Britain's Best City

[Look Out There Are Llamas]

I once slept in a cemetery in Hull. Half the reason it got my negative vote...

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

35. Inverness

C&B Opinion: Further away than Australia so it makes it an unlikely holiday destination for me.

Description: As it's position suggests, it wasn't a big hitter in this poll. It's name is derived from the Gaelic for "In The Fucking River Ness" and is considered the capital of the Highlands, a great honour to have much like TB being the king of diseases. The traditional industry here is distilling. I'd need a drink too.

Famous People: Yvette Cooper, Charles Kennedy and Mr Egg (yep, I have no idea either).

C&B Fact: Loch Ness is nearby and for reasons I don't understand, it never freezes. Amazing!

35. Plymouth

C&B Opinion: Too far away, strange accent

Description: Situated in Devon but on the boundary with Cornwall, Plymouth gained its city status in 1928. It has a population of 261k but because of years of inbreeding, there are only about 15 distinct families there. There is a Wrigley's factory there and produces over 3m packets a day.

Famous People: Dawn French, Sharron Davies, Scott of the Antarctic

C&B Fact: Remains from humans (6 fingered, of course), hyenas and even rhinoceri were found in a cave there in 1886.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

34. Wakefield

C&B Opinion: It's a city? Who knew.

Description: Another Yorkshire city, there's hundreds of them! It's thought the name is derived from "Waca's Field". Who Waca was, no one knows but it sounds like a nickname for a footballer. Vehicle theft is about 50% above the national average, which is strange seeing as people still use horse and cart here.

Famous People: Geoffrey Boycott, Helen Worth

C&B Fact: There's a museum of mental health in Wakefield...sounds great!

 

[Ebeneezer Goode]

I once slept in a cemetery in Hull. Half the reason it got my negative vote...

Near KC? I used to get trashed in there before we went to fair as a teenager. Those were the days...

 

[Aber gas]

How did I forget Stoke. I have a few friends from there it is a truly awful City from the few times I've visited. Sorry Dave!

Gloucester is alright surprised someone would have it on their dislike list.

It was me TN . Horrible place

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

32. Birmingham

C&B Opinion: God bless the M6 Toll

Description: Britain's second city, Birmingham is in the West Midlands. Along with Scouse, Brummie is the most annoying accent in England and has some of the most deprived areas in Britain. Even so, 3 people ranked this in their top 5. Birmingham was at the heart of the Industrial Revolution which saw it expand massively.

Famous People: John Cadbury, Barbara Cartland, Jasper Carrott

C&B Fact: The pneumatic tyre was invented by Dunlop in Birmingham.

32. Worcester

C&B Opinion: Any place that invents something like Worcestershire Sauce can't be bad

Description: Along with its neighbour, Birmingham, Worcester shares 32nd place. It was the location of the battle where Oliver Cromwell defeated Charles II and also the Lea & Perrins sauce factory (have I mentioned how tasty that stuff is?). Historically, it was famous for its glove making.

Famous People: Kit Harington, William Morris

C&B Fact: Berrow's Journal is the oldest surviving newspaper in the world, published weekly since 1709.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

That's your lot for tonight...back tomorrow

 

[johnnytodd]

Beverley

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Just a quick update one the standings so far:

 

[mnb089mnb]

C&B Fact: Catherine of Aragon is buried there. Even in death the poor women is a tortured soul.

When Henry exiled her she was sent to Bracknell.

I've got loads of Bracknell facts, but alas, we are not yet a city.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

When Henry exiled her she was sent to Bracknell.

I've got loads of Bracknell facts, but alas, we are not yet a city.

It never rains ay?

 

[Van Der Graaf]

When Henry exiled her she was sent to Bracknell.

I've got loads of Bracknell facts, but alas, we are not yet a city.

As if it couldn't get any worse for her....

Derby is a decent place, the nightlife is surprisingly good on my sample of a whole one night out that started in Rescue Rooms until someone we met suggested we go for a night out in Derby....How I made my 9am the next day I'll never know, painful on the ol' bank account though.

 

[Camborne Gills]

Who ever described anywhere in Essex as beautiful?

