1FF Vegan of the Year Dedicated to Tilikum

[Martino Knockavelli]

Thankyou Creg, for letting me present this particularly prestigious category.

The astute of you will have noticed that humanity has fired up the SatNav, scrolled to the DESTINATION tab, entered the address 'MASSIVE PLANETARY DESTRUCTION', and proceeded to drive there at a speed of exactly 250mph.

This simply cannot continue.

And fortunately, some noble souls possess the foresight to not only recognise that reality, and then not only admit it, but also to then serve as an example for a better, kinder, more sustainable way that we could all choose to live. And love.

These people are called Vegans. They limp amongst us with sallow skin, bow legs, and sunken eyes. Truly they are the evangelists of Better Way. And we thank them with this category.

Without further ado:

3RD:

Spoiler: DRUM ROLL

PAGNELL - 1FF's most notable push bikest, this man is on a one man crusade to save the good ship Gaea one day at a time. Lord knows the two of us differ on certain issues, but when it comes to eating vegetables, this man is on the side of the angels.

2ND:

Spoiler: DRUM ROLL

StevenCC - Steven was a former meat eater, but now only consumes sustainably stuffed cushions and meat free microwavable burgers. A few more of him and I dare say we would not be in the godammed hell of mess that we are right now. Thanks, StevenCC

1ST

Spoiler: DRUM ROLL

Dave!! This man hates meat eating so much that he won't even look at an animal unless it is on At The Races TV, much less even consider cooking one, slicing it up with a knife, putting it into his mouth, chewing it, swallowing it, and then putting his digestive tract to work at turning into into fuel for his body. Dave - I, and I dare say, WE, salute you.

 

[lordofthepies]

I wish I'd told you earlier, but I am actually a vegan as well. I reckon I could have won this if only people had known.