- Jul 30, 2019
- Reaction score
Here's how it's all going to go down:
Exeter 3 - 1 Scunthorpe. The Grecians go 2 up early doors only for scunny to pull one back with 3 Exeter players receiving treatment as the ball goes in. Ref gives the home side a late penalty to make up for it.
Barrow 2 - 5 Walsall. Barrow go 2 up only to concede 5 in injury time (2 minutes added on).
Bradford 1 - 1 Newport. I legitimately couldn't thing of a single interesting thing to say about this game.
Cambridge 6 - 0 Bolton. Bolton are only able to field 2 players due to unprecedented injury levels. Mullin scores 5 whilst brandishing a tiny violin.
Cheltenham 2 - 0 Mansfield. Despite littering the playing surface with greased £20 notes and £2 coins, Mansfield are soundly beaten by a brutally effective Cheltenham outfit.
Colchester 2 - 1 Harrogate. Harrogate go one up with some stylish attacking play only to take their foot off the pedal, dunno why but I think Colchester might actually be quite good this year.
Grimsby 1 - 1 Carlise. Carlisle score in the dying minutes thanks to their 