Strangest/funniest thing you have heard over a club's PA system

hbk4894

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What is the strangest/funniest thing you have heard over a club's PA system?
 

Deepcut Cobbler

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Bristol Rovers announcer providing details of the bus booking procedures for Wembley after they had beaten us 3-1 in the first play off leg....
 

blade1889

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Phase 1 always brings out a jeer

"(forgotten team) fans travelling on coach B, it is is stuck in traffic from meadowhall. Your shoppings in the boot"

Reading that back I think it's a 'you had to be there' moment
 
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Not football related, but on my first day working on the meat aisle at Tesco when I was a nipper there was an announcement over the speakers "Would Dick on head please come to the office, that's Dick on head to the office".

I thought someone was trying to get sacked, turns out a junior manager was actually called Dickon Head. What the fuck were his parents thinking? "Oi Dick Head, bath time".
 

BeeArmy

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Northampton a few weeks back.

They played a clapping noise over the PA system that we could hear in the away end. They also said to be careful when exiting the ground because there were puddles.
 

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Not the fault of the stadium announcer, but last season we had the bizarre spectacle of presenting a rookie left back we'd signed on loan from Sheff-Wed at half-time as though we were Real Madrid presenting our latest galactico.
 

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We had a BBC film crew turn up at Adams Park one time to record the title track to some new programme, I can't recall whether it was some tacky show about footballer WAGS or about dubious football financial shenanigans but the title was "Spend It Like Beckham".

Anyway. So the BBC wanted to record a football crowd singing that title, and chose the Adams Park choir as their recording artists.

Our stadium announcer, who had all the self-awareness and the exact vocal tone of Alan Partridge, explained what was required, and then burst into tuneless "song" to show all of us what to do.

Minor problem: he was met by a wall of silence, slowly progressing through embarrassed laughter, followed by outright jeers.

To give the announcer his due, he tried on his own for a good 2 minutes (which felt like an excruciating eternity) before giving up the ghost, and the Beeb crew sodding off empty handed.
 

Kenneth E End

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Not our PA system, but apparently at Kettering a few years ago now when we played there, the then Chairman Imran Ladak took over the tannoy and said at the end of the game after they had 2 players (justifiably) sent off:

"Today's man-of-the-match, sponsored by Specsavers, is the ref".

Cue laughter from the Luton fans in the stands.
 

Hatter86

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The Pompey announcer, fairly enthusiastically, proclaimed they had gone one nil up after a freekick was curled into the side netting. I believe some music started playing. after a few painful seconds he had issue an apology. Was barracked by both sets of fans for the rest of the game.
 
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Kenneth E End

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The Pompey announcer, fairly enthusiastically, proclaimed they had gone one nil up after a freekick was curled into the side netting. I believe some music started playing. after a few painful seconds he had issue an apology. Was barracked by both sets of fans for the rest of the game.
This was quite funny. Was a great atmosphere all round that game - some great banter between the sets of supporters, especially the infamous shirt removal incident! Probably the best atmosphere I've seen for a fair while.
 

ThisTinpotLeague

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We had a BBC film crew turn up at Adams Park one time to record the title track to some new programme, I can't recall whether it was some tacky show about footballer WAGS or about dubious football financial shenanigans but the title was "Spend It Like Beckham".

Anyway. So the BBC wanted to record a football crowd singing that title, and chose the Adams Park choir as their recording artists.

Our stadium announcer, who had all the self-awareness and the exact vocal tone of Alan Partridge, explained what was required, and then burst into tuneless "song" to show all of us what to do.

Minor problem: he was met by a wall of silence, slowly progressing through embarrassed laughter, followed by outright jeers.

To give the announcer his due, he tried on his own for a good 2 minutes (which felt like an excruciating eternity) before giving up the ghost, and the Beeb crew sodding off empty handed.

This sounds incredible.
 

Deepcut Cobbler

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Northampton a few weeks back.

They played a clapping noise over the PA system that we could hear in the away end. They also said to be careful when exiting the ground because there were puddles.

The 'clapping noise' was the PA announcer leaving the mike on whilst standing in amongst the home crowd...
The puddles are infamous at Sixfields since we opened the stadium...never heard him issue a warning before though, must have been a new Health and Safety initiative..
 

WAP

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The Pompey announcer, fairly enthusiastically, proclaimed they had gone one nil up after a freekick was curled into the side netting. I believe some music started playing. after a few painful seconds he had issue an apology. Was barracked by both sets of fans for the rest of the game.

Was cringing so hard at the time. Wouldn't have been music played as we don't do goal music but would have heard "goalscorer for Pompey Ben Davies sponsored by the window warehouse".
 

E10rifle

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Enjoyed some poor provincial bastard (possibly at Cheltenham) struggling through our line-up when we had Tamika Mkandawire, Jabo Ibehre and Efe Echanomi in the same 16. He got 0/6.

But my favourite was our PA being forced to publicly sarcastically thank Darius Henderson for turning up at half time during a game last season on behalf of the Chairman. It was great partly because of the utter lack of professionalism from Becchetti, but mostly because our PA is an absolute cock-end and the way he squirmed was delightful.
 

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djs

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Not our PA system, but apparently at Kettering a few years ago now when we played there, the then Chairman Imran Ladak took over the tannoy and said at the end of the game after they had 2 players (justifiably) sent off:

"Today's man-of-the-match, sponsored by Specsavers, is the ref".

Cue laughter from the Luton fans in the stands.



I was there and can confirm that this happened. And yes, the two reds were pretty blatant.

Many years ago we played at Oxford on a miserable wet dark night at Oxford's Manor Ground. I think it was a goalless draw, with both sides lucky to score nil. As we were leaving the ground, the Oxford chairman took to the tannoy to apologise for the dreadful standard of the game.
 

Kenneth E End

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There were also people in the crowd waving money at Amir when he was fielding near the boundary.
Not sure what to make of this to be honest. There was no 'fix' on - it was a newspaper sting after they had a tip off that some Pakistani players were allegedly complicit in taking corrupt payments. They fell for it.

That said, I don't want the three perpetrators to be back in the country. In my opinion, they should be denied a visa to even travel.
 

Richard Cranium

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Pretty sure I've posted this before but when we played Exeter away last season we were 2-0 up at half time. Exeter scored in the second half and it finished 2-1. Whoever was on the tannoy said "Oh well, At least we won the second half"
 

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Carlisle the year we finished 3rd to go up last game of season, pa bloke, can Darren smith answer your phone, your wife is in hospital she's gone into labour ! All the crowd cheered!!! To be fair it was a 50/50 decision child birth or football ;)
 

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Notice that nobody has mentioned our announcer at Sixfields? Probably because he doesn't know how to use the microphone that no one can hear/understand what he is saying. We all thought that it was something wrong with the system until John Motson was a guest at a game and was invited to say a few words over the same mike, we heard and understood every single word!
 

EricSabin

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Notice that nobody has mentioned our announcer at Sixfields? Probably because he doesn't know how to use the microphone that no one can hear/understand what he is saying. We all thought that it was something wrong with the system until John Motson was a guest at a game and was invited to say a few words over the same mike, we heard and understood every single word!

I understand three words he says, when he's welcoming the teams out on to the pitch. They are "Annnnd, Northampton Town!".
 

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