, but I'm going to be lying to myself if I gave this any respectable rating. I'm going to go for a terrible, 2/10. It really wasn't very good at all. The card felt waaay too packed, and the matches, for the most part, were below average at best. I certainly wouldn't recommend it... well, perhaps the last fight... especially for fans of Savage. It'd have probably been better had I not known what the Main Event was... but as it stood, it was pretty awful.

 

[Oaf]

GUH. The effort this is taking. No idea how I managed to do it all the first time around!

Just reading through them though (ignoring all of the spelling mistakes and what not), I was just reading that WM one kind of thinking of how cool it'd be to have that sort of thing happen again. This being said, I seemed to shit all over that WM, but I'm sure that the modern roster would make it great.

Anyway, back on with it... onto Wrestlemania V (Shit, I've only done 4 so far? Loads more to go! God damn you for dying, TFF!)

WRESTLEMANIA V
The Mega Powers Explode!

After the great scenes at the end of 'mania 4, and a long time running as the "mega powers" of wrestling, a bitter fued erupts between the Hulkster and The Macho Man, resulting in... AN EXPLOSION at Wrestlemania V!!! OMGZZZ!!

King Haku vs Hercules
I was gutted to see the show opened up by freakin' Hercules. The dude who's managed more consecutive dud Mania matches for me than I thought ever possible. Ugh. Here we go again. Anyway, this Haku bloke... some relation to The Rock, yeah? I know he was the best man at his wedding... so basically, I was 100% behind Haku in this match. So of course, that prick Hercules won it. FECK. What a horrible start to Wrestlemania.
It goes without saying, but the match itself was pretty shite too. I mean, it was a Hercules match, afterall.

The Twin Towers vs The Rockers
I was sure I heard "The Rockers" before... oooooh yeaaah!! Its a tag team with a certain HeartBreak Kid in it. A certain, show stopper...! I had no freakin' idea he was in the WWF this early. It was pretty funny though... he looked so damn young! Big bushy 80's style hair, and his face looked a bit chubby. But my gawd, he was a different class to the rest of the people in the ring. Well, Jannetty was ok. Yeah, so I was looking forward to this... Michaels, who's reknown for stealing the show at Wrestlemania, making his mania debut.
So imagine how gutted I was to see him the one who was pinned, by some fat dude I've never heard the name of. Akeem?! WHO?! That guy gets to pin one of the best of all time, at Wrestlemania? FECK OFF. How depressing. But, at least this was a good match... I mean, it was a Michaels match, afterall.
Oh yeah, Big Bossman was in this as well. Legend

.

Ted Dibiase vs Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
A pretty boring match that dragged on a little too much. And then ended in a double countout... booo. Beefcake didn't even get to cut anyones hair. Not even Virgil's...

The Rougeau Brothers vs The Bushwackers
Holy shit, its the Bushwackers! Nutters! I used to have some toys of these dudes when I was a kid, before I even knew who they were. The match wasn't too great, but it was meant to be a pure comedy thing. The Bushwackers won it, and started licking people left right and center afterwards. Like I said, Nutters!

Mr Perfect vs The Blue Blazer
A quality little match, this was. Who's the Blue Blazer though? I seem to remember that name... so I like him. And of course, I remember Perfect because he was in the WWE not that long ago. But yeah, the best wrestling match so far, Perfect won it with a perfect plex. Deserved as well, he was executing moves brilliantly throughout the match. Perfectly, you might say. For this day and age, someone of his talent was pretty rare.

Demolition © vs Powers of Pain and Mr Fuji
Tag Team Titles
A rarity, this, as the tag team titles were on the line in a 2 vs 3 handicap match. But... Mr Fuji in a match?! YES! The match was pretty poor, with only the few golden moments Fuji got involved keeping me paying attention. Of course, Mr Fuji managed to cock up a leg drop while he was the legal man, so Demolition managed to... well, Demolish him. Demolition retain the titles. They held onto the titles for 2 more months, leading to a 14 month run overall. Unheard of in modern wrestling.

Dino Bravo vs Rugged Ron Garvin
I was watching this 'Mania with a few friends... and we didn't particularly care about this match, so we decided to watch it on 1.5 speed. Rest assured, it made it hilarious. Bravo won it, and then Garvin started stomping on his manager, frenchie martin, much like Randy Orton stomps on people now... targeting each limb individually. Pfft. Orton wannabe.

The Brain Busters vs Strike Force
This match wasn't too bad. It was the reunion of Strike Force (the most generic tag team in the history of tag teams) after a while, as one of them had been out injured. The match was going pretty much as most tag team matches do (ya know, back and forth, then the heel team wails on one of the face team for a while)... with Tito Santana being the one getting his ass kicked. He managed to break free, and went for a hot tag... only for Martel to step away, and refuse the tag!? OMGees. Martal walks out on Santana, leaving him to get his arse kicked and pinned. Strikeforce are finished!

Andre the Giant vs Jack "The Snake" Roberts
Special Guest Referee: Big John Studd

This was worrying for me. I've made my love of Roberts known, and to see him face this beast was pretty bad... as well, ya know, Andre had been unbeaten for 15 years until Hogan toppled him. I don't know how many times he was beaten (if at all) since then... but things didn't look good for the Snake.
Which is why I was overjoyed to see Roberts win it! Albeit, through disqualification. Yeah, a bunch of stuff happened including the Million Dollar Man interfering and shite, and Roberts lobbing his snake at Andre. Poor thing. Andre ran away. It was all pretty messy.

The Hart Foundation vs Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine
Aha, another chance to see The Hitman... and more importantly, HONKY TONK MAN! Two bonafide legends right there. Honky his a "shake, rattle and roll" (basically, a neckbreaker) early... but wierdly doesn't go for the pin. Instead, he tags in Valentine, who tries to lock in a Figure-four, which Hart wriggles free from. Chance to win, gone. Fools.
Match ends when Neidhart manages to grab Jimmy Harts Megahpone, lob it to Bret, and then Bret clobbers Honky (Lol, Honky) with it. CHEATING SCUM! HE WOULD HAVE TO PERFORM SUCH A FILTHY ACT TO BEAT THE LEGEND THAT IS THE HONKY TONK MAN! SCUM! He will never amount to even half of what the Honky is.

Ultimate Warrior © vs "Ravishiving" Rick Rude
Intercontinental Championship
Rick Rude is freakin' hilarious

. I was rooting for him here, as the Warrior seems to be a bit of a douchebag. this match was pretty decent overall. It was let down by some overly long Bear Hugs by the warrior... he locked one in for an eternity, celebrations erupted when Rude broke free... and then he locked in ANOTHER one. Uuuuugh. I was sure that Warrior would win it... I mean, at this time they were building him up to be the next Hogan, and he was in the main event the following year as the IC Champ. So, I was very pleased and suprised to see Rude win it! New Intercontinental champion! And a RAVISHING one, at that!
He managed to score the pin, while Heenan held onto Warriors leg from the outside. So, in return, Warrior did his press slam to Heenan, and went running (of course... does this guy ever walk?!) after Rude.

Bad News Brown vs Jim Duggan
Aaaaagh. After 3 matches in a row that I actually cared about, this comes along to ruin the day. I've come to the conclusion that I hate Duggan. If I were a patrioting American, maybe I wouldn't. But as it stands, he nothing more than irritating. This one ended in a double DQ, and then had a gay little sword fight thing going on, Duggan with his 2X4 (what else?) and Brown with a chair. Blluuugh.

Red Rooster vs Bobby Heenan
Isn't that an energy drink? Yeah, this match doesn't last long. Heenan still feeling the effects of being WARRIOR'd. If he wasn't he'd have taken this kid to school, no doubt. This was pretty pointless, overall.

And now... for the Megapowers... TO GOES ESPLODE!!!!

In the next post because 1FF apparently has a character limit of 10000 words.

 

[Oaf]

THE MAIN EVENT!
Hulk Hogan vs "Macho Man" Randy Savage ©
WWF Heavyweight Championship
There was a massive explosion, and everyone died. The end.

Nah. This was a pretty ma-hoo-sive match. A big fued leading into it. These two were great friends (see; the end of WM4 for proof of friendshipnessnessness.) who formed an unstoppable team... but got torn apart when Savage decided that Hogan was going after his wife, Elizabeth. After a long time fueding, it all came to this. The main event of Wrestlemania V.
For the match itself, Elizabeh decided that she was going to be in both mens corner. What a crock of shit. I know she's friends with them both, but surely if she's there, she should be in the corner of her HUSBAND?! Macho Man was probably right. Hogan was probably doing her behind his back. That dirty man.

But yeah, this was easily the best match of the night. Starts off with some back and forth stuff, and Elizabeth getting involved quite a bit. For example, Savage using her as a shield against Hogan, and her getting in Hogans way when he want to come after him. In the end, the ref sends her to the back, as she's causing too much trouble.

Macho man then later hits Hogan with his axehandle from the top rope, while Hogan is outside leaning on the crowd barrier, causing Hogan to hit his throat on the thing... the very same manouver that caused Steamboat to be out injured for a while, leading up to the match between him and Savage at Mania 3. Savage then goes to work on the throat, and begins to demolish the Hulkster.

He spends some time beating him down... and eventually hits the elbow drop. Its over, right? 1...2... HULK UP!!! WRAAAAAGGHHHH!!!! Hogan no-sells a bunch of punches, before hitting him with 3 of his own, hitting him with the big boot... and the Leg Drop! 1-2-3!!! Hogan wins his second world title! The crowd goes wild! Macho Man is outta there. Hulkamania hits full force, once again.

Overall, another great main event of wrestlemania. The best match of the night, by quite some distance. Purely Hogan and Macho Man at thier best, putting on a fantastic performance. Wrestlemania at its best.

So... this wrestlemania overall. I can't help but notice the general theme for these earlier Mania's. Its as if they make a fantastic main event, and then fill up the rest of the card with as many matches as possible, rather than making sure that they're decent matches. Which, overall, makes the show pretty poor... apart from the main event.

As for the main event itself, I'd probably say it's the best so far. Both men were at thier very best and put on one hell of a show. Other than that though... the IC title fight was alright, and it was cool seeing the likes of Hart and Michaels... but overall, it was, again, pretty poor. WAAAAY too much filler. I'll go for a 5/10. And the Main event makes up 2 of those points on its own.
As far as recommendation goes... overall, nah. However, for anybody with an interest in wrestling at all, its worth seeing the main event. Espcially fans of either Hogan, or the Macho Man. This is them at thier finest.

 

[Cas]

MOAR

 

[mase]

Good read this pal, FYI Blue Blazer is/was the late Owen Hart.

 

[Oaf]

MOAR

I'll probably stick to doing like 5 of these at a time. Takes longer than you'd think... copy and pasting it results in it all being bolded/italic in weird places and the layout of it is all off. Maybe it'd work better if I pasted them into word first or something, but who knows. I'll try that out later.

Good read this pal, FYI Blue Blazer is/was the late Owen Hart.

Yeah, I know now. I wrote these way back in 2009 (over 5 years ago! ) so I do keep reading things that I put that I already know the answer to. Didn't want to/can't be arsed to change them though. I am changing the odd little spelling mistake/typo that I happen to see, but they're mostly unedited.

 

[mase]

I'll probably stick to doing like 5 of these at a time. Takes longer than you'd think... copy and pasting it results in it all being bolded/italic in weird places and the layout of it is all off. Maybe it'd work better if I pasted them into word first or something, but who knows. I'll try that out later.



