Composting

Destruction

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Hi lads. I will hold my hands up and admit I am a composting novice but want to get into the game so to speak. Can anyone offer any advice for a beginner like myself?

Stuff like bin size, average time to compost etc, dos and donts, etc.

Cheers.
 

Stevencc

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I'd love to help you here Dessie as I've just moved to a new build and the developers were nice enough to include a compost converter in the price of the property.

I've done a small bit of research (my local Tesco has run out of spades so I have not progressed past some opening enquiries on the subject) but from what I can gather you should place your compost receptacle on some soil so the beasties that lurk in your garden can get in and amongst the whole mess and help the process along. Just lob your garden and kitchen waste in there.
 
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Blitzballer

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I have one of these "compost converter" type bins. Basically throw all my grass cuttings, dead plants, leaves , vegetable peelings in etc.
During the summer the heat in their begins to break everything down. You'll be surprised how quick it goes down in the summer. Then by next spring you'll have a load of compost, which is accessible via a flap at the bottom of the barrel.
Not sure if that's the way to do it, but been doing it for years and I get great results every time
 

Blitzballer

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blackcompostconverter_gallery_08.jpg
 
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Martino Knockavelli

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My mam did it a few years ago (before she forsook the material world for a life of Candy Crush Saga on her iPad) and the heap turned into a hive of breeding rats. I think they like the warmth in the middle. So tread carefully.

> obviously a sealed plastic receptacle as pictured above would obviate the need for said careful treading.
 
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Craig

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Aye, plastic receptacle would also remove any authenticity from your compost heap. Like this post if you wanna read about my old grandad's proper compost heap that started as a bit of wire mesh, a disused ironing board and a dead silver birch tree.
 

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Build yoursen a keyhole garden.
 

Aber gas

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I personally believe composting is a load of nonsense and only exists to make people feel better about their disgusting waste of natural resources and general disregard for the environment. I also find the whole thing horribly smug.
Good luck with it all though and if i was conceited enough to actually contemplate "composting" I'd go with Craig's more rustic design.
 
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Martino Knockavelli

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I've always wanted to grow my own vegetables. I think it could provide me with a sense of achievement, and also some structure and purpose in life, an short-horizon passel of low-maintenance, no-consequence children, if you will.

Don't think it's ever going to happen though.
 

Habbinalan

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My mam did it a few years ago (before she forsook the material world for a life of Candy Crush Saga on her iPad) and the heap turned into a hive of breeding rats. I think they like the warmth in the middle. So tread carefully.

> obviously a sealed plastic receptacle as pictured above would obviate the need for said careful treading.
Ours (heap as opposed to bin) incubates a good crop of grass snakes most years, as well as generating a good food supply for them in the form of rodents of various species.
I reckon you can shit in it as well.
Never tried that but piss is definitely a valuable ingredient.

Even allowing for the above, the key is achieving a mix of ingredients that is damp but not so wet that air is excluded. Grass mowings need mixing with something a bit more fibrous if you have a lot of them.

As the ultimate contribution to our well being, you might like to consider:

Human-Corpses-To-Be-Used-As-Compost-In-Seattle-Project1-600x344.png


http://yournewswire.com/human-corpses-to-be-used-as-compost-in-seattle-project/
 

Destruction

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Thanks for the advice gents, who knew 1FF was so green fingered?

I think I will definitely be going for the plastic contraption that Bitzy posted as rats and snakes scare me. Plus I have the greediest dog in the world who would be in a heap of food waste like Adam Johnson on a... well you know the rest.

Sadly this has all been brought about because the Tory government (spit) has seen fit to slash all sorts of council money up north and make sure Surrey and the likes are looked after, so services such as brown bin collection are now going to become a charged service. There will now be hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of households that will stop recycling their waste. Well done Davey C (spit).
 

Destruction

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Have you checked your councils refuse site? Ours offers some of the composting bins at quite reduced rates.

Cheers mate, I will have a look.

I pay £35 a year to have my garden waste collected on a fortnightly basis, have done for 4 years now I think.

You have a garden in London? That must make you a millionaire.
 

Stevencc

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Just started the gardening lads.

I thought you'd like to know.

I will have earned my beer tonight, for once.

Maybe I'll drink twice as much.
 

eightiesrobin

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I used to compost, in one of those big plastic Daleks. Trust me, you still get rats in them. I got rid of it last year to make room for raspberries. It all goes in our green bin now, and I can;t say I've missed it.
 

Pliny Harris

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Aye, plastic receptacle would also remove any authenticity from your compost heap. Like this post if you wanna read about my old grandad's proper compost heap that started as a bit of wire mesh, a disused ironing board and a dead silver birch tree.

What's the hold up Craig? The people have spoken.
 

Craig

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Sorry. Basically my granddad made a compost heap out of some wire mesh, an old ironing board and the dead silver birch tree at the bottom of his garden, we was quite the green thumb. As vegetable patches have been mentioned, he also had a rhubarb patch and every weekend my cousins, siblings and I were subjected to the vile stuff as a treat after dinner. I don't know if that stuff is a vegetable or a fruit, to me it's neither though, it's definitely a weed that should not be consumed. Don't get me started on his apple and pear trees.
 

Pliny Harris

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Worth the wait that, thanks Craig. He sounds like a true improviser, a gentleman I can truly respect. I'm sure rhubarb's a vegetable, even by the criteria that somehow classes things like bell peppers as fruit. Because it's the plant itself isn't it. I get a bit sniffy eating it straight but if it's "hidden" in summat then I tend to enjoy its flavour. I shouldn't do though, living close to the Rhubarb Triangle and that. Rhubarb and custard for example is a classic combination. A rhubarb and custard lolly with a quarter pound of kali: straight-up childhood food.

Tempted to bring up the apple and pear trees now. We don't get so many of them round 'ere.
 

Aber gas

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Rhubarb is terrible and ( apologies if this is a tad strong) bloody offensive. I can just about understand people eating it for sustenance in a hunter gatherer society but to continue to consume that horrible weed in these more enlightened times is taking nostalgia to the bloody limit.
 

Aber gas

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Someone offered me rhubarb "wine" once. I had to walk off so complete was my rage.
 

Craig

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Even when my nan baked it into a crumble it was horrid stuff, and that woman worked culinary wonders with the aforementioned sour apples and brick hard pears he used to grow.
 

Magic

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Made my day this. I thought I was having a practical joke played on me when people say that rhubarb is an edible, and even enjoyable, entity.

Sent from my HTC Desire EYE using Tapatalk
 

blade1889

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My mum talks of how she used to dip rhubarb in a bag of sugar and loved it. She still loves it now. The amount of times it ends up in crumble. So often I hear 'i dont know how you cant like it'. The only time I had a bad response to coming-out was to coming-out to not liking rhubarb. I am so grateful to learn there are so many others like me.
 

Magic

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I wouldn't even put it in my fucking composter.

Sent from my HTC Desire EYE using Tapatalk
 

Son of Cod

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Aye, plastic receptacle would also remove any authenticity from your compost heap. Like this post if you wanna read about my old grandad's proper compost heap that started as a bit of wire mesh, a disused ironing board and a dead silver birch tree.
Can we get a #southyorks Vocaroo of this and/or anything else you have written in this thread please?
 

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