Doing a Poo - Which one are you?

Blitzballer

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Had a sore one earlier tonight, wouldn't come out and then it had a sharp edge when it did! :eek:

Will probably be due another one soon, just had a mushroom strudel at this time of night - I know I'm going to regret it later on! :D

Might be an anal fissure mate. I've had a few before. Painful I know :bg:
 

mowgli

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Ate a curry last night and this morning shat out a log so large it's blocked my bog :(
 

Red

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Ate a curry last night and this morning shat out a log so large it's blocked my bog :(

I've been hoping someone in this thread would say this because it gives me the opportunity to show off my knowledge of how to easily unblock your toilet.

For clarity I'll be using the world shitter to denote a toilet, not an anus.

Don't spend money on a plumber, or ringing the council to have your shitter unblocked. Simply tie a plastic carrier bag tightly around the head of a mop and ram it down your shitter a couple of times. It really does work....NO SHIT.

Once, when I didn't have any kronk roll I used kitchen roll. I didn't know it was a no no and when I flushed the water nearly went over the rim and stayed there.

I got the old mop and carrier bag out and in seconds dealt with the problem.

Thank me later when you've unblocked your shit.
 

sl1k

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For clarity I'll be using the world shitter to denote a toilet, not an anus.

Don't spend money on a plumber, or ringing the council to have your shitter unblocked. Simply tie a plastic carrier bag around the head of a mop and ram it down your shitter a couple of times. It really does work....NO SHIT.

Thank fuck you cleared that one up mate, you'd be seriously liable if mowgli ended up with a mop jammed up his arse :lol:
 

mowgli

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Thank fuck you cleared that one up mate, you'd be seriously liable if mowgli ended up with a mop jammed up his arse :lol:
:lol::lol:
I pushed a sink plunger up and down below the water it worked a treat. :woo:
 

Spirederman

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I'm genuinely a pretty consistent type 1, but still thoroughly wipe. Can drop as low as it goes though depending on what I've eaten.
 

Megaclyde

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I'm genuinely a pretty consistent type 1, but still thoroughly wipe. Can drop as low as it goes though depending on what I've eaten.

I envy you mate,
Bar the occasional blue moon where I get a 1 and feel so joyous I practically make a note for my memoirs, i'm usually 3 at the best of times but normally 5 or 6
 

Stevencc

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I don't think I've done a type one in my life.
 

mowgli

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the last time i had a 1 think i was still at school, certainly not since i took up alcohol. :(
 
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Kebab with chili sauce resulted in a quite prolonged number 6 (I was on the loo for 40 fucking minutes pretty much non-stop shitting), lost count of how many bloody wipes mind you. Fucking burnt the ringpiece though, I'll say that much.
 

Ebeneezer Goode

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Kebab with chili sauce resulted in a quite prolonged number 6 (I was on the loo for 40 fucking minutes pretty much non-stop shitting), lost count of how many bloody wipes mind you. Fucking burnt the ringpiece though, I'll say that much.

Seek medical attention.
 

Blitzballer

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Had a number 4 earlier but it was a sticky consistency, also stung. Had a beef stirfry last night and left the seeds in the chilli's
 

Spirederman

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Spirederman

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It's before my time but I did read it. who knew people stood?
Yeah, absolute f'kin weirdos.

Always thought you were here from the start (TFF migration)

Were you not on TFF??
 

Cheese & Biscuits

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Yeah, absolute f'kin weirdos.

Always thought you were here from the start (TFF migration)

Were you not on TFF??
I was but I didn't really use the General Chat at first. I only saw it once it'd been archived I think.
 
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