Operations, what is the worst you have had?

[johnnytodd]

I'm going for a operation today and its quite complex, i hope to return in full health.....while i'm gone i wondered what other people have had and how dangerous or mundane they were.

see you soon xx

 

[eightiesrobin]

Good luck Johnny

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Triple amputation and full torso skin graft, due to shingles.

 

[Monkey]

Triple amputation and full torso skin graft, due to shingles.

I hope i'm not speaking out of turn here, but I don't think you've ever been the same since that. You just spent everyday looking at that thesaurus of yours.

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

No offence taken mate. Nor indeed any slight, slur or provocation. The hard truth is that I'm a shadow of my former self.

 

[Leo]

No offence taken mate. Nor indeed any slight, slur or provocation. The hard truth is that I'm a shadow of my former self.

So....what do you have left ?

 

[Stagat]

A shadow.

 

[Leo]

A shadow.

there must be something physical like a finger, toe or nose surely.....for typing purposes you see.

 

[johnnytodd]

Going down to theater in 10 mins thanks for all the support lads.

all the best xx

 

[Stevencc]

Not one message from a Liverpool fan wishing Johnny well.

Sickening display of tribal behaviour from the Liverpool "fans".

Good luck Johnny, mate.

 

[Leo]

Going down to theater in 10 mins thanks for all the support lads.

all the best xx

Keep well Johnny.....I'll tell you about my operation when your recuperation is over....

 

[johnnytodd]

thanks you 2 i wish i'd voted for you both now.

 

[Leo]

thanks you 2 i wish i'd voted for you both now.

....you mean you didn't even consider me ? Still, return safely....I'll light a candle in anticipation.

 

[Leo]

Just checking that the general anaesthetic has been successful mate..............................................................................

yep, seems to be.

 

[mowgli]

Perforated stomach ulcer that i was lucky to survive when i was 25, my family were told to expect the worse as i bled so much but i have always been a fighter. I remember waking up in intensive care with family at my bedside thinking wtf is going on?

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

i have always been a fighter.

 

[smat]

I remember waking up in intensive care with family at my bedside thinking wtf is going on?

 

[claret50]

Best wishes Johnny, here's to a speedy recovery.

 

[Craig]

Helmand Province, Afghanistan. December 12th 2002.

My unit was charged with clearing a village of suspected Taliban presence. It was my mate Woody's 19th birthday and we were due to rotate back to the world in time for Christmas. Spirits were high but I had a bad feeling about this one.

We went in at dawn with US Apache attack helicopters as back-up. It was supposed to be a routine sweep and we expected no more than half a dozen exhausted Talibs who would give in without much of a fight. Nothing could prepare us for what we encountered that morning.

The village was deserted. We were doing old school house to house searches and house after house we came away with nothing. You'd think at this point we'd begin to relax a bit, to think maybe there was nothing to find in the abandoned homes we were checking. You'd be wrong in that assumption. Something wasn't right. When you'd been in the shit as long as we had you developed an extra sense and you knew when something was awry. Something was wrong with this place. We also knew that British and American military intelligence could be counted upon. If the top brass told us there was something in that village then by god we knew there was going to be something in that village, and there was, something that to this day I have nightmares about.

We'd secured the perimeter of the village within 15 minutes of the operation beginning. We had slowly but surely made our way into the centre of the village and there were only a few buildings left to search. It was then that our we heard it. A horrible noise, a low pitched sound. It sounded like someone was being hurt. Someone gagged maybe so as they could not yell out. We feared the worse. We'd seen the videos but we didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe someone could be so depraved and inhuman.

We approached the house where the noise was emanating from. It didn't cease and whoever was inside was obviously oblivious to our presence. Myself and Woody had drawn the short straw, we were on point and we would be the first in. We looked at each other, this might be it, he gave a nod and I kicked down the door and he rushed in. "Wadrega! wadrega!" I heard him say as I came in behind him. There he was, a young Afghan man was in the corner furiously thrashing away at something, a red pulp surrounded him and he suddenly turned to us, horrified. He uttered something in a terrified voice, something I won't pretend to understand. I directed my torch towards him in the corner, fearing the worse, expecting to see something that would scar me for life, and I did. His penis was still firmly fixed inside the watermelon he had been humping furiously moments before. Woody keeled over and threw up his morning chow. I was numb. The rest of the boys came in and detained the deviant fellow kneeling in front of us. I doubt he got to repeat his vile act again any time soon in Guantanamo Bay.

We were back home for Christmas eve. I surprised my family when I turned up that night. It should have been a joyous occasion but I was suffering from my traumatic experience over there. My homecoming was well and truly ruined at the family party that night when I broke down crying after my aunt brought out the mixed fruit and nut platter that included, you guessed it, sliced watermelon.

Woody went AWOL after Christmas. I haven't spoken to him since, but I hope he is coping with it, some way, somehow.

 

[mistermagic]

3 dextrocardia operations. It's when your heart and one of your lungs are reversed. It needed a month to heal. I then had to have a pacemaker implanted at the ripe old age of 25. It was replaced a couple of years ago. Also had eye operation. Been very lucky that all the operations went very well.

All the best Johnny.

 

[johnnytodd]

Just coming round now a bit groggy but all went well.

Oh and btw can you all call me Jenny now please.


Ta.

 

[Habbinalan]

Helmand Province, Afghanistan. December 12th 2002.

My unit was charged with clearing a village of suspected Taliban presence. It was my mate Woody's 19th birthday and we were due to rotate back to the world in time for Christmas. Spirits were high but I had a bad feeling about this one.

We went in at dawn with US Apache attack helicopters as back-up. It was supposed to be a routine sweep and we expected no more than half a dozen exhausted Talibs who would give in without much of a fight. Nothing could prepare us for what we encountered that morning.

