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In-Profile: Paddy

Aberstone

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Over the weekend I sat down and had a quick chat with one of the resident K's supporters on 1FF. We chatted about the draconian health and safety measures put in place at Kingsmeadow, if Kingstonian are the Ks or K's and traded stories on FA Trophy wins. On that note, let's begin...

Starting with the basics...

Name:

Paul John Harris-Grundy. Paddy is just a nickname I was given because I have Irish family & my friends weren't very inventive when it came to this kind of thing.

Age:
28

Relationship status:
Married as of last Summer

Family:
One wife & a daughter about to fall out of her in a couple of months. Not sure why I typed 'one wife' & not 'the wife'... I'm not a Mormon or anything. Although that part of Mormonism does sound pretty cool. I also have an older brother & the other usual assortment of family members scattered around the place.

A few generic questions from myself...

Who do you support?
The mighty K's

How did you come to support them?
Well, as a kid I got in to football pretty late... had absolutely no interest in it until about year 6 of primary school. Prior to being a K's fan & with absolutely no knowledge of football at all I used to say I supported Man United because my dad supported them. In the summer of 1998, flicking through the football tables on teletext I came across the top half of the Ryman Premier table (they only showed the top half of the 3 feeder leagues... which, just to point out to the kids, used to be the 2nd tier of non league football) & saw a team called 'Kingstonian' had won the league. Putting 2 & 2 together I worked out that that team could well be from the place I lived. Anyway, after a month or so it got to pre season & my parents took me to see K's take on the old Wimbledon. We lost 5:0 but somehow that got me hooked - 17 years on I'm questioning my choices sometimes.

What was your favourite match you've been to?
I have 2 favourite games & the one that comes out on top keeps on changing. This time I'm gonna go for our Surrey Senior Cup triumph of 2006. We had just spent the first of four seasons in the footballing abyss that is the Isthmian Division One South & just missed out on qualifying for the play offs by bottling it against Hastings United in the final league game, so finishing the season off on a high was a must. I was living in the no mans land of Devon at the time & made the never ending journey up to Woking for the game (quite why the Surrey FA never switched it to Kingsmeadow is beyond me...) with a blind optimism, much like most K's fans pre-match. The Wombles had not long before spent their life savings to line the pockets of our ex-chairman Rajesh 'asset stripping cancer to the world' Kholsa in return for the ownership of Kingsmeadow, although this wasn't exactly their fault it certainly intensified feelings from our side. Martyn Lee's deflected free kick to score the only goal of the game is something I can vividly remember & will never forget (aided by the fact that it is on youtube & I have the DVD of the game). I also ripped the inside leg of my jeans jumping the perimeter fence joining in with the pitch invasion.

Conversely, what was your least favourite?
The game that directly followed my other most favourite game - The infamous (well, to us anyway) Isthmian Premier Play Off final of 2010. Beaten by Boreham Wood at their own ground, our captain Francis Duku got punched by one of their legions of chavs supporting them for the day inbetween random outbursts of "no surrender to the IRA" from the Wood 'ultras' & at full time instead of running on to the pitch to celebrate their team's promotion - the majority of the scummy bastards decided to bypass all 11 of the Boreham Wood players & run over to where the Kingstonian fans were to try & start fights. All in all not a great day out but what really made things worse is that our appeal to the FA & the Isthmian League over Dukugate ended up with the FA ruling that in future they will give Boreham Wood "advice on how to operate big fixtures in the future".

What is interesting about your club and what (more) could be done to get more floating fans involved?
I think the most interesting thing about us at the moment is that we are AFC Wimbledon's bitches & the only way the floating fan is going to see us as a better alternative to supporting them is when they finally go home.

If you didn't support them, who would you support and why?
Well, as detailed before I used to 'support' Man United before I had any real football knowledge so either them *shudder* or Plymouth Argyle, because I was born there & they were my nearest league team when I moved back that way for a bit.

What's the best match you've been to where your club hasn't been involved?
Olympic football final at Wembley where Mexico beat Brazil. Obviously football at the Olympics is about as important to the sport as contraception is to the pope but it was a good day out despite being sat directly behind a Mexican dude with a needlessly oversized sombrero that he did not remove for the vast majority of the game. Being involved in a genuine Mexican wave was cool too.

Moving onto the forum...