Yeah, I know now. I wrote these way back in 2009 (over 5 years ago! ) so I do keep reading things that I put that I already know the answer to. Didn't want to/can't be arsed to change them though. I am changing the odd little spelling mistake/typo that I happen to see, but they're mostly unedited.

Ah right, my apologies.

 

[Oaf]

Lets get this shit going again:

Wrestlemania VI
The Ultimate Challenge
Thats right, I'm adding pictures now. The hope for this one was that, finally, the format wouldn't be a MASSIVE main event, with a bunch of filler... but having seen that there were 14 matches on the card, my hopes weren't too high...

Koko B. Ware vs Rick "The Model" Martel
And right away, my question is answered. The show is kicked off with this. I don't know, maybe these two did have a perfectly legitamate reason to be fighting one another, but if there was a reason, it wasn't explained at all/very well. Martel won it with a boston crab... which interestingly makes this the first ever submission victory at Wrestlemania.

Demolition Vs Andre the Giant and Haku ©
Tag Team Championship
Aha, a match with purpose. Tag titles on the line... but wait. Ugh. Aren't Demolition a bit... well... shit? They're just big guys who can't really wrestle all that well. God knows why they enjoyed such success. And yeah, more was to come here... as they managed to get Andre tied up on the ropes, and pin Haku... new Tag Team champions.
Bobby Heenan then went crazy, blaming Andre for the loss... so he slapped him. Andre got payback in the form of headbutts. Get on, you beast.

Hercules vs Earthquake
How much does it say when I say that Earthquake was the more entertaining to watch here? Lots. That being said, he was still pretty terrible. Dreadful match. FILLER. Boooooo!

Brutus Beefcake vs Mr Perfect
This match was ok, but dragged a little. I was pretty impressed with Perfect... and Beefcake seems the be the epitome of "ok". Beefcake managed to win it, meaning that someone was going to get thier hair cut... and this time, it was "Mr Genius", Perfects manager.

Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Bad News Brown
Piper had half of his body painted black for this match... is that to do with the fact that he's fighting a black guy? Corr. Edgy, barring on racism there

. They'd probably not get away with that now... Anyway, Pipers a good entertainer, so this match was alright. He pulled out a very Michael Jackson-esque glove half way through it, and started pummelling on Brown with it. What, did it have a pice of metal inside it or something? Whats the deal? Anyway, these two brawled to the outside, leading to a double countout. Boo. Kind of a downer on what was an OK match.

The Hart Foundation vs The Bolsheviks
Aha, another chance to see Bret Wrestle! Another good thing to look forward too... I watched them enter, with anticipation... and watched the Ruski's enter... and then Hart and Niedhart managed to win it in about 15 seconds. Oh. So much for that then...

The Barbarian vs Tito Santana
It wasn't a bad match (and that's fully due to Santana...), but again, felt like pure filler. The Barbarian won it, unfortunately. Heenan helped a little, sticking his foot on the ropes at various points in the match to break pins and submissions.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire vs Macho King Randy Savage and Queen Sherri
Oh. Freaking. Dear. And thats not too the match. Oh no. The match wasn't too bad. Macho Man, Sherri and Dusty were all good, bordering on great. Sapphire. What the feck? Who is this woman!? I thought that she was some random celebrity, she was that bad. Awful wrestler, who should never have entered the ring. She looked totally unbothered by the whole thing. She didn't belong near a ring, let alone in it.

The Orient Express vs The Rockers
He's still not the heart break kid or the showstopper... but boy, can you see Shawn Michaels potential. This was a decent tag team match... it followed the usual formula of one face getting his ass kicked by a heel... both Michaels and Jannetty had thier turns at it. The match ended when Jannetty chased Fuji around outside the ring, and managed to get salt thrown into his eyes... while he was the legal man. He didn't manage to get back into the ring, so got counted out... and that makes Michaels 'Mania record a 0-2...

.

Its all Jannetty's fault. He ought to kick him through a window, and ditch him. Then he'd reach his potential.

Dino Bravo vs Jim Duggan
I thought that one of the best things about holding this Wrestlemania out of the US, would be that we wouldn't have to see that dickhead Duggan swinging around old glory. I was wrong. He brought it out, swinging it like a madman, getting his ass booed off, when he was meant to be the face. I just didn't get the idea behind this match. The crowd didn't really know who to cheer for (in these days, the crowd didn't just cheer Bravo, the heel, and boo Duggan... like they would do now) and it was overall, more pointless filler. Duggan won. Nobody cared.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs Ted Dibiase ©
Million Dollar Belt
Probably the best match so far. It was back and forth for a bit, Roberts tried a few DDT's but to no avail. It then started to slowly turn into Dibiase on top for the most part... after about 4 minutes of being pummelled, Roberts started fighting back... he signaled for a DDT, but got pulled outside by Virgil. Roberts get angry and starts to beat him up a bit... but gets caught from behind with a Million Dollar Dream. Jake manages to break free by running into a ringpost... and both men are down, with the count still going. Virgil picks up Dibiase and puts him in the ring on the count of 8... and with nobody to help him, Roberts stays outside to get counted out. My GAWD, do a lot of matches end by countout in these days. We get about 1 every couple of months now, if that

.

Roberts manages to hit his DDT after the match... so he doesn't win the battle, but he wins the war.

Big Bossman vs Akeem
I'd have thought that this match would have been deemed "TOO BADASS FOR VIEWING", but here it is. Two of the kings of badass, one on one. Bossman, and the Gang. **** "Akeem". He is, and always will be, the One Man Gang for me now. This was a very short match (of course... had it gone on any longer, it'd have gave everybody in the arena "badass poisoning" and the men would have had thier wives and girlfriends stolen) which Bossman won with his BADASS sidewalk slam.

BADASS. Seriously, go Listen to the Bossman's music, and then worship him for fear of him rising from the grave and kicking your ass.

"Ravishing" Rick Rude vs Jimmy Snuka
Whoa, Jimmy Snuka only looked old in this, as opposed to fossilized. I just assumed he always looked like a million years old. Cool. Unfortunately, his "youth" wasn't enough to see off Rude's outstanding levels of Ravish. He got hit with a Rude Awakening, and that was that. This match was pretty ok... if a little short. Next up... the Ultimate Challenge!

 

[Oaf]

Main event in a separate post again as 1FF doesn't like posts over 10k words...

Main Event
Ultimate Warrior VS Hulk Hogan
Intercontinental Championship - World Heavyweight Championship - Title for Title.
When people talk about a "main event of Wrestlemania" quality match, this is the exact sort of reason why. Good GOD, what a showcase. It just told a fantastic story throughout the match, and kept me on the edge of my seat for its 20 or so minutes... well, for most of it at least.
It started off with both men shoving each other, testing their strength... and then they had one of those kick ass tests of strength... which I guess was even cooler back then, as it had possibly not been done before. I dunno. Not at WM at least. The Warrior brought Hogan to his knees! It was the first time Hogan had ever been overpowered... and then Hogan managed to get Warrior to his knees! Gripping stuff. They then began criss cross one another, with Hogan ending up slamming the Warrior... who got right up! Hogan looks shocked, and they go for it again... this time, Warrior slams Hogan, who actually seems hurt by it! Warrior then clotheslines Hogan to the outside... who seems to injure his leg.
This give the audience a bit of breathing time, having had several minutes of awesomeness. Warrior eventually brings Hogan back and starts work on the leg... the match then starts to go back and forth a little... and is kind of slowed down by some slightly too long held Chinlocks and Bear Hugs (The Bearhug strikes again!)... But yeah, other than that, the middle is just pure back and forth action. Great stuff. After a bit, Warrior hits... the Gorilla press slam! He then hits a slash... goes for the pin... 1... 2... HULK UP! Hogan goes crazy, and does the usual, 3 punches, big boot... but misses the leg drop! Warrior take advantage and hits another splash... and gets him! What an ending, so full of energy and emotion. Hogan then presents the belt to Warrior, a fantastic little touch, and the cherry on top of this fantastic match. This match is probably my favorite match I've seen since I've started this "marathon".

So... overall then. Again... it felt a bit like a one match show. There were a few ok matches here and there, but far too much filler. They don't seem to have grasped that what they need to be doing is to cut down on the number of matches, cutting out the crap, and extend the length of some of the good stuff they have. So, despite the awesome main event, I'm only going to give this one a 6/10. Perhaps controversial... as this is sometimes seen as one of the best Mania's...

As far as recomendation goes, its simple. 13 of the 14 matchs, nah. They don't need a looking. Nothing special. As for the other one... if you've ever had any interest in wrestling at all, you need to see it. Its about as good as wrestling gets. And it'll probably go down as one of the best matches of all time.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania VII
Superstars and Stripes

*CRINGE*. Worst tagline so far? You betcha. Anyway, no Jesse Ventura for this one

. Its a shame, because I thought we was a fantastic heel commentator. Instead, we are given Jim Duggan, Alfred Hayes and Bobby Heenan at different points throughout. I've made my feelings about Hayes and Duggan known... but Heenan was a more than adequate replacement for Ventura. Brilliantly entertaining, funny and a great heel commentator.

The Rockers vs Haku and Barbarian
Aha kicking things off with The Rockers. That's a good start. This was a good tag team bout, of course mainly due to the performances of Michaels and Jannetty. They even hit a double super-kick at one point... which is the first time I'd seen Michaels hit some form of Sweet Chin Music... he's slowly transforming into the Heart Break Kid we all know and love! The Rockers worked pretty fantastically as a team, far better than any teams in the 'E nowdays. Michaels managed to score the win with a cross-body on Haku. Great way to kick things off.

The Texas Tornado vs Dino Bravo
Ah, what a shame. Things started off so well... and then comes the filler. The Texas tornado was Kerry Von Erich... I'd heard alot about the Von Erichs, but had never seen any of them wrestle. This match didn't do much... he managed to win, but I just don't find myself caring about Bravo.

The Warlord vs Davey Boy Smith
Aha! After two years missing out at mania's, we get to see the British Bulldog... and, as a singles wrestler this time. He was pretty awesome. Warlord... not so much. Well, he was alright I guess. I'll give him credit when its due. This was actually an entertaining back and forth match, The British Bulldog managed to win it as well... which made it that much better. He managed to lift up the big guy and hit him with a powerslam for the 1-2-3. Rule Britainia!

The Hart Foundation © vs The Nasty Boys
Tag Team Championships
First off, these Nasty Boys are hilarious

. They look like actual pricks, so the WWE managed to do a good job on setting their characters right. This match was, again, a decent bout. Bret Hart spent a long time in it being turned to goo... and there was a great moment when he managed to get a hot tag, only for the referee to not see it.

The Hart Foundation manage to hit a Hart Attack, but the ref gets distracted instead of counting for the pin... in the meantime, one of the Nasty Boys (I don't know thier names... shoot me.) gets ahold of a Biker Helmet and clobbers Niedhart with it... and drags his partner on top of him. The Nasty Boys pull off a shock victory.

A great Tag Team match, with a good ending. Wow, thats 3 matches out of 4 so far that have been decent... Wrestlemania is clearly reaching a new standard.

