Doing a Poo - Which one are you?

mnb089mnb

Ian
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
1,891
Reaction score
1,947
Points
113
Location
Bet365
Supports
Coral.co.uk & Ladbrokes.com
Twitter
@taylorswift13
maxresdefault.jpg


Must admit, I've been batting quite a high average these past few years. I'm guessing diet and age catching up with me.
 

spireite

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,630
Reaction score
1,390
Points
113
Supports
Chesterfield
Around type 3 or 4 typically I would say. How annoying is it though when you that poop. You know, the one where you wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and still.. poop
 

Pagnell

Pick Up The Gun
Joined
Jan 30, 2015
Messages
7,013
Reaction score
2,295
Points
113
Supports
.
Type 7. Fizzy gravy.
 

yellow

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2015
Messages
1,822
Reaction score
486
Points
83
Supports
Torquay
how satisfying is the perfect poo!?
 

slaphead

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
1,703
Reaction score
929
Points
113
Location
Basingstoke
Supports
Aldershot Town
Ahh, my favourite thread, open to the masses.

Usually a gentle 3 or 4. However, just returned from Egypt and currently experiencing the aftermath of Rameses Revenge due to a combination of shitty beer, dodgy curries and hot weather. Definitely been a type 7 for about a week, but I'm not sure about a shower, a fire hose was more appropriate. Still, things are slowly returning to normal and I long for the day I can have a nice long slow number 3 with minimal effort.
 

mistermagic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,989
Reaction score
636
Points
113
Supports
Stoke City (I don't make the rules, Epic73 does)
Twitter
@FinallyFifou
3. Need much more than 4-5 wipes though.
 

T.A

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,812
Reaction score
1,622
Points
113
Supports
Berry
Having Crohn's it's a complete surprise every time.
 
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
4,776
Reaction score
1,756
Points
113
Location
Walsall
Supports
Dr Tony's Villa Revolution
Just did a number 3, 6 wipes. (7th was clean)

Very satisfying poo.
 

Pliny Harris

Frightened Inmate #2
Site Supporter
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
1,857
Reaction score
1,511
Points
113
Location
Western Cumbria
Supports
The Provisional Brotherhood
Type three, out of the hatch faster than a Chelsea manager. 'Mirite lads?
 

Ebeneezer Goode

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,657
Reaction score
1,541
Points
113
Supports
England
Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Red

SALTIRE

Slàinte mhath!
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
14,542
Reaction score
3,032
Points
113
Location
Speyside
Supports
A guid dram
I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid! :D
 

Blitzballer

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
2,037
Reaction score
1,079
Points
113
Location
Birmingham
Supports
Aston Villa
Anything between 1 and 4.
Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid
 

Red

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
2,536
Reaction score
1,110
Points
113
Location
Chesterfield
Supports
Opposing the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre!!!!
Even with Malteser shits, what sort of savage doesn't wipe?

:lol: savage.

I never check, why the hell would I look at it!?! Was kind of forced to today however as it landed sideways and took four flushes to get rid! :D

You should check. I saw the face of Jesus in one of my plops once. I reported it to the churxh of England, but I never got a reply.

I'm a 3-4 man on the scale. I've found shitting to be an irksome undertaking now I'm in my mid 40s. When I was younger I could knock a shit out in 30 seconds flat and not have to return a few seconds later when I'd concluded that the act was not completed.

Now, I'm on the bog for around 8-10 minutes.
 

SALTIRE

Slàinte mhath!
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
14,542
Reaction score
3,032
Points
113
Location
Speyside
Supports
A guid dram
Ate too much yesterday, must've had four bad boys, and then first thing this morning as well! Been averaging one/day latterly. May start a record of it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Red

slaphead

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
1,703
Reaction score
929
Points
113
Location
Basingstoke
Supports
Aldershot Town
Mind you when I had a three day bender I was shitting just a yellow liquid and it stung my ring piece whilst passing. Almost like a yellow acid

Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.
 

Blitzballer

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
2,037
Reaction score
1,079
Points
113
Location
Birmingham
Supports
Aston Villa
Might I suggest this scenario calls for Johnsons babywipes with a hint of Aleo Vera. Brings soothing loveliness to the tortured sphincter.
LOL already ahead of you, although I don't have the ones with Aleo Vera.
A wet wipe is seriously satisfying after a painful dump. When it touches your ring piece I can almost imagine it sizzling
 

Ebeneezer Goode

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,657
Reaction score
1,541
Points
113
Supports
England
Put a toilet roll in the fridge the night before.
 

Stevencc

Site Supporter
Site Supporter
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
13,242
Reaction score
7,221
Points
113
Location
°
Supports
°
Then you run the risk of getting so pissed that you end up eating it.
 

SALTIRE

Slàinte mhath!
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
14,542
Reaction score
3,032
Points
113
Location
Speyside
Supports
A guid dram
Had a sore one earlier tonight, wouldn't come out and then it had a sharp edge when it did! :eek:

Will probably be due another one soon, just had a mushroom strudel at this time of night - I know I'm going to regret it later on! :D
 

Stevencc

Site Supporter
Site Supporter
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
13,242
Reaction score
7,221
Points
113
Location
°
Supports
°
I dropped a 6 earlier. Too many beers lately.
 

PaulHaddock

people person
Joined
Apr 27, 2015
Messages
3,835
Reaction score
1,710
Points
113
Location
Nottingham
Supports
Grimsby
Worst ones are the clingons that don't come off no matter how much shuffling.
 
Stronger Security, Faster Connections with VPN at IPVanish.com!

Forum statistics

Threads
16,098
Messages
1,116,049
Members
7,183
Latest member
BaoTrade

Latest posts

Top