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2019/20 shan off the gaffa race

Craig Harrison

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Reet am startin this off as am back in the market and am lookin for a geet massai club in the top tier of english foota. am ready for the big time and a thought ad give yers an update and give mesel maximum exposure as a knaa this is the uk most popula foota forum in the world, aal them bots, their nee bots like, there chairman scootin oot potential leadaz and they aal knaa am that gadge like but mebees they need to find oot what am up to like before they gan on the blowa.

Am a legend in Cymru like and me star has shone and keeps deein just that. Am gaffa at Connaz Quay Nomadz. A led the club 3rd place with a geet budget aboot the same as the GDP of Switzerland. As ya knaa am a UEFA A badgaz holda, av got aal the badgaz like and a use science a lot in me day to day job. Am a pioneer of using jaw lines and dental records to pick playaz but av got a new angle. Aal the top one gaffaz in the world (mesel) have to innovate or we neva gan again.

A wos inspired by the Nomadz title thingy so a looked at nomadic animals like and a took the DNA of camels, the DNA gadge in Rhyl helped us oot so ta for that pal, he sourced oot the local population in north Cymru fr tests like so am givin the lad some credit. He'd be me assistant when a walk into yer club come pre season. So what does this mean for ya club? This is how a got Nomadz buzzin this year:

Camelz can gan withoot wata for days. Yer players will too, it's a long season of coonty cups, Trophy and league and stamina is gonna be vital.

Camelz store fat and wata in their humps so yer playaz will keep hydrated by lookin like this (left sidad one):

1557997244821.png


Camels eaz are covad in hair and stats show that they keep oot them pesky long diagonal baalz so with a bit of regain from Toni&Guy (am in affiliation with them) so will work in aal casaz.

Playaz will get lip boostaz as with their desert ancestaz, they have geet lips like. This maintains the defensive line and helps us win them second and third baalz aroond the touchline.

Aal yer playaz will gan to Harley Street to get a massai bone attached to the heed like so when we whip in them crossaz theyve an advantage gettin aheed of the non boned markaz

Aalso at Harley Street, includad in the cost is a nostril widening operation. Lets aal that fresh air from post industrial shitholes gannin in so we can blow away them direct baalz owa the top with geet fuckin gusto.

Obviously we'll gan aal owa on camel back. This is us on the way to Prestayn Town in the Elizabeth Gaskell Charity Cup. Kit on the back like as yers can see:

1557997951293.png


So this is me vision, me mastaplan. Am the greatest gaffa youve neva eva eva had like but nowz yer chance. Forwad this on to yer chairman like and am waitin for yer call. Me CV is below. Cheaz.

http://onefootballforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/sack-race-2018-19.12113/page-41#post-750777
 

rudebwoyben

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This is possibly the greatest post ever made on here.
 

chipmunx

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tried to read that - but i think my Babel Fish must be broken.....
 

DontBringBertie

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Steve McNulty was no older than 32 when that photo was taken. Ridiculous.
 

Vanni

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Hello again Craig mate. I know you're eager for another opportunity to manage a proper club like, but aren't you forgetting you've got to honour that contract you signed with the Nomads like? And do you really want to leave Connahs when they'll be playing Europa League football come June? :doh:

FAO everybody else, but esp. club chairmen/owners/whatever, if you're interested in learning more about our Mr Harrison then I highly recommend giving this podcast here a listen.

https://www.wpl.cymru/news/JDWPL-Dod-i-Nabod-Get-to-Know-Episode-1-Craig-Harrison/117067/
 

Chief Rocka

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Craig Harrison

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Hello again Craig mate. I know you're eager for another opportunity to manage a proper club like, but aren't you forgetting you've got to honour that contract you signed with the Nomads like? And do you really want to leave Connahs when they'll be playing Europa League football come June? :doh:

FAO everybody else, but esp. club chairmen/owners/whatever, if you're interested in learning more about our Mr Harrison then I highly recommend giving this podcast here a listen.

https://www.wpl.cymru/news/JDWPL-Dod-i-Nabod-Get-to-Know-Episode-1-Craig-Harrison/117067/

Divvent be wet man.There's nee loyalty in foota, everyone knaas that like. A cannit waste me time on that. Pools shanned us off despite us gettin them to their best league position for many year. A wos anly 5 transfer windaz from buildin a mid table side. Nee patience. Am betta than that, a won 13 maja honaz in Cymru and am ready for the nashunal like. Am a born winna.

Aalso av managed in the Champions League before, av won the same number of them as Tony Pulis so av achieved aal a can there. Europa league again, completed it pal. Me trophy record in that stands as the same as Pep Guardiola so it's obvious am a legend of the game. But am lookin to betta me record in France. Av neva won there, and am targetin wins at Athletique Clube De Douvres et L'Unione de Gravesend et Northfleet. Once av done that, a divvent knaa wot else a can achieve in the game.
 

Vanni

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Braintree are more or less on a par with the Nomads, so I doubt Mr Harrison would be interested in going there. Would be a sideways move at best.

Personally, I hope he bides his time and waits until one of the bigger clubs come calling, and believe me, they will. People cannot expect managers to perform miracles at clubs with playing budgets that are <1 million/p.a. IMO.
 

Soup Ladle

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Jamie Fullerton departs FC Tinpotfax 2008

Craig Harrison is the bookie’s favourite.
 

EnglishRed

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No doubt in my mind Craig was the mastermind behind Nomads defeat of Kilmarnock.
 

B2TF

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Jamie Fullerton departs FC Tinpotfax 2008

Craig Harrison is the bookie’s favourite.

Some fans are threatening to chuck their season tickets in the bin if he gets the job. Aspin is the fans favourite, he wants to come back but the board will have to go crawling to him and apologise first.......
 

Soup Ladle

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No doubt in my mind Craig was the mastermind behind Nomads defeat of Kilmarnock.

I thought he was still the manager there but appears not?? Can't find any info online what happened to him, and obviously Nomadz are tinpot so they don't have a message board.
 

Soup Ladle

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Some fans are threatening to chuck their season tickets in the bin if he gets the job. Aspin is the fans favourite, he wants to come back but the board will have to go crawling to him and apologise first.......

#announceharrison
 

B2TF

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I thought he was still the manager there but appears not?? Can't find any info online what happened to him, and obviously Nomadz are tinpot so they don't have a message board.

That's a good rule of thumb for Tin Pottery, also those that have one but may as well not bother- Harrogate's has had just 60 comments since 1st of May, that's not even 1 a day, and non at all between 20th June and 14th July. Honestly, if I didn't post on there the whole thing would just collapse in on itself. :fl:This is a club that made the play-offs last year and is chucking even more money at it this year. What for! Nobody gives a fuck.
 

shoddycollins

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That's a good rule of thumb for Tin Pottery, also those that have one but may as well not bother- Harrogate's has had just 60 comments since 1st of May, that's not even 1 a day, and non at all between 20th June and 14th July. Honestly, if I didn't post on there the whole thing would just collapse in on itself. :fl:This is a club that made the play-offs last year and is chucking even more money at it this year. What for! Nobody gives a fuck.
Yeovil don't have one and neither do Fleetwood
 

Master D

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Jon Stead player-manager.
 

jbet

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But are you ITK? :whistle:

Not on stuff relating to tinpot clubs who are going to reappoint someone who was of the most negative managers in our history.
 

B2TF

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Ha! I was asked to put Aspins name out there while they worked on bringing the man they really wanted on board. :ds:
 

Master D

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Well that's one relegation place sorted then.
 

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