Jake "The Snake" vs Rick Martel
Blindfold Match
In the lead up to this, Martel blinded Roberts for a bit... so they decided that they were going to have a blindfold match. Makes sense... Roberts seems to be regarded as one of the best ring psychologists of this time, so this match suited him. There was a tad too much "trying to find each other"... most of the match was just both men stood around with thier arms out. There were some cool moments when Roberts would sweep his pointing finger across the ring, and the crowd went wild when he pointed at Martel... in order to find him. I'll take this moment to say; the crowd for this WM have been the best yet. Absolutely electric.
Roberts managed to get a DDT in at the end, and win it. This was slightly entertaining... but went of a bit too long. There was only so much arm waving around I could watch before it started to get a little much...

The Undertaker vs Jimmy Snuka

OH SNAP!

Before this match, Snuka was known as "The Phenom". We all know who the phenom is now. Taker dominated this match. He spent a while pummeling Snuka... including use of his big flying clothesline thing he does, which we're used to now, but looked so out of place at the time... in a good way. Taker managed to catch Snuka mid-air, and turn it into a Tombstone. FUGEDDABOUTIT. 1 Wrestlemania down... 1-0.

This mania, baring one filler match, has managed to be constantly entertaining thus far. All it needed was one classic, which wasn't the main event....

"Macho King" Randy Savage vs Ultimate Warrior
Retirement match
And here it was! What. A. Match. This was, hands down, one of the best matches I've seen at a Wrestlemania thus far. The Warrior is like John Cena... he has his critics, but damned if he can't put on a heck of a show in a big match situation. And Savage... well, barring the last Mania (which wasn't his fault) he's been great at every one so far... but this may have been his finest day.
There was a decent feud going into this... Savage cost Warrior his World Title at the Royal Rumble... and things got so bad between these guys, they decided to make this match a retirement match. Obviously we know now, that this wasn't going to be the end of either of these two... which made this match that much better for me, I had no idea which way it was going to go.

This match had it all though. A great story told throughout... at one point Macho Man hit Warrior with 5 elbow drops in a row, and Warrior kicked out. Surely has to be considered the greatest kick out of all time?!

If anything, it was too good... I don't think I'll ever see Savage hit that elbow with quite the same force it had, again. But Savage also managed to kick out of Warriors Press Slam and Splash... this was a classic, all over.

Well... apart from the ending, I felt. Warrior just hit Savage with a jumping shoulder block which knocked him out of the ring, so he brought him back in... and did the same again... he then brought him back in, put his foot on him, and got the pin. I guess it was meant to show that Savage was basically dead, by the time it ended. It kinda worked... I guess.

So yeah, 20 minutes of brilliance. And then there was more... Sherri, who was with Savage, got in the ring and started to beat on him. Then... Elizabeth ran out of the crowd, and got rid of her! This was the first interaction between Macho Man and Elizabeth in quite a while... and the scenes were brilliantly emotional. The cherry on top being when Savage opened the ropes to let Elizabeth out of the ring... after so many years of it happening the other way round. Suddenly, Macho Man was getting a massive reception from the crowd. It was one of those matches where throughout it, a man managed to turn himself from a hated heel, to a beloved face. Legendary stuff. Anybody who watches wrestling needs to see this match.

Demolition vs Tenryu and Kitao

And after that pure brilliance, came this dog turd. This was purely to promote some WWF vs... Japan... thing. Or something. Crap match. Further proof of Demolition's level of SUCK. Oh well. Something had to be after the previous match, so its better that its something that was always going to be crap anyway.

Mr Perfect vs Big Bossman
Intercontinental Championship

This was all to do with the badass that was the Big Bossman tearing through Bobby Heenan's "family"... with the last one left standing being the IC champion, Mr Perfect. I'll take this time to mention who fueds have become more apparent now... they're begining to become a bigger part of wrestling at this stage, and so the filler is being killed off slowly. This was a decent match, where you could feel the rivallry between both men... best shown by Bossman's use of his belt, and then Perfects use of it afterwards.
It was all good, until Haku and Barbarian turned up and started beating on Bossman... so he won via DQ. Andre the Giant then got involved, and helped Bossman clear house. It was a case of no new badass IC champion... but, he had won the war, overall.

Earthquake vs Greg Valentine

My god, is Earthquake shite. Terrible match... which was a rarity for this 'Mania, for once.

The Legion of Doom vs Power and Glory
Match which was purely there to show off how great the Legion of Doom were. They won it in about a minute with a doomsday device.

Ted Dibiase vs Virgil (w/ Roddy Piper)
Again, another match with a decent feud leading to it... after about 4 years of being Dibiase's bitch, Piper managed to edge him on, until he decided that he wanted to be his bitch no more. This match was... alright, and ended when Dibiase started beating on Piper on the outside (who had a leg injury...)... and forgot about the count, so got counted out. The first countout of the event, may I add... could they finally be dying down?!

The Mountie vs Tito Santana
I'd seen the Mountie before, and I remembered thinking he was shit. This match lasted about a minute and a half. Mountie won. Nobody cared.

 

[Oaf]

Sgt Slaughter vs Hulk Hogan
WWF World Heavyweight Championship
Gah. I can't help but feel that this would have been better... if I was a patriotic American. I'm not. I'm from PLIMUFF. I couldn't really give a damn about Slaughter defecting to Iraq, or whatever he did... but, at least this was USA Bullshit WITHOUT Duggan getting involved.
That being said, the match itself was great. It was a more aggressive Hogan than ever (He's fighting for the USA, ain't he?!) and he really took it to Slaughter. This match started a bit back and forth... and then went to a pure Hogan demolishing Slaughter match... until Slaughter hit Hogan with a chair a few time, right infront of the ref... inexplicibly not being disqualified... It then turned into Slaughter demolishing Hogan... he bust him open, Camel Clutched him, the lot... in the end, he went for a pinfall, while laying an Iraq flag over Hogan... Hogan Hulked up!... and ripped the flag, spitting in the face of any possible Iraqi Hulkamaniacs in the process...
And yeah. You can probably guess the rest. Big boot, leg drop, pin.... 3 time WWF champion... and WHOLE BUNCH of USA! USA! USA! cringeworthy stuff. But, a decent match.

So... well, well, well. FINALLY. The old format seemed to be "superb main event - feck the rest"... now it was more a case of "Ok main event - but make the rest good as well". This 'mania marked quite a transition for the show... it went from basically being a one match show, to being a great card overall. This is the most I've enjoyed watching a Wrestlemania since I've started this thing, even if the main event, while decent, wasn't half as good as the previous ones. All in all, its a trade-off I'm happy to see.
I was just great that they seemed to "get it" this time. There were very few pointles matches, and the ones that were there didn't last too long... giving more time for the decent matched. Of the 14 matches, only 5 of them are really duds... which is an ok ratio. Especially when you consider a gem is in there, like the retirement match. I'll give the event a 8/10 overall. And about 2 of those points are earned by Savage and Warrior's epic battle.
I'd probably reccomend this Wrestlemania all in all... but I'd go out of my way to urge every single wrestling fan out there to take a look at Savage and Warriors classic.

 

[Oaf]

After that WM was when I started all of the stuff where I kept all of the info together. I'll just add an updated version every couple of WM's this time, no point clogging up each post with it, especially with this 10k word limit.

Wrestlemania: 5/10
WM II: 6/10
WM III: 6/10
WM IV: 2/10
WM V: 5/10
WM VI: 6/10
WM VII: 8/10

So, it seems to slowly be getting better, as they realise that its worth making the whole event great, as opposed to just the main event. Standout/recommended matches thus far are:

WM II: King Kong Bundy vs Hulk Hogan (If only to see Hulkamania running wild)
WM III: Randy Savage vs Ricky Steamboat*
WM III: Andre vs Hulk Hogan
WM IV: Randy Savage vs Ted Dibiase
WM V: Randy Savage vs Hulk Hogan
WM VI: Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior*
WM VII: Randy Savage vs Ultimate Warrior*

* Indicates highly recommended viewing. I'm going to be updating this list after watching every Mania from now on. And it'll give us a chance to see who gains the crown of... Oaf's greatest Wrestlemania performer of all time! It'll be a little game I'll be running from now on... I'll give each wrestler a point for an appearance, and 2 points for gaining an "highly recommended" rating. So at the moment, we have:

Randy Savage: 6
Hulk Hogan: 5
Ultimate Warrior: 4
Ricky Steamboat: 2
Andre the Giant: 1
Ted Dibiase: 1
King Kong Bundy: 1

So yeah, that could be something that is interesting to watch. Savage deservidly leads at the moment... now to watch Wrestlemania VIII! Although I remembered recently... I have actually seen this one before. I borrowed it on video from a mate... anyway, should be fun. I'll probably do a review tomorrow...

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania VIII
The Macho/Flair affair

Otherwise known as the "why isn't Hogan fighting Flair?!" Wrestlemania. Only 9 fights this time... which I feel is about right. They're getting the hang of it!

Tito Santana vs Shawn Michaels
And finally, he arrives at Wrestlemania. The showstopper! The Heart Break kid! This is now Shawn Michaels comming into his own... his first Wrestlemania as a singles performer, and his talent is clear to see. Santana on the other hand is sporting some matador stuff... how very stereotypical.

I enjoyed this match, if only for the fact that I was seeing Michaels as "HBK". It was a great way to kick off the show. Michaels managed to win it as well, which made it that much sweeter. Not that I have any problems with Santana, he's been one of the best from the first bunch of Wrestlemania's. All in all, a great start that got me in the mood.

Jake Roberts vs The Undertaker
Jake is usually pretty dominating in his matches... so to see him being dominated was a bit different, and showed how awesome The Undertaker was. Roberts fought back a few times, but ultimately wasn't enough for the phenom... and found himself being tombstoned on the outside of the ring. I've gotta say... it wasn't a very good tombstone either. Roberts head went nowhere near the floor...

He's gotten better at that move over the years...

But yeah, Taker rolled Roberts into the ring, and it was over. Taker claims victory number 2... 2-0.

Rowdy Roddy Piper © vs Bret Hart
Intercontinental Championship
What a match. This is the first time I had seen Hart as a singles competitor... ever. Its pretty cool that this was the first mania' for Hart and Michaels as singles competitors... but yeah, onto the match. Great stuff. This was a face vs face match for the IC belt... Piper had known Hart since he was a kid... this match seemed to have a great theme going on, where you could see that these two were desperate to win it, were getting pretty pissed off with one another... yet, underneath, had a mutual respect and love for one another. It gave the match a fantastic narrative.
This was best shown at the end of the match... where the ref took a bump, and Piper went outside to fetch the ringbell, and brought it in... he held it up to clobber a defenseless Hart... but couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to beat him fairly... so locked in a sleeper hold instead... to which Hart manages to counter by running up the turnbuckles and falling backwards, to turn it into a roll up pin, to win the match. Piper then awards Hart the title... putting the cherry on top.
All in all, this is a fantastic match, with great chemistry and a nice ending. Probably one of the best I've ever seen for the IC title... and it makes it onto my standout matches thing.

Big Bossman, Virgil, Sgt. Slaughter & Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Nasty Boys, The Mountie & Repo Man
Ah, such a shame. Here I was thinking that it was going to be a Wrestlemania void of any pointless crud. And whats the deal with Slaughter anyway? I found it strange how he had never been in a Wrestlemania before... then made it into the main event for his first one as the champion. Did he ever win the belt again, or were those 3 months or so it for him? This match about showed how far down the pecking order he had fell.Oh and Duggan was in it. UUUgh. About the one saving grace was the ultimate badass, the Big Bossman, making his presense felt. Virgil managed to score the win... and then we got to get on with the good stuff again.