56. Chelmsford

View attachment 2837
C&B Opinion: An absolute cesspool full of morons who ruin my day each time I board a train that stops at this dive.

Description: One of the UK's newest cities, it sits in the middle of, and is the scar on the face of, the beautiful county of Essex. The demonym for a Chelmsford resident is officially "Twat". It's also the home of radio with Marconi opened his wireless factory there.

Famous People: Grayson Perry, Nigel Spink

C&B Fact: Location, Location, Location voted Chelmsford as the 8th best place to live proving that Kirstie and Phil are a pair of bellends.

 

[Camborne Gills]

I always thought that Boycott were born near Barnsley 34. Wakefield

View attachment 2844
C&B Opinion: It's a city? Who knew.

Description: Another Yorkshire city, there's hundreds of them! It's thought the name is derived from "Waca's Field". Who Waca was, no one knows but it sounds like a nickname for a footballer. Vehicle theft is about 50% above the national average, which is strange seeing as people still use horse and cart here.

Famous People: Geoffrey Boycott, Helen Worth

C&B Fact: There's a museum of mental health in Wakefield...sounds great!

 

[Craig]

Fitzwilliam, between Barnsley and Wakefield. Wakefield being the closest city to Barnsley like.

 

[blade1889]

Who ever described anywhere in Essex as beautiful?

Someone with fake tan in their eyes

 

[Martino Knockavelli]

Not to brown-nose, but good show, C&B. As an experienced organiser of highly successful forum activities I know precisely how much under- (or perhaps un-) appreciated work goes on behind the scenes to make these things happen, and the quality and scope of your textual and graphical presentations is unequivocally commendable. Not everyone is equipped to admininster this sort of thing (as recent debacles such as the "1FF'S 71 Favourite westerns" list revealed in all too graphic fashion), but you, evidently, are. And abundantly so. I truly believe that were David Cameron to see what you (and indeed we) have achieved here, he would agree that it is a greatly gladsome expression of his concept of 'The Big Society' in most splendid action. Thanks.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

I wondered how long it'd be before people questioned my Wikipedia-based facts.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Who ever described anywhere in Essex as beautiful?

As you can see from the whole feature thus far, I have been fair and considerate to the cities in question, and not at all exaggerated in my write ups...

Saying all that, parts of Essex are beautiful, especially in the northern/eastern parts. There are some stunning villages and even Britain's oldest town in Colchester.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

Not to brown-nose, but good show, C&B. As an experienced organiser of highly successful forum activities I know precisely how much under- (or perhaps un-) appreciated work goes on behind the scenes to make these things happen, and the quality and scope of your textual and graphical presentations is unequivocally commendable. Not everyone is equipped to admininster this sort of thing (as recent debacles such as the "1FF'S 71 Favourite westerns" list revealed in all too graphic fashion), but you, evidently, are. And abundantly so. I truly believe that were David Cameron to see what you (and indeed we) have achieved here, he would agree that it is a greatly gladsome expression of his concept of 'The Big Society' in most splendid action. Thanks.

Thank you kind sir, have a like.
I took on this mammoth task knowing that I had to do it justice and as such, I was thorough in my research and felt I had to make it professional in its appearance. I'm pleased with the outcome, so far, I'm glad you are too.

 

[Veggie Legs]

Birmingham is the first out from my list. Fun place to live as a student, I think the city's got an unfairly bad reputation.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

31. Preston

C&B Opinion: Only ever been to the train station

Description: Preston became England's 50th city in 2002 and sits on the bank of the River Ribble. It appears in the Doomsday book as Prestune. Why did they ever change it?? Dicken's novel, Hard Times was inspired by Preston when 26,000 people were put out of work. If Dickens was alive today, I think it's safe to say there'd be a sequel.

Famous People: Clarke Carlisle, Phil Jones, Tim Farron

C&B Fact: Preston was the first place deemed by-passable via motorway. The bypass now forms part of the M6.

 

[yellow]

Description of Plymouth is spot on.