Favourite part of the forum and why?
Obviously it's this one... non league football is infinitely more interesting & varied then all that crap above it. Reading about how AFC Rushden & Diamonds or Darlington just dicked a pub team or what ex-league side is in the shit now is so much more entertaining then any of the alternatives.

Least favourite part of the forum and why?
I don't really read any other parts of the forum except for the computer games part, which I also enjoy. Can't be arsed with Prem, Champ, or L1. Occasionally peek at L2 to see what the Wombles are up too.

Favourite member and why?
Bit of a random one but Jared, he's alright for a Sutton fan.

Least favourite member and why?
Jared. It's a love-hate relationship.

General info...

What do you do for a living?
I design bathrooms & kitchens. Then sell them.

What's your favourite food and drink? And your least?
Favourite food: Bacon & egg sandwiches, drink: blue Red Bull. Least favourite food is anything that tastes remotely like liquorice or coconut... drinks it would be anything that has elderflower in it.

How would you rate yourself on attractiveness?
Somewhere between Martin Keown & Peter Beardsley.

Any relationship stories?
The only interesting thing that springs to mind is I got dumped for dying my hair green when I was 15. I was clearly far too cool for her.

What's your most embarrassing moment?
being told the morning after the night before that I tea bagged one of my sleeping mates on about 4 occasions throughout the night on my stag do. Most people found that pretty fucking funny but I'm not usually the sort of person to whip his junk out in front of people.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
World dictator. Failing that then as long as me, my wife & my daughter who will be almost 5 by this point are all alive & healthy it's all good.

Who do you deem to be the worst human being on the planet at this moment and why?
The wife made me watch a shit load of celebrity big brother this year... that Perez Hilton fella is a right prick. Also a 'worst human being' question can't go incomplete without mentioning the one man who basically masterminded the death/relocation of one club, indirectly causing birth of another which itself is unintentionally slowly bleeding another club to death - Pete Wankelman.
 

Aberstone

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1FF User-submitted questions...

To those 1FF members who don't know, if you could compare the Isthmian League to anything, what would it be and why?
It's like methadone to a heroin addict.

If you could have sex with 3 celebrities who would they be?
Honestly, I couldn't really answer this question.

How many balloons are there in your avatar?
I've spent far too long trying to count this. Whoever asked that question, congratulations for wasting 5 minutes of my life.

Is there anything audacious other than an audacious chip?
Always preferred aerial acrobatic goals myself or a good ol' long range free kick going in.

Who do you think is the hardest 1FFer? And who's the cleverest? And who's the nicest?
This is 3 questions... I'm not happy with the rule breaching here. We need to stick to the rules otherwise it'll just be anarchy.

What is your opinion on non league dogs?
They obviously helped boost the merchandise sales at Mansfield Town, maybe now they can afford to come to Kingston to give us that friendly match they still owe us for Giles Coke (Mansfield, not the non league dogs. Although at the very least send the dogs.)

Would you rather have no big toes or a third nipple?
Third nipple. My balance is generally bad enough without the need to make it worse.

What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
Dude, they both weigh a ton.

Please can you draw a picture of something and upload it? Anything you want.
I have no access to pen or paper right now, can I photoshop something for you?

My first reactions when I heard that the Wombles were in the running for the Greyhound Stadium:

wombles.png


Half and half scarves are the biggest abomination in football. Discuss.
Totally agree... unless you are an American sitting in a 90,000 capacity American Football stadium watching some recently created team with a funny name play a real club in a friendly match. That would make it a sort of acceptable memento of the day for the soccer fans.

Where do you see the club in 5 years time?
Well that entirely depends on what happens to Kingsmeadow. If the Wombles have seriously fucked up & are somehow still here then we'd probably be exactly where we are now, if the Wombles sell the ground to Chelsea then we will probably be screwed over with a high rent, if we move out of Kingsmeadow then we'll probably never be coming back to Kingston. Any of those scenarios will be made marginally better if we could go through them as members of the Conference South, which I feel should be in reach with that sort of time frame.

My favourite Paddy is Paddy McGuinness. Who's yours?
He's actually my favourite Paddy too, other then myself of course. I've always enjoyed anything he has been in.

If you had to meet 3 Non League members who would they be?
Paranoid Pineapple, Jared & Pinknblue. I'm really really lazy & these three support clubs local to Kingstonian (or in the case of PP... Kingstonian), therefor if I was meeting any of them for a pre match pint or something then I wouldn't have to go far.