MAIN EVENT! (Number 1...)
Randy Savage vs Ric Flair © (w/Mr Perfect)
WWF World Heavyweight Championship
For its time, this had a great feud leading to it. Flair came straight into the WWF and made an instant impact, becoming the top heel and winning the title within a few months, by winning the royal rumble after entering 3rd. Macho Man was named number 1 contender... and then the mindgames began. Allegations from Flair about Elizabeth... promising revealing photos upon his victory.
And straight off of the bat, this went crazy. Savage chased Flair down while he was entering, and the fight began up the entrance ramp, with Savage going nuts on Flair. Mr Perfect then got involved, and beat up Savage a bit... which of course, didn't result in a DQ, seeing as the match hadn't started yet.
Savage was eventually rolled into the ring, and the match began. And a match, it was! This was great stuff from both men. It went back and forth a bit, with some great kickouts... Savage hit the elbow, and may have had it won, but Perfect came into the ring and pulled Savage off of Flair. Savage then chases Perfect... and it all results in the ref taking a bump and being distracted by Perfect, while Flair gets ahold of some brass knuckles, and hits Savage in the face with them. He trieds a pin... but Savage kicks out. Flair goes crazy and starts moaning and distracting the referee... while Perfect hits Savage in the Knee with a chair. And so, begins Flair going to school on Savage's leg... with a figure 4 leglock obviously being the endgame plan... which he locks in! Savage is in it for a while... but manages to reverse the move in the end. Once he lets go, both men have had a lot taken out of them... Flair goes to punch Savage, who dodges and rolls Flair up, while holding the tights... and he gets the win! Savage wins his second WWF championship, and the crowd go NUTS.
After the match, Flair kisses Elizabeth... and gets the hell slapped out of him as a result... Savage also takes a bit of a beating, until people come out and manage to get rid of Flair and Perfect.
All in all, a superb match. Really showed both men at thier best... and why Flair is considered the dirtiest player in the game. The amount of cheating in this match by Flair and Perfect was unheard of until this point. This match makes my standout matches list... just missing off of a star.... it may have got it, had it been the last fight of the night... and if I didn't spend the match wondering why Hogan wasn't there instead of Savage. Granted this match was probably better for the match itself... but the sheer star power of Hogan/Flair would have made it an instant classic.
That being said, this was still defiantly a classic... great stuff. Savage has managed to be entertaining every time I've seen him now. Throughout watching these Wrestlemania's, he has actually become one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. He is simply phenominal.

Tatanka vs Rick Martel
Pointless. Crap. After the last match, I really couldn't give a damn about this.

The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc ©
Tag Team Titles
Ugh. How did the WWF not realise how terrible the natural disasters were? This match was pretty poor really... I guess it is asking a bit much of anyone to get a good match out of those two lumps of lard. It had a shite finish too, with Money Inc getting themselves counted out, to lose the match but retain the titles.

Owen Hart vs Skinner
Another pointless match... Skinner kicked Owens ass, but got rolled up and pinned. The match lasted about a minute... and what was Owen wearing?

. Pretty dissapointing, as I was looking forward to seeing Owen wrestle as Owen Hart...

Main Event (Number 2...)
Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice
Without doubt, the worst main event of a wrestlemania so far. In fact, its the only one to be anything less than entertaining. I saw nothing in Sid Justice to justify (oh snap!) him being in the last fight as Wrestlemania, he was pretty shite. Hogan did about the best he could... but I just didn't care for this match, ultimately. Justice's manager got into the ring after Justice kicked out of a legdrop... and the ref just DQ'ed Justice... even though the manager didn't really do anything. Terrible end.
Hogan then started getting beaten up, and The Ultimate Warrior came out to save him... and they celebrated as the show ended.


I'll come right off of the bat and ask the questions: Why was Hogan/Justice the last fight of the event?! Why the hell isn't Flair fighting Hogan?!... and then, Savage could have fought Justice... and he may have actually been able to get a decent match out of him.
Oh well. Still, we managed to get two great matches out of this Wrestlemania, in Piper/Hart and Flair/Savage. I'll give this one a 6/10 in the end... It was strange really... it started off very strong, and hit its peak at Flair/Savage... had it stayed that quality throughout, it'd have porbably been a 9/10. Its just a shame that after the WWF title fight, it turned to dog poo.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania IX
An Event of Epic Proportions

Its JR’s WWF debut! Its wierd... I never knew he was just thrown into the WWF like that, on the grandest stage of them all. Shows the faith they had in him as an announcer... faith placed very well, as he is now considered by many (including myself) to be the greatest commentator of all time.

The opening ceremony was pretty cool I thought... they had an elephant, Macho Man being carried out, and Bobby Heenan coming out on a camel backwards

. But wait... Macho Man’s commenating?! He doesn’t have a match?! Oh dear...

Shawn Michaels © vs Tatanka
WWF Intercontinental Championship

Aha, here we go. Kicking things off with a Michaels fight, and a title fight, in one! Great performance from Michaels... he’d been impressive at every Wrestlemania he’d been in thus far, but this was probably his best performance yet. Tatanka was... well, not great... but this was the first real time Michaels ability of get a great match out of anyone was shown. Michaels carried him all the way through this, and made it pretty damned entertaining as a result.

The end was a bit stupid though... Michaels pulled the referee out of the ring due to frustration... and went into the ring, and got hit with... Tatanka’s finishing move, whatever its called. Tatanka then got in the pin... the ref got down... but then decided to disqualify Michaels. How fuggin’ stupid is that? And then, to put the cherry on top of the stupidity, Finkus Maximus (

) says that Tatanka has won as a result of a countout... whoops.

Good match, slightly ruined by the sloppy ending.

The Steiner Brothers vs The Headshrinkers

Big Poppa Pump! I remember when he came back into the WWE a few years back... I thought he was pretty "meh". He was better here though... but my interest in him faded when it dawned on me that Fatu, of the Headshrinkers, was RIKISHI! LEGEND!

This match could have been much better had he did a stinkface. As it stood, it was just a standard tag match, with nothing really special going for it. In the end, this was just another excuse for me to use that dreaded word again... filler.

Doink the Clown vs Crush

Doink the clown! This match wasn’t great, but of course had the famous ending where another Doink came out and twatted Crush with a fake arm. The only thing better than one Doink the Clown...? Two Doink the Clown’s!

Razor Ramon vs Bob Backlund

Christ, I remember that name... Bob Backlund He was one of the first WWF champions, wasn’t he? Or had it for a long time at least, yeah? Anyway, this match was pretty much just there to put Ramon over. He pretty much dominated it, and it was over fast with him picking up the victory.

Money Inc © vs Brutus Beefcake and Hulk Hogan (THE MEGAMANIACS!)
WWF Tag Team Championship

The build up to this was something to do with Brutus having his face broken by Money Inc... and Hogan was also “beaten up” by then as well, so was sporting a nasty looking black eye for this one. I’ve looked it up, and apparently the true cause of that black eye was never revealed...

This match had plenty of star power, and wasn’t too bad really. Again though, a stupid ending, when the ref takes a bump, so Hogan clocks Money inc with Beefcakes metallic face mask.... for a “good guy”, he seems to cheat an awful lot, it must be said.

So yeah, theres some controversy, Jimmy Hart runs in and flips his jacket over, revealing a referee design on the inside... which makes him somehow think he’s an official? Fool. He counts the pinfall, and the Megamaniacs celebrate... and then another ref comes out and DQ’s them, rightfully so. We’re then treated to a ****ing decade of posing, even though they got caught cheating, and lost. Makes sense...

Lex Luger vs Mr. Perfect

Another pointless feeling match, purely there to make up the numbers and buy a little more time for the event in whole. Luger won it, but Perfect was all over the ropes when he was pinned. The only message this got across was that the ref is blind, or something.

Undertaker vs Giant Gonzales

Isn’t this seen as one of the worst matches in Wrestlemania history? If so, I’d consider that fully justified. What a mess. How freakin’ big was that Gonzales though?! I wikipedia’d him, had him at 7ft 4”. Mahoosive. His choice of ringwear was... somewhat nauseating, however.

So yeah, ugly match, taker won it via DQ when Gonzales put him to sleep with chloroform. Oh good, so I wasn’t the only one falling to sleep then...

Oh well, here's something to wake me up... the main event!

Main Event
Bret Hart © vs Yokozuna
WWF World Heavyweight Championship

At last, for the first time since the opening, a match that was more than average. Yokozuna was pretty dominating, and Bret played this match well. Toward the end, the turnbuckle was exposed, and Yokozuna managed to run himself into it... giving Hart the chance to lock in the sharpshooter! He had it locked in for a while... and Mr Fuji threw some salt into Hart’s eyes... Hart falls over, and manages to get himself pinned... I’m not quite sure how salt in the eyes is supposed to make you weary enough to lose a match, but feck it.

Main Event... Another one...
Hulk Hogan vs Yokozuna ©
WWF World Heavyweight Championship

A joke of a match. Fuji tries to throw salt into Hogan’s eyes, but misses and catchs Yokozuna instead... who then gets hit with a big boot and leg drop. Lasted about 20 seconds. It made no sense at all really... it felt like it happened just so that Hulk Hogan could have the title. Possibly the worst end to a Wrestlemania thus far.

Gah. What went wrong? Wrestlemania was just starting to pick up on quality... then this one happened. Not a single match that I'd consider a must watch, or anything near it. A bunch of sloppy endings... I mean, only two matches ended cleanly, the Tag Team match, and Ramon beating Backlund... so, in total, one clean face win. Poor stuff.

So, overall this'll have to be stuck with a 1/10. It was really that bad, and I can't picture a Wrestlemania getting much worse than this. Not a single recommendation.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania X
10 years in the making

Whoa, a whole new feel to it this year. Back in MSG, but with a more familiar looking black flooring around the ring outside... its beginning to transition into a more modern time. Also, two commentators making their Wrestlemania debut: Vince Mcmahon and Jerry Lawler. I was always a fan of Lawler... but I have to admit, on the back of Heenan and Ventura, Lawler is actually a pretty poor commentator in comparison. Anyway, lets get on with it!

Owen Hart vs Bret Hart

Holy feck, what a way to kick things off. Already, we have a match multiple times better than anything WM IX could offer. These two put on a heck of a show, they had great chemistry and made for around 20 minutes of constant entertainment, without wasting a second.

The match was very back and forth, with both men taking the advantages, sharpshooters back and forth, the lot. I’d heard a lot about how good this match was supposed to be, and it lived up to it I think. It’ll probably always go down as the best brother vs brother match in history, and rightfully so.

I loved the ending as well. Bret tries a victory roll on Owen, but Owen counters it fantastically, putting on the brakes and turning it into a pin of his own, and manages to grab the 3 count. It was the best possible way for it to end, I felt... it managed to give Owen the win, which was important as he needed it more than Bret, and managed to give it to him cleanly as well, to help to keep in with the whole “I’m a better wrestler” thing. I mean, it would of been pretty stupid if he had cheated, within the context of the feud. Best start to a Wrestlemania thus far, and this makes my recommended watching list... and yeah, it gets a star.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna vs Doink and Dink

More Midget BS. What a let down, after the previous match. Bigelow managed to get the win, but I couldn’t really give a damn

Randy Savage vs Crush
Falls count anywhere

This match scared the heck out of me, at first. Savage got rid in Crush’s face, and attacked him on the entrance ramp... but Crush managed to get the advantage, and score a pin on Savage in about a minute. I’m thinking: WTF. The great Randy Savage owned by some crappy Crush guy? I was livid... then, I found out about the stupid “60 second” rule. Apparently, in these days, a falls count anywhere match meant that you had to pin them outside of the ring, and they then have 60 seconds to return to the ring... o...k...