 

[ThisTinpotLeague]

Fantastic to see Birmingham below Preston. Democracy works, guys.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

30. Glasgow

C&B Opinion: Go West! The East is a scary place

Description: Glasgow is Scotland's biggest city and its inhabitants have the lowest life expectancy of any UK city at about 42 years. Its most famous claim to fame is perhaps the inventor of the Chicken Tikka Masala where a bloke thought his curry was too dry so wanted a gravy with it. Sounds like bollocks to me, incidentally, also a major ingredient of another Scottish delicacy, Haggis.

Famous People: Doner Van Donovan, Gregor Fisher, James Watt

C&B Fact: 7 Turner prize winning artists have links to Glasgow so it's true that out of chaos comes beauty.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

29. Wells

C&B Opinion: Never been, looks lovely

Description: Well, well, well, England's smallest city, Wells is in Somerset and gets its name from 3 wells dedicated to Saint Andrew. Close by are the Wookey Hole Caves where Chewbaca lives when he's not fighting Mr. Vader. Beeching's axe fell on Wells and is strange in that it has no rail link.

Famous People: Harry Patch, Kris Marshall

C&B Fact: The clock on the cathedral is considered to be the second oldest in Britain, with the original works made around 1390. Good old British engineering there.

 

[mowgli]

29. Wells

View attachment 2851

C&B Opinion: Never been, looks lovely

Description: Well, well, well, England's smallest city, Wells is in Somerset and gets its name from 3 wells dedicated to Saint Andrew. Close by are the Wookey Hole Caves where Chewbaca lives when he's not fighting Mr. Vader. Beeching's axe fell on Wells and is strange in that it has no rail link.

Famous People: Harry Patch, Kris Marshall

C&B Fact: The clock on the cathedral is considered to be the second oldest in Britain, with the original works made around 1390. Good old British engineering there.

The clock was stolen from Glastonbury Abbey after Henry VIII decided to burn it down but the cathedral refuses to return it to Glastonbury.

 

[Krazy8]

The clock was stolen from Glastonbury Abbey after Henry VIII decided to burn it down but the cathedral refuses to return it to Glastonbury.

Bastards.

 

[Nath]

Well, all the others.

Agree with you on Belfast, aye. Surprised nobody at all chose it. Did Renegade not enter a list?

It's a shit hole.

 

[Cheese & Biscuits]

26. Lancaster

C&B Opinion: Meh

Description: The county town of Lancashire, Lancaster is a small city in the north-west of England and with the quirks of this silly scoring system, places higher than Wells even though only 1 person rated it. The port in Lancaster was a key one in the UK slave trade. A proud moment for this most excellent city.

Famous People: James Beattie, Jon Richardson

C&B Fact: The term 'dinosaur' was coined by a bloke from Lancaster, Richard Owen. It means terrible lizzard and if you've seen the women of Lancaster, you'll see why.

26. Sheffield

C&B Opinion: Went to Meadowhall once and watched a game of football at the athletics ground when Rotherham were there. Neither shouted "lovely place" to me.

Description: One of the many cities in Yorkshire, Sheffield is perhaps one of the least likely to feature highly on many people's lists. It's also the only one to have "LOL" under the culture section of its Wikipedia page. It's name comes from the River Sheaf, named because it looks like a blown up condom. It's probably best known for its steel production and naked northerners in The Full Monty.

Famous People: Sean Bean, Joe Cocker, Mickey Adams

C&B Fact: A fish cake in sheffield is a fish sandwich with the 'bread' being potato and deep fried. Sounds as horrible as the place itself.

26. St. David's

C&B Opinion: I'm annoyed that some sod voted for it at the 11th hour meaning a write-up on a place I've never heard of.

Description: Situating at the westernly tip of Wales, St. David's is Britain's smallest city. St. David's lies on the River Alun, confirming that Welsh people love to name things after their uncles. No doubt there's a castle called Clive and a park called Nigel close by. It is of course named after the patron saint of Wales, St David, and it's apparently his last resting place.

Famous People: Are you kidding me? There's about 12 people who live there.

C&B Fact: St David, or Dewi, was educated in Cardiganshire, confirming that link to uncles, who love a good cardigan.