If you had to ban 3 Non League members who would they be?
Can't we all just get along? :tw:

Pontoonlew, B2TF, Kenny End. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!
kill Kenny End, fuck B2TF & marry Pontoonlew. I've got no real reason for any of these choices other then the amount of O's in Pontoonlew's name somehow made him more alluring.

If football ceased to exist for whatever reason, what sport would you follow?
Handball... it's like football but with hands.

Who is the fittest woman on the planet right now?
My wife.

Reel Big Fish are a really big band, are Reel Small Fish a really small band?
Reel Big Fish are a really awesome band, I've seen them play live so many times! Massive fan of the ska/punk genre. One would assume by laws of physics that Reel Small Fish would actually be quite a small band by comparison, although you'd be completely mindfucked if they used that name ironically & there's like 50 of them on stage.

Who has got the stronger chin, Francis Duku or Carl Froch?
Duku. Always back your own man.

Gun to your head and you have to support either AFC Wimbledon or Sutton. Who do you pick and why?
Try to make a deal with him where I just go support Molesey instead, if that failed then wombles, because the wombles will completely go away eventually but Sutton will always be Sutton.

If you could choose two members from the NL section to start as the leads in a new sitcom, who would you choose and why?
B2TF would be the lead with a special guest appearances from whoever is playing Halifax that weekend as the co-lead. There'd be a lot of :woo: going on.

Southwest trains are fucking shit, aren't they?
Don't get me started. Damn it you got me started. How unbelievably inept can a company that provides a public service be at serving the public?! I have the misfortune of taking the train daily which is enough to make anyone want to jump in front of, instead of getting on, the train but the worst thing of all is the weekends at the moment. Just because it's a weekend in winter does not mean people do not get the train so why the hell do they insist on doing all their engineering work then instead of at night when there's no one around... fuck off & die in a fire SWT.

Every non-league club is tinpot, as much as come clubs will claim otherwise. What is the most tinpot thing about Kingstonian?
Spunking the money from 2 FA Trophy wins on doing up Kingsmeadow to get it up to (then) Football League standards in the 2000/01 season swiftly followed up by relegation out of the Conference.

From an outsider's perspective, it looks like Wimbledon have treated Kingstonian quite well. Can you explain what more you think Wimbledon should have done for you or how precisely they seem to have annoyed your fans so much?
For me it's just frustration that they are here. They've treated us well in terms of keeping us at Kingsmeadow, but as a direct consequence of their arrival in Kingston they instantly became the ultimate band wagon team for many local people including a large proportion of the local youth on the back of the media heightened rise from the ashes story. Basically eclipsed us as the people's local football team from day 1.

Finally, who do you next want to see in the firing line?
B2TF for the :woo:
 

Joe.

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A good read. Less swerving of the questions next time though. ;)

Cheers Aber, well run. B2TF will be a good one.
 

Gilly?

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Good read. Delighted In-Profile is back, always enjoyed these.
 

GTFC1979

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Paddy must be punching well above his weight then I guess, he looks like a cross between Keown and Beardsley, but has married the most beautiful woman in the world!! ;) :D
 

Aberstone

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Teabagging a mate who's asleep on a stag-do, yeah that is pretty fucking funny.
 

Deuce_Bigalow

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Good read that about a member I didn't know much about! Happy to of helped in wasting 5 minutes of your life Paddy :) !
 

Paddy

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Paddy must be punching well above his weight then I guess, he looks like a cross between Keown and Beardsley, but has married the most beautiful woman in the world!! ;) :D

Obviously she's only with me for my money :£

Good read that about a member I didn't know much about! Happy to of helped in wasting 5 minutes of your life Paddy :) !

I'll remember this for when it's your turn. You've made a powerful enemy Deuce, a powerful enemy. Mwahahahahaha.

Good stuff, enjoyable read. Oh, and...



... congrats!

Thanks PP! It certainly is exciting times for me at the moment! Obviously my daughter will be conditioned to be a K's fan from an early age, I'm thinking of employing the Stockholm syndrome technique. & to make sure she doesn't ever jump on the Womble wagon I will tell her stories about how a Womble is a viscous evil creature closely related to the wolverine.
 

JaredSUFC

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Why have I only just seen this? I'm honoured to be both your favourite and least favourite poster. 'Tis an honour. And I maintain you're a closet Sutton supporter. And if it hadn't been for our horrid end-of-season collapse in '98 you would have been an openly Sutton supporter.......
 

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