Its a shame, because I always thought that Savage could carry anybody into a great match... unfortunately, asking for him to do it with this Crush guy was a bit much. Crush was awful... instead, this match was only “ok”... but it’s probably the worst Savage match at a Wrestlemania. Such a shame, especially seeing as he missed out on a match the previous year.

But yeah, Savage managed to get the win after he pinned Crush some place backstage, and tied his feet up... at least there's one good thing to come from the match.

Alundra Blaze © vs Leilani Kai
WWF Womens Title

Yeah, I skipped it. Blaze won... next...

The Quebecers © vs Men On a Mission
WWF Tag Team Championship

Uuugh. The Quebecers. Just more of that “we’re Canadian, so we’re heels” bullshit. But wait... isn’t one of those MoM Viscera?!

I was rooting for them.. but the Quebecers got themselves counted out... so they won, but didn’t get the titles.

Main Event
Yokozuna © vs Lex Luger
WWF Heavyweight Championship – Special Referee: Mr Perfect

Theres been a bit of Luger discussion in this thread recently... and based on this match, I’m going to put myself into the anti-Luger camp. He didn’t seem anything special at all... of course, this is the only time I’ve really seen him, so my view on him isn’t all that valid.

But yeah, this match was pretty poor to be honest... most of it was just Yokozuna locking in a nerve hold. As in, about 50% of this 15 minute match... it was a snorefest.

Luger hit his forearm thingy, and then pulled Fuji and Cornette into the ring, after they jumped up on the ring apron ... and then went for the pin.

But Perfect, who had been recently fueding with Luger, decided to not count the pin, and to check on the managers instead... so Luger gets annoyed, and pushed Perfect... who then DQ’s him. Yokozuna wins... and to be honest, I’m just happy its over.

Earthquake vs Adam Bomb

Pointless. Earthquake won it in about 30 seconds. Next.

Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Championship – Ladder Match

This is the ladder match. Its often touted as the first... which isn’t technically true. This was, however, the first great ladder match. And a large part of that is due to Michaels talent and innovation. He was, as always, simply outstanding. In the first few Wrestlemania’s he was in, he was a class above the rest... in the last one, he managed to put on a superb performance... this, however, was his first Wrestlemania “show stealer” performance. By comparisons to today’s standards of ladder matches, this match wasn’t all that to be honest (more on this later)... however, for its time, this must have been mind-blowing. The bumps Michaels took in this match were unlike anything seen before. I feel that I’m not really doing Ramon justice here... he was pretty good as well. Plus, he did pick up the victory, which is something people sometimes seem to forget.

Back to the issue of comparing it to todays ladder matches... I’ve always felt that the formula for a Ladder match seems to be: Both men fight, the ladder gets involved, and then begins a bunch of big bumps, followed by both men being down for a while. This followed that formula... which leads to a lot of moments of waiting for them being able to stand again. That seems to not really be the case anymore... as we rarely see a 1 vs 1 ladder match, and more often then not we see the likes of these MITB matchs, with up to 6 or 8 guys in it, leading to less moments of waiting... so in comparison, this match was a little slower paced then I’m used to a ladder match being.

That being said, this was still fantastic. And, for a ladder match, the pace was actually pretty frantic, still. It was about as good as a 1 vs 1 ladder match gets, and deserves massive respect for its innovation, and bringing the ladder match to the next level... in fact, I’d say that it helped to bring wrestling in general to the next level. It seemed to be a clear landmark in going from the old school wrestling ways, to a more highflying, technical, hardcore, innovative style that we see today. And for that, not only does this match make my recommended list, but I’m going to give it a star. Thats two in one night... !

Main Event
Yokozuna © vs Bret Hart
WWF Heavyweight Championship – Special Referee: Rowdy Roddy Piper

Yokozuna starts very aggressively, attacking Hart before he knows what hits him, and biting his nose. Bret fights back a bit, but can’t knock the big guy down... then begins the beating. Yokozuna spends a lot of this match beating on Hart, with Hart only managing fleeting attacks here and there... thankfully, there wasn’t any nerve holding this time around though. Yokozuna manages to set Hart up for his Bonsai drop... but slips on the rope, and falls backwards, hitting his head on the mat. Hart covers... and he gets him!

A strange ending to the match I felt... but the following scenes were great. A bunch of faces came out to congratulate Bret on his win, and celebration ensues. And then... Owen Hart appears. He’s invited into the ring... but just stands outside shaking his head. In the end, he retreats, leaving Bret with mixed emotions... he’s won the title, but his brother is still being a prick. I thought that this was the perfect way to end it... the celebrations made for a classic Wrestlemania moment, and the fact that Owen didn’t get involved showed a new level of maturity from the WWF... a couple of years ago, he’d have been in there and we’d have had one big soppy reunion.

All in all, great stuff. The whole deal with Bret Hart was well played... this will surely go down as one of the most mixed, emotionally, nights for any wrestler in history. He had to fight, and lose, to his brother... but managed to win his 2nd (am I right here...?) WWF title and have a great celebration at the end. Plus, of course, the ladder match was fantastic. Two fantastic matches in one night was a great thing to behold... but, other than those two and a decent main event, the rest ranged from rubbish to just “ok”... It was just a great start, a crap middle, and a great end. However, I’ll still give this one an 8/10 overall. That feels perhaps a bit too high for a show with a fair bit of crap, but when it shone, it really shone, and it helped to make this one of the best Wrestlemania's yet. Highly recommended viewing. More than made up for last year.

All of this being considered, its even more incredible when you think about the real lack of star power the WWF has as this stage. I mean, Hart, Yokozuna, Savage and Michaels are about the only people in this Wrestlemania who ever really made anything great of thier careers. The rest of the roster is pretty poor, overall. Kudo's, WWF.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania XI
If this Wrestlemania had a tag line, Wikipedia didn't have it... so blame them. Feck it, I'll give it me own tagline...:
Just when you thought Wrestlemania was picking it up... they dropped another dog turd.

I forgot to add a poster... bugh. Not worth it...

Lex Luger and British Bulldog vs The Blu Brothers

First off, I can’t believe I haven’t said this yet: How big is Luger’s forehead?! Seriously, you could land a freakin’ fighter jet on that slab of meat. That aside, it was good to see the British Bulldog again. He seemed to be in some “allied powers” tag team with Luger... with him representing Britain, and Luger being Mr America. Meh, it worked. And this allied power was enough to see them to victory here. It was a pretty stale match really... but then again, it was hardly going to be as good as last years opener, was it?

Jeff Jarrett © vs Razor
Intercontinental Championship

This match was alright, to be fair. Ramon had the 1-2-3 Kid with him (or, to people like me who came in later... X PAC!) and Jarrett had Road Dogg with him... or, the Roadie, as he was known. Ruined by the ending though... Ramon was about to hit a Razors edge, and Road Dogg ran in from behind and clipped his leg... resulting in a DQ. Ramon’s been ok at these Wrestlemania’s thus far... which is cool, considering I was never too fond of him when he came back to the WWE in the NWO.

The Undertaker vs King Kong Bundy

Who was it who said that Taker got some real dud matches at Wrestlemania in the early 90’s...? You sir, got the nail on the head. What the frick was this? Sure, it wasn’t as bad as the Taker/Gonzales match a few years back, but JEEEEZ. We’re talking serious levels of suck right here people.

The Smokin’ Gunns © vs Owen Hart and Yokozuna
WWF Tag Team Championships

OH MAH GAWD, its Billy Gunn! To me, he'll always be Billy from Billy and Chuck...

I was rooting for Owen and Yoko here though... Yokozuna seems ok for a big dude, and Owen Hart deserved it after his great match last time out. Thankfully, my hopes were fulfilled. Billy’s tag team partner got himself squished with a Bonsai drop, and Owen pinned him.

Bret Hart vs Bob Backlund
I Quit Match – Special Guest Referee: Roddy Piper

OHO! Here we go. Something to really get into... Bret and Bob (lols) are both decent... and the way they’re talking about this makes it sound as if its the first ever I Quit match... is this true? This was a guaranteed success, right?

No. Not really. This was utterly disappointing... it was just full of long, drawn out submissions hold. Theres two types of submissions... exciting ones, like when Hart or The Rock lock in a sharpshooter, or Flair locks in a figure 4... and there are BOOOORING ones... just generic holds that are never going to end a match, and just end up wasting a few minutes of everyones time, while the wrestlers take a breather.

This match seemed to be a constant breather... I know Backlund was getting old, but Jesus. This match just kind of fizzled out, with Backlund saying... well, “YEESSSSS”.... he never actually said “I quit”.

I’m beginning to think that the only good I quit matches in history are basically the WM13 match (which I’m still yet to see... not long now!

), The Rock vs Mankind at the Royal Rumble 1999 (which I have seen... awesome) and the recent one between Orton and Cena. The rest all seem pretty naff.

Main Event
Diesel © vs Shawn Michaels
WWF World Heavyweight Championship

Best match so far... but by no means a classic. Michaels basically ran the thing start to finish, for 20 minutes... but its my understanding that Diesel was being touted as the next marquee player by the WWF at this point, right? This meant that despite Michaels deserving to win this by a landslide, he fell victim to a (very poorly delivered) Jacknife powerbomb and had to lose it.

All things being considered though, this match was still entertaining, and the best match of the night. Its not a classic... and by WM main event standard there wasn’t much going for it in comparison to some of the other title fights in this PPV’s history. Still, it was a chance to see Michaels at his best, which is always a pleasure to behold.

And next year is when Michaels finally gets his payback for stealing the show at two ‘Mania’s in a row...

Main... Event...?
Bam Bam Bigelow vs Lawrence Taylor.

Whats that...? This gizmometer is going crazy! I’m detecting serious levels of SUCK in this sector. If I was an NFL fan, fine. If I was someone who knew of a single NFL player (other than the Refrigerator!), fine. If I gave a damn about Bigelow, fine. If I enjoyed watching someone who doesn’t wrestle, beat someone who does, fine. But no. I didn’t care for, or want to see any of those things. I actually fast forwarded this match. I fast Forwarded the main event of Wrestlemania. What a shame.

So... all in all. Not great. Pretty poor, in actual fact. Hello... decent matches? They seem to be hiding, after last year... this was nearly like WM IX all over again. Well, Diesel and Michaels was good... but the rest was so poor and disappointing. I’m going to go for a 1/10 here. Yeah, I'm saying it was WM IX bad. I mentioned the lack of star power last time... and it was so, so evident this time around. They need more talent, and they need it fast... the WWF at this point seems to be getting carried mainly by Michaels and Hart. Two people just isn’t enough... and when one of them manages to have a disappointing match, it makes the whole show that much worse.

Of course, next year, we have them both in the same match... and its finally dawned on me why it was an hour long match. Not only because it's simply an awesome concept... (I mean, these guys? For an hour? hells yeah)... but because the rest of the roster would really struggle to make up the rest of the show. I'm kind of predicting now that WM 12 will be a show of two halfs... a shocking start, followed by a sublime finish.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania 12
I AM IRON MAN

Ok, that wasn't the real tag line. I can't help it, Wikipedia stopped adding the tag lines for some reason... Also, why is Scott Hall on the poster? He didn't have a fight...?