The village was deserted. We were doing old school house to house searches and house after house we came away with nothing. You'd think at this point we'd begin to relax a bit, to think maybe there was nothing to find in the abandoned homes we were checking. You'd be wrong in that assumption. Something wasn't right. When you'd been in the shit as long as we had you developed an extra sense and you knew when something was awry. Something was wrong with this place. We also knew that British and American military intelligence could be counted upon. If the top brass told us there was something in that village then by god we knew there was going to be something in that village, and there was, something that to this day I have nightmares about.

We'd secured the perimeter of the village within 15 minutes of the operation beginning. We had slowly but surely made our way into the centre of the village and there were only a few buildings left to search. It was then that our we heard it. A horrible noise, a low pitched sound. It sounded like someone was being hurt. Someone gagged maybe so as they could not yell out. We feared the worse. We'd seen the videos but we didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe someone could be so depraved and inhuman.

We approached the house where the noise was emanating from. It didn't cease and whoever was inside was obviously oblivious to our presence. Myself and Woody had drawn the short straw, we were on point and we would be the first in. We looked at each other, this might be it, he gave a nod and I kicked down the door and he rushed in. "Wadrega! wadrega!" I heard him say as I came in behind him. There he was, a young Afghan man was in the corner furiously thrashing away at something, a red pulp surrounded him and he suddenly turned to us, horrified. He uttered something in a terrified voice, something I won't pretend to understand. I directed my torch towards him in the corner, fearing the worse, expecting to see something that would scar me for life, and I did. His penis was still firmly fixed inside the watermelon he had been humping furiously moments before. Woody keeled over and threw up his morning chow. I was numb. The rest of the boys came in and detained the deviant fellow kneeling in front of us. I doubt he got to repeat his vile act again any time soon in Guantanamo Bay.

We were back home for Christmas eve. I surprised my family when I turned up that night. It should have been a joyous occasion but I was suffering from my traumatic experience over there. My homecoming was well and truly ruined at the family party that night when I broke down crying after my aunt brought out the mixed fruit and nut platter that included, you guessed it, sliced watermelon.

Woody went AWOL after Christmas. I haven't spoken to him since, but I hope he is coping with it, some way, somehow.

Nice style. It brings to mind:

Crimes of the Moonlight Melonmounter (Cormac McCarthy’s Suttree)

Still Life with Watermelons, Frida Kahlo

"......Two pairs of brogans went along the rows.

You aint goin to believe this.

Knowin you for a born liar I most probably wont.

Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons.

What?

I said somebody has been …

No. No. Hell no. Damn you if you aint got a warped mind.

I’m tellin you …

“I dont want to hear it.

Looky here.

And here.

They went along the outer row of the melonpatch. He stopped to nudge a melon with his toe. Yellowjackets snarled in the seepage. Some were ruined a good time past and lay soft with rot, wrinkled with imminent collapse.

It does look like it, dont it?

I’m tellin ye I seen him. I didnt know what the hell was goin on when he dropped his drawers. Then when I seen what he was up to I still didnt believe it. But yonder they lay.

What do you aim to do?

Hell, I dont know. It’s about too late to do anything. He’s damn near screwed the whole patch. I dont see why he couldnt of stuck to just one. Or a few.

Well, I guess he takes himself for a lover. Sort of like a sailor in a whorehouse.

I reckon what it was he didnt take to the idea of gettin bit on the head of his pecker by one of them waspers. I suppose he showed good judgment there.

What was he, just a young feller?

I dont know about how young he was but he was as active a feller as I’ve seen in a good while.

Well. I dont reckon he’ll be back.

I dont know. A man fast as he is ought not to be qualmy about goin anywheres he took a notion. To steal or whatever.

What if he does come back?

I’ll catch him if he does.

And then what?

Well. I dont know. Be kindly embarrassin now I think about it.

I’d get some work out of him is what I’d do.

Ought to, I reckon. I dont know.

You reckon to call the sheriff?

And tell him what?

They were walking slowly along the rows.

It’s just the damndest thing I ever heard of. Aint it you? What are you grinnin at? It aint funny. A thing like that. To me it aint...."

From Cormac McCarthy’s novel Suttree.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

My brother lost the funny bone, the wish bone and the spare ribs in our set when we were kids so that's probably the worst Operation I can think of.

 

[johnnytodd]

Well i'm home now and the eye is on the mend, vision blurred a little but i should be fine.

Thanks for the good wishes lads it was great help.

JT.

 

[Leo]

Well i'm home now and the eye is on the mend, vision blurred a little but i should be fine.

Thanks for the good wishes lads it was great help.

JT.

Spelling is fine Jenny. Are you still Jenny Johnny or back to Johnny Johnny ?

 

[johnnytodd]

Spelling is fine Jenny. Are you still Jenny Johnny or back to Johnny Johnny ?

I was a bit delusional last night mate and it was a little joke haha

always be Johnny

 

[Abertawe]

Haven't needed one to date as I've got exceptional genes. Big up Johnny T and his eye.

 

[Leo]

Had surgery three times & all could be looked at as 'worst'. First time simply because it was the first time....broken cheek bone due to a car crash. Second time because I didn't know if I would be able to use my right hand again...I fell and as I put out my hands to bear my weight my right hand landed on a whisky tumbler (not mine) with my full weight and sliced my hand open severing tendons and damaging nerves and the third was having my gall bladder removed via keyhole surgery....not much in itself but a couple or so years later the same surgeon operated on two people in the same day and both died & one was undergoing keyhole gall bladder surgery....frightening.

 

[The Mustard Tiger]

That penis reduction that I had last year hit me pretty hard.

 

[Leo]

That penis reduction that I had last year hit me pretty hard.

private was it....get it for a snip ?