Vadar, Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith vs Jake Roberts, Ahmed Johnson and Yokozuna

Whoa what, DBS is a heel? Bullshiiiiite. That guys too much of a legend to be a heel. Yeah anyway, the stipulation on this match was that if Roberts, Johnson and Yoko won, they'd get 5 minutes in the ring afterwards with Jim Cornette. Unfortunately for them, they didn't win... shame.

This was ok though. I mean, I'm always happy to see Roberts fight, and the inclusion of Hart and the Bulldog was enough to keep me interested. Yokozuna seemed a bit out of it here... and what ze fook is the deal with Vadar? Fat dude with a mask... thats it.

Roddy Piper vs Goldust
Backlot Brawl

Ok, so I don't know whether to classify this as a match... but I will. This continued throughout the night, but I'll just cover it all here. Basically, these guys had a feud where Goldie was obsessed with the Piper... the fight started with Goldust getting out of his car, and getting his ass handed to him by Piper for a bit. After a while, he got in a low blow and drove away... so Piper followed. Throughout the next hour, we get random clips of Piper on the phone to Vince McMahon, Piper being chased by the police, and just generally chasing after Goldust.

In the end though, they end up back in the ring... Goldust actually give Piper a bit of a beating here, but in the end Piper fought back, and tore off Goldusts suit... revealing one of the most disturbing sights in the history of wrestling.

This whole segment wasn't too bad really. It kind of ushered in a new "hardcore" side of the WWF, and is probably one of the reasons for the eventual activation of the awesome Hardcore title. My god, I wish they'd bring that back... not likely however, what with the PG rating and all.

Steve Austin vs Savio Vega

OH HELL YEAH! To me, Austin will probably always be the greatest of all time. Thats just how it is. The first thing I ever saw in wrestling was Austin destroying Vince Mcmahon's trailer... or whatever it was. From then on, this guy finally became the guy I considered the most entertaining, and overall best in the WWF, and he was never displaced. And its a safe bet to say that he never will be.

Anyway, onto this match. Austin was still under his "Ringmaster" stuff... I mean, he was "Stone Cold" by now, but still had Dibiase with him and used the million dollar dream. I just love to watch Austin in the ring. I'm not sure what it is about him, but I enjoy watching him fight much more than any other person in it... just the way he moves, his animation. Its special. He wasn't so brawly in this match... he actually did a fair bit of wrestling, which is something I wasn't really used to seeing from him.

The match came to an end when Dibiase slid the Million dollar title into the ring, and the ref got knocked out... so Austin hit the other dude with it a couple of times... and then applied a sleeper hold (which I can't help but feel was a failed Million Dollar Dream...)... the ref got back up, and did the whole raising arm thing 3 times... and of course, the other dude had been knocked out, so didn't respond. Austin won. Thank ****. If this other dude, who I had never heard of, had beaten Austin at Wrestlemania... I'd have gone crazy. But no. Justice was done. The other guy should just be thankful he was able to step into the ring with the best of all time on the grandest stage of them all.

And thats the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so!

Sorry...

Oh, I'll add this in here... theres an interview with Diesel after this match... and at the end I swear he says "Goo goo ga joob!"... why

Ultimate Warrior vs Hunter Hearst Hemsley

Oh snap! First Austin, then Trip's? This is great seeing all of these legends come into it. And just about time too, what with the noticeable lack of talent recently.

Unfortunately though, this match was just another chance to make the Ultimate Warrior look stupidly good. Hunter hit a pedigree really early, to which Warrior just stood up from. Thats right. Whats supposed to be one of the most devastating moves in wrestling made to look like dog shit. Just to put the Warrior over. That dudes got nothing on HHH. Looking back now, had we all known what was in store for the future of HHH, this would actually be one of the biggest matchups in history...

Yeah anyway, this was over in about a minute and a half. Feckin' boo.

The Undertaker vs Diesel

This, however, was seen as a big match. In the WWF at this time, the only real WWF championship people were Michaels, Hart and these two badasses. So to have these two face off was a pretty big move, and it kind of payed off. This match was alright, certainly the best seen from Taker thus far. This match was as JR would say, a slobber knocker, and looked to be over when Diesel Jacknifed Taker... but didn't go for the pin. Instead, he just did a "look at this guy, lol" thing... and after a bit, The Undertaker sat up. Chance to ruin Taker's WM streak, wasted... he managed to get him with another Jacknife though... but, having not learned from his mistakes, did he whole stand there laughing thing. This guy is obviously too cool to go for a pin.

At least for a while anyway. He finally tries it, but taker sticks his hand up and chokes him. They end up stood up, with Taker trying to chokeslam, but Diesel reverses into a suplex... to which Taker gets right up from! Diesel isn't expecting it, so gets pretty freaked out when he turns around. Taker then goes to school, hitting a chokeslam and then an impressive tombstone, considering the size of Big Daddy Cool.

Overall, a good match. Not good enough to make my recommended list, but good none the less.

 

[Oaf]

Main Event
Bret Hart © vs Shawn Michaels
WWF World Heavyweight Championship – 1 Hour Iron Man Match

IROOOOOOOON MAAAAAAN!!!!!

That being said...:

This match had the best big fight feel to it for years. Everything about the opening proceedings was great. Michaels entrance was incredible... and the way Hebner went through the rules at the beginning was a great touch to add to the epic battle we were about to watch. And what an epic battle it was...

This match had a very unique flow to it. It was slower paced than a regular match, with both men looking to conserve energy. It was slow paced, but still entertaining at the same time. The first 10-20 minutes was just pure, ground wrestling between the two. I knew Hart was capable of it, but Michaels was impressive as I'd never seen him as this great a mat wrestler. This was almost like Greco-Roman stuff.

There are a few attempts to lock in a sharpshooter, and Michaels tries a Sweet Chin Music or two, but doesn't land any. Well, thats not strictly true, he manages to catch the time keeper with a great "thud" on one occasion.

This then slowly turns to more of a typical match, with both men playing it very defensively. Hart seems to be in control for most of it, with Michaels hitting a few quick pieces of offense now and then. Michaels sells moves like a god. Some of his reactions to being whipped into the corners are great, including one where he manages to go clean over onto the floor.

What with Michaels taking a page out of Hart's book in the early goings, Hart decides to take a page out of Michaels' and pulls off a great suicide dive to the outside. It looked a bit odd seeing that from a man who is usually all about technical excellence.

Come 55 minutes, both men are looking a bit shot, and we're still yet to see a finishing move or a pinfall. It starts to get tense... a pinfall at this stage would most likely win it. Michaels manages to gain the upper hand, and spends the next couple of minutes hitting high impact moves on Hart, and trying pins afterwards. He is literally throwing everything at him, including the kitchen sink... but he just can't get the pinfall. The sense of desperation and urgency here is simply thrilling.

With just 40 seconds to go, Micheals jumps at Hart, who counters, gets Shawn on his back and finally locks in a sharpshooter! Michaels had avoided it for 59 and a half minutes, but finally got caught

. Michaels is fighting it, and the time ticks away... Michaels manages to resist, and the full 60 minutes are up. Its been incredible, but has ended 0-0. The best 0-0 draw you are ever likely to see

.

Hart starts to make his way to the back... but then, gets told that we're going to have added time! Bret seems irritated, but gets back into the ring, and continues the assault, with Michaels still hurting from the Sharpshooter... but suddenly, Michaels goes and pulls a Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere! Whats even more incredible, however, is that he's so hurt, Hart manages to start moving before him. Michaels works his way to his feet and starts to tune up the band.. and hits it again! He goes for the pin... and gets it. Cue fantasitic celebrations. Michaels finally has what he deserved for years, the World Heavyweight Championship. I loved the celebrations afterwards... whereas usually these moments are all about big, loud celebrations involving a bunch of people, or the crowd, this felt as if the moment was purely there for Michaels to have his own personal moment... he had just achieved his greatest goal in life. Wrestling may be fake, but I'll be damned if those emotions from Michaels after this match weren't real.

Overall then... very good. And, for the first time... not a single match I didn't care about. Not one. Granted though, there were only 6 matches...

Still, 6 matches that I care about in one PPV is pretty cool.

One thing I particularly liked was the absolute lack of celebrities. Not one. Finally, Wrestlemania was more about the wrestling, and it showed in the quality of it. I mean, it was a simple case of a decent opening match, a different, hardcore type match, seeing two future hall of famers making their debut, seeing an impressive match from two of the biggest in it at the time and then seeing a classic. That makes for a great Wrestlemania, I don't think I touched the fast forward button once. For being such a great package overall, and providing us with a classic, I'll give this one an 8/10. Its just off getting a 9... mainly because I know that I only liked two of the matches due to the fact that two of my future favourites were making their WM debut

.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania 13
Unlucky for some...

Ok, the tagline was actually "Heat", but COME ON. Thats terrible. Everybody knows it should have been "unlucky for some..."

The Godwinns vs The Headbangers vs Doug Furnas and Philip Lafon vs The New Blackjacks
Elimination Fatal 4 way tag match – Winners become number one contenders for Tag Titles

Blaghh. Pretty crappy start, if I’m honest. I didn’t really give a damn about any of these guys. Well, I’d later come to like Bradshaw of The New Blackjacks... it was weird watching him here, as a nobody, knowing he was in line to become one of the very few people to actually have a decent sized title run in recent years.

Anyway, Headbangers won it... dragged on a bit too long, so I was glad to see it end.

Rocky Maivia © vs The Sultan
Intercontinental Championship

Look at Rocky here. It was so weird hearing the King call him the “luckiest Kid in the world”... and just the general fact that we was this rookie character who had a fluke title win, seeing as I’m so used to seeing him as one of the top dogs. It also took some getting used to seeing him do dropkicks, and using a flying cross body as his finisher...

Oh, another great thing about this was that The Sultan was Rikishi. Rikishi is, of course, awesome. Even better? He had The Iron Shiek with him. **** YEAH. Anyway, this match was... alright. It was purely there to help push The Rock, really. Rocky won it with a roll up.

Hunter Hearst Hemsley vs Goldust

HHH is with Chyna now. And at this time, HHH wasn’t quite bulked up yet, her muscles are bigger than his

This match wasn’t too bad, but perhaps dragged on a little longer than it should have. This ended when Goldust took his eye off of HHH, because Chyna was having a go at... whatever his woman was called... outside. Goldust got distracted by that, and turned around to be greeted by a pedigree. Game over.

Owen Hart and The British Bulldog © vs Vadar and Mankind
WWF Tag team Championships

Foley is god! It was great to finally see him at a Wrestlemania. The problem with this match though, was that it felt a little like filler, which hadn’t really been present over the last few years... and also, all 4 men were currently heels. I never understand it when they put heels together in a match, the crowd just doesn’t know who to cheer for. That being said, Owen and the Bulldog actually did an alright job of establishing themselves as the temporary faces for this match, and the crowd got a bit behind them.

This match itself wasn’t too bad, but the ending was a bit crappy. Mankind locked in a mandible claw on the Bulldog outside of the ring, and just let the 10 count expire. It makes no sense for him to do that, and cost his team a chance of winning the tag titles... other than to help him look even more crazy.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Bret Hart
Submission Match – Special Referee: Ken Shamrock

The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be...vs Bret Hart

I’ve often seen this called “The best match of all time”. A pretty big title, I’m sure you’ll agree. I wouldn’t say that this is strictly the case with me... however, I would begrudge no man for saying such a thing, having seen it now. This. Is. A. Classic.

Before I go onto the match itself, I’ve got to say; I loved the story going into this. Bret had just come back from a 6 month injury. He left as the most respected wrestler in the world... and came back to a WWF that seemed to be showing little respect for everything, including himself. He kept on finding himself being screwed out of this and that... and after a cage match for the WWF title, which he lost due to The Undertaker slamming a cage door in his face, he absolutely lost it. He went on one of the edgiest, most profanity filled rants in the history of wrestling after that match... and began bitching at every given opportunity.

Now, of all people in the history of professional wrestling... who worse to be in your face when you’re crying like a baby, than SCSA? Nobody.

Thus, this match was born. Stone Cold at this stage was such a unique individual. He was a heel, but he was, as JR would say, the toughest S.O.B. in the WWF. He wasn’t a cheating heel. He wasn’t a cowardly heel. He was a new breed of heel, a heel who was wanting to open a can of whoop ass.

Anyway, enough with that, on with the match. It was crazy. The match had a terrific start, with Hart still entering, and Austin standing in the corner. It had an awesome camera angle from behind Austins right shoulder, and the way he turned his head, and then just launched himself into a take down, throwing punches all over the place, signified the level of intensity this match was going to have and was just CLASSIC Steve Austin. Its probably my favourite opening to a match ever.

This starts out as an all out brawl. Its purely just these two guys beating the crap out of each other, outside the ring and into the crowd. The pure intensity of this is outstanding. And of course, for its time, this is very different from the norm.

I say this started as a brawl, but in truth, it was a brawl most of the way through. There was a bit of wrestling in it, from Bret Hart working on Austins leg a bit, once they finally got back to the ring area, and into the ring. They spilled outside again though, and Austin got whipped into a crowd barrier, and got a massive gash on his head afterwards. Good GOD, Austin can bleed when he has too. He’s like a blood waterfall. Once Austin was bloodied, Hart began to take more and more control and started beating on Austin, with Austin fighting in small spells. A few chair and ring bells shots were used by both men, for good measure.

Finally, Hart managed to lock in his sharpshooter. Austin must be one of the best sellers of submissions moves in history. Seriously, he looked freakin’ hurt. He managed to power himself out of it, but Hart managed to lock it straight back in... there were absolutely fantastic scenes of Austin screaming in pain, and slowly fading out... causing the referee to end the match.

This match was everything they said it was. Both of these men putting on a fantastic performance, even by their very high standards. I know I keep using the word, but this was one of the most intense fights I’ve ever seen. This match seemed to single handedly give a preview of the direction the WWF was heading into... and with Austins performance, it had established him as one of the people to take the WWF into this direction.

The whole heel/face change was great as well. I had heard that Hart started the face, and Austin the heel, and the change happened throughout... but thats not how I saw it. The amount of Austin signs in the crowd were incredible... and Hart got quite a few boo’s on entering.

But the sheer way Austin was portrayed in this was simply outstanding. This new breed of heel was so damned good, he couldn’t be a heel if he tried. People just loved him too damned much, and I don’t blame them. Just to put the final nail in the coffin of these alignment changes, Hart beat on Austin a bit after the match, and walked out to a chorus of boo’s. A referee tried to help Austin out of the ring... and of course, took a stunner for his efforts. After all of that, passing out with pain, bleeding like a tap... he still managed to pull of a stunner and walk out on his own. I say this a lot, but here it is again: Cherry on top.

The ending was perfect as well. Hart was too well respected to quit, and it would have looked a little much seeing this veteran quit to a relative rookie... so he had to win it, really. But, the fact that Austin took one of the biggest beatings in history, and never said “I quit”, really made him look fantastic. I’d go so far to say that this was the match that made Austin. It took him to that next level. People liked him beforehand, this match made them love him. Steve Austin was finally born.

I probably don’t need to say it, but this match gets on my essential watching list, with a star.

Nation of Domination vs Ahmed Johnson and the L.O.D.
Chicago Street fight

DAMN!

That being said, I cringed when I first saw this... I mean, after that last match, this looked as if it was going to be shite. It managed to suprise me, however. Sure, it was messy, but it was consistently entertaining, at least. It was basically just a massive brawl between these guys, and I’m all for that. After a decent little brawl of a match, L.O.D and Johnson managed to win it.

 

[Oaf]

Main Event
The Undertaker vs Sycho Sid
WWF World Heavyweight Championship

Well, this feels like Deja-vu. A great fight earlier in the night, that could have been the main event... but instead, our main event is a pile of puke, headlined by Sycho Sid. Seriously, did they not learn from WM8 that this guy is pants? How the feck he main evented two WM’s, I’ll never know.

Undertaker did as best he could, but isn’t really a carrying wrestler like say, Michaels, so couldn’t salvage the match. Thankfully, he won it though, with a bit of interference from Hart, who thought that he should have been the one in this match.

So yeah, other than seeing Taker win the title (which is always awesome), this was the worst main event of Wrestlemania of all time. Terrible stuff. It lasted about 20 minutes as well, to add extra layers of suck. It wasn’t just shite, it was looooong.

Soooo... if ever there was a need for the term “one match show”, its to describe WM13. I mean, I don’t think thier’s been a WM yet where the worst fight has been the main event, until now... and thats saying something, considering most of the rest ranged from ok to pretty crappy. That Austin vs Hart match however, NEEDS watching. If you’ve never seen it, check it out. Both men at their best, which is saying something in itself. I’ve seen that this match is on a Bret Hart of Austin DVD... so, rather than buy this whole Wrestlemania, I’d highly recommend getting whichever one of those has it on if you’re going to watch that match... something I’d implore any fan of wrestling to do.

I’ll give this a 5/10 overall. On the whole, it was pretty terrible really... and having a crap main event hurt it. That Austin/Hart match managed to get about 3 of those points on its own. Like I said, it really is that good.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania XIV
DX Raided

Yay, Wikipedia are doing the taglines again! I'm going to add a few little pictures this time as well... not many, but feck it. Anyway, this Wrestlemania is often touted as the “official” beginning of the attitude era... that sets my expectations pretty high... so, does it reach them?

Savio & Miguel, Jose & Jesus, Recon & Sniper, Bradshaw & Chainz, Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown, The Quebecers, The Rock N Roll Express, The Headbangers, Brian Christopher & Scott Taylor, Skull & 8-Ball, Steve Blackman & Flash Funk, The New Midnight Express, The Godwinns, The Legion of Doom
15 Tag Team Battle Royal

A decent way to start Wrestlemania, this. Give everybody who wasn’t important enough to have a proper match at Wrestlemania the chance to take part in this unique contest. The rule was that if any member of a tag team was eliminated, both members of the team are out. It gave a cool spin to this... breaking away from the usual “every man for himself” rule.

But yeah, this was the L.O.D’s return as a tag team... and it was pretty obvious all along that they were going to win it. Still, it was entertaining enough, I guess.

Aguila vs Taka Michinoku ©
Light-Heavyweight Championship

Corr, I don’t remember these Light-heavyweight matches being this unique. The whole Light-heavyweight thing kind of dissolved while I was watching it, but it made for a high-flying, frantic paced match up. It wasn’t great, by any standards... just different. It was decent action, but couldn’t help but feel a bit like pointless filler, unfortunately.

Oh, and Taka is a bonafide Smackdown 2 legend! I must have won the WWF Championship with him more times than anybody else!

Triple H © vs Owen Hart
European Championship

Aha, here we go. Some proper degeneration X stuff... none of that modernised kiddy DX, this was proper DX. Still though, HHH is with Chyna, and she’s still bigger than him...

Anyway, the commissioner at this time, Sgt Slaughter, rules that Chyna must be hand-cuffed to him, if she wished to be at ringside. In reality, all this did was firmly establish that Chyna was much stronger than him, as he struggled to keep her under control really.

Yeah, she managed to get some salt and throw it into Slaughters eyes, and then low-blow Hart, who turned around to a pedigree. Triple H retains... and it suggests that DX are here to dominate on this night. This match was pretty decent overall.

The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust and Luna vs Sable and Marc Mero
Mixed Tag Team Match

This was a wierd one, as Sable was the only face going into this match. Sable and Mero were doing the whole Savage/Elizabeth thing, where the dude treats his woman like crap and tries using her to get popularity for himself.

The reaction Sable was getting from the crowd was fantastic. She probably got the second best reaction from the crowd of the night, all in all. The crowd really got behind her.

This match probably made for the most entertaining thus far though... which is suprising, for an intergender tag match. Well done to all involved. Well, mainly Sable.

The Rock © vs Ken Shamrock
Intercontinental Championship

Aha, here we go. None of that “Maivia” crap. Just “The Rock”. “The peoples Intercontinental champion”. Early signs of what this guy is to become... The only thing he has to overcome now is the fact that he’s one of the nation of domination. Once he’s out of there, he’s away!

The rule for this match was that if The Rock got himself DQ’ed, he’d lose the title... so, against Ken Shamrock, who the WWF seemed to hold as some form of God, he seemed to have no chance of walking out with the belt. And, this looked to be the case when Shamrock locked in the ankle lock (which, for the record, Kurt Angle does MUCH better

)and The Rock tapped out. Shamrock then proceeded to be an utter douche, and started beating on the Rock, and officials trying to restrain him. He even pushed the Rock’s stretcher over, when he was being taken out. As a result, the referee REVERSED his decision... The Rock wins via DQ. For events after the match... a bit shit really, but Shamrock acted like a dick, so he had it coming in fairness. And I was delighted to see the Rock remain the people’s IC champ... so all was good and well in the end.

Cactus Jack and Terry Funk vs New Age Outlaws ©
Tag Team Championships – Dumpster Match

This was surprisingly good. I expected it to be a hideous mess of a shitty gimmick match, but it was actually the most entertaining thing thus far. Funk and Foley are obviously hardcore legends, so they managed to pretty much make this entertaining between the pair of them. As for the other two... well, I can’t help but think “Billy and Chuck”, when I see Billy Gunn now.

But yeah, they got a bunch of weapons involved, including a ladder, which is always cool. Billy Gunn and Foley took a nice bump off of it into the dumpster. LURVLY. Anyway, this match ended up going backstage, where Funk used a forklift to life up both of the NAO’s and dump them into a dumpster... new tag champs! Awesome one’s, at that!

Although, I think I’m right in understanding that the night after, the decision was reversed as the dumpster used wasn’t an “official” one in the match... but oh well. The hardcore legends won on the night, and that's good enough for me.

The Undertaker vs Kane.

I’ll admit this... and I don’t expect all to agree here, but I thought this was great. Very very entertaining stuff. The build-up was a bit... well... you know... lightning and fireballs.

This was The Undertakers first big WM style entrance, with the druids and stuff, which made for a great feel of tension leading into the match, and gave it a pretty epic feel. It started with a staredown, which when done right, is great. Thankfully, this was one of those occasions... made for some great scenes. By the way, I feel I should mention, only upon seeing this do I really how much I miss masked Kane. He needs that friggin thing back!

This match was about 15 minutes of two invincible forces trying, and failing, to keep the other one down. The first half is only ok... but theres a moment where Taker tries to jump over the ropes and land on Kane, but Kane move’s, resulting in Taker throwing himself right through the Spanish announcers table. From that point on, I really loved this.

Kane rolls Taker back into the ring and hits one of his flying clotheslines, but only manages a 2 count. Taker manages to fight his way back... and tries a tombstone, only for it to be reversed by Kane into a tombstone of his own! He hits it, and Taker kicks out at 2!

Taker then fights back a bit, and manages to hit a chokeslam, followed by a tombstone of his own... and Kane kicks out! Taker then hits him with another... and Kane kicks out AGAIN! He hits him with a third, and finally gets the 3 count. Afterwards, Kane tombstoned Taker onto a chair... but Taker sat up while Kane was leaving... nice.

But yeah, this is probably one of the best “big man” matches I’ve ever seen. It was a pure battle between two seemingly invincible forces, and the kick outs were incredible. I mean, kicking out of two tombstones IN A ROW? And he wasn’t the Ultimate Warrior?! Sheeeeit. This really made me yearn for the old Kane again. He was such an incredible monster back here. He was truely a “big red MACHINE”. That earie mask. The flames on his costume. He was fabulous... and it really stands out how much of a joke he is now, in comparison. I’m begging for the WWE to get this Kane back.

I’m going to recommend this match... something I wasn’t expecting to say before watching it. This had no real right to be as damned good as it was, on paper.

 

[Oaf]

Main Event
Shawn Michaels © vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
WWF Championship – Special Enforcer: Mike Tyson

You know, only while watching the build up did it dawn on me, just how big this match was to me personally. I mean, I’ve always said that The Rock and Stone Cold are my top two guys in Wrestling... but HBK is actually number 3. This would mean... that out of every possible combination of wrestlers to ever see go 1 on 1, this is number 2 on my list. Big stuff...

Austins entrance is electric. The crowd go wild upon hearing that glass shatter, and it becomes apparent... THIS IS ON! And then Michaels is coming out, with the “DX band” playing live... and you can just feel it. This is the moment... this is the moment you can feel wrestling transitioning from its old ways... to the ways of the Attitude era. I’ve never felt the wrestling world move so much within the space of two entrances. The Attitude era had arrived... and who better to get us started then the two people who pioneered it, Stone Cold and the leader of DX, Shawn Michaels.

Austin kicks things off... by flipping Michaels the fingers. He then chases Michaels around a bit, and catches him and begins to open a can of whoopass. As he often does. Triple H manages to start beating on Austin near the start... but rather than DQ Michaels, the ref sends HHH and Chyna to the back!

The fight spills up to the entrance area, and they fight for a bit where the DX band was playing. HBK hits Austin with a cymbal... but doesn’t get DQ’ed. Gee, refs were far less strict in these days

.

But yeah, they then get back into the ring area, and have a great couple of back and forth moments. Both guys keep it entertaining and keep the crowd involved... including Michaels showing the crowd the fingers. This is great stuff. Tyson doesn’t get involved too much, which is cool. He throws Austin inside the ring one time, to allow HBK to keep up the momentum.

The ref manages to get a big of an accidental beating, getting caught up in the corner... showing that Tyson is going to have to get involved a bit more here. After a bit, Michaels hits a flying forearm and kips himself up... and hits an elbow drop. Its probably worth mentioning here, for those that didn’t know... Michaels is fighting here with a freakin’ BROKEN BACK. This is his last appearance before facing HHH in a street fight, in August 2002. He’s out with an injury bad enough to keep him out for 4 years, and he’s still pulled off an incredible match... and managed to do things like Kip himself up (which must have killed) and hit this elbow drop... he then tunes up the band... aims for the Sweet chin music, but Austin ducks it, and tries hitting a stunner... HBK pushes Austin away into the ropes, and tries to hit him with another Sweet Chin Music... but Austin grabs the leg, spins him around and hits the stunner! He goes for the pin... Tyson runs in... 1... 2... 3! WHAT AN ENDING!

So here we go, I'll just get all of this out there: Probably one of the best ending’s I’ve ever seen to a match. One of the all time great performances, by Shawn Michaels, considering the pain he must have been in, and what this match probably cost him... use of a celebrity that was actually a great benefit to the match overall... The Austin Championship era beginning... and one of the best matches I’ve seen since I’ve started this Wrestlemania tour. This makes my list, with a star. But then again, it was about what I’d come to expect from two of the best of all time. About all that was wrong at the end, was Austin celebrating with Tyson. Give it another year, and Tyson’d have eaten a stunner right there. Still, fantastic stuff... welcome to the Attitude era!

This one was a WM of two halves really... the first five matches ranged from "meh" to very good, while never really getting boring. As for the last three, the dumpster match was very entertaining (surprisingly) Undertaker vs Kane was epic (even MORE suprisingly) and Austin/Michaels was fantastic. Overall though... very very good stuff. Every match had something to keep me interested, and I think that this is probably the first time I've been able to say that. Wrestlemania has just entered a great age... heck, Wrestling has entered a great age. This is the attitude era, baby! I'm kind of caught between giving this an 8 or a 9... but, I think I can say that this is the most I've enjoyed a Wrestlemania since I've started this thing. They've finally made a card built to be entertaining start to finish, rather than just center it around a few matches... so, for this and other reasons, this one gets the best score yet: 9/10. WM X just missed off of it... but this one makes it.

 

[Oaf]

Oh crud... it seems that pages 4, 5 and 6 aren't accessible via that archive thing. FUCKSTICKS.

 

[Oaf]

Aw fuck. Nope, they're gone. Also, there's nothing after WM30 either, so that one's dead as well. The only WM I can rescue is WM 29... so fuck it, I'll post that one up.

 

[Oaf]

Wrestlemania 29
Twice in a lifetime.

Yeah, I know, that isn’t the official tagline and it’s been done to death, but fuck you I’m using it.

The preshow match was Miz vs Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship… and, sadly, Barrett dropped the title. I do like Miz and all (you've only got to look in this thread to see how happy I was when he beat Cena, and looked as if he was going to be something... man, that changed), but damn it, I love Barrett more.

The stadium looked great, for the most part. Super impressive crowd of just over 80,000… as a matter of fact, the second highest attendance WWE has had in its entire history, behind only Wrestlemania 3. For some reason, there was no national anthem this year, and we got things kicked off right away with Sheamus’ music…

Sheamus, Orton and Big Show vs The Shield

Once the shock of WWE not opening the show with a World Title match wore off, we were left with a very good opener I thought. Nothing out of this world, and obviously not a patch on the match that The Shield pulled off at TLC last year, but it was very entertaining throughout and, to my surprise, we got what I thought was the right result. The Shield remain unbeaten. This is all well and good, but I hope that they actually have plans for them now. Making them face random teams of 3 people with nothing better to do is getting a bit old now. They need to move to the next phase… whether that be by setting their sights higher (going for a title or two?) or by getting some kind of leader type thing going on.

Also, I see a lot of people saying that Big Show “turned” again in this match. I never really saw him as a face anyway, and expected nothing less than for him to be knocking at least one of his partners out before the night was through. On that note, I thought that the entire angle of that was played out well in the match. It started out with a few subtle looks of annoyance on Shows face from not getting tagged in, and obviously boiled over to the point where he just stood there letting Orton get pinned just to prove a point. Well booked in every respect, I’d say.

Mark Henry vs Ryback

Leading into this, I said that it had potential to be pretty decent, but also that it had potential to be a real stinker. Unfortunately, I’d say that it was far closer to the latter, mainly because of Henry’s overuse of that fucking bear hug. It reminded me a lot of Yokozuna way back using that boring as shit nerve hold for the majority of a match.

What the fuck happened with the result, though? The thought of Henry winning hadn’t even occurred to me. I guess that maybe WWE wanted to make a few surprise results, but this was a bad match to do it in I think. Ryback must surely have a bright future ahead of him, so could have really done with this win. But instead he suffers his first ever clean loss… as a result of… buckling under weight? Not really the sort of thing I imagine people being pinnable after. But whatever. About the only positive that can come from here, I think, is that Mark Henry should go after the World Heavyweight title. Then at least this result will have helped somebody…

WWE Tag Team Championships:
Daniel Bryan and Kane © vs Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee)

This match while pretty good… while it lasted. Seemed very short. I was hoping we’d get a good 5 or so minutes of just getting to watch Ziggler and Bryan go back and forth really. Plus I was massively disappointed with how little Big E actually did in the match. He seems to have speed that you wouldn’t usually associate with somebody with his size and strength, so I had high hopes of him looking impressive… but I don’t feel like we really got a proper look at him. A shame. And again, it’s a bigger shame that the match was so damned short.

Chris Jericho vs Fandango

Damn you Jericho, you just can’t resist putting people over, can you? I mean, simply allowing Fandango to have his debut in front of 80000 people at Wrestlemania against a legend such as Chris Jericho would have been enough. So long as he put in a decent effort, Fandango could have come out of this as a loser and looking like a boss. But Jericho went even further, and gave the guy the win as well. Fantastic from Jericho.

And a good start to the career of Fandango. Where next? Honestly, my guess is that they’ll probably a rematch at Extreme Rules which Jericho will win, but time will tell. I’m still never sure how big Fandango is going to be. He’s entertaining as fuck, and WWE must be high on him to have let this happen, but he still feels more like a midcard type thing than a main eventer, due to his gimmick. Screw it though, lets give the guy a chance. He’s doing a brilliant job thus far… who knows where he can go from here. He looked solid enough, but didn’t really get to do too much offense in this match so like with Big E, it’s hard to judge.

World Heavyweight Championship

Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) © vs Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)

Zeb Coulter gave a pretty cutting promo before this match… and really, that was about the only standout. It was a good match, don’t get me wrong, but it never really exceeded expectations. Zeb and Ricardo played their parts well on the outside, and in the end, it was ADR with the victory via tap out. A submission match down the line is rumoured, and something that’d make sense… so with that in mind, I think a submission victory wasn’t really the best way to go. We now know that Del Rio can make Swagger tap out… and it kind of takes away from any future submission match they may have.

Still, decent start to our main events.

CM Punk (w/Paul Heyman) vs The Undertaker

I say that the main events got started in the last match, but here is where it really started to feel like Wrestlemania. CM Punk got an awesome live music entrance and The Undertakers entrance, as always was awe inspiring stuff. I fucking loved him stood there with all of those hands grasping at him. Couldn’t have screamed “this guy will DEVOUR YOUR SOUL” any louder. Made him look like a fucking badass Hades or something. Possibly one of my favourite Undertaker entrances of all time.

The match itself was all we expected it to be. Brilliant story telling, psychology, emotion and all that jazz from both men. However, I thought it lacked one crucial element… and it's not the announce table doing the worst no sell a table has ever done. I mean, really, how the hell does that not break?!

But no, the thing that held this back for me was the lack of belief that only one man was ever going to win this. The last four years in his matches with HBK and HHH, there have been plenty of moments where, even though I went into it with Taker winning as a surefire thing, they managed to fool me into thinking that, actually, it could end. This year, that never really came close to happening. And as a result, as great as the match was, it stopped it from becoming the classic that the 4 matches before it were.

If this were at another PPV though, so Undertaker winning wasn’t sure a likely outcome, and I could have actually believed that the match could have ended at any of Punks near falls, I’m sure I’d be raving about it as if it were an all time classic, though. Because despite that one shortcoming, MAN, this was a fucking awesome match. The Undertaker just doesn’t do anything less than amazing these days. If I had to pick a match of the show, I’d probably go for this. The highlight? Probably Taker eating a GTS, only to bounce off of the ropes and reply with an instant tombstone. Does it completely no sell the GTS? Yeah, sure. But fuck it. It was unexpected and awesome… and Taker sold the hell out of it after the failed pin to make up for it.

So while Undertaker builds his unbeaten streak up to 20-0, I make his “match of the night” streak now a solid 5-0 in the last 5 WM’s. That’s actually impressive as hell in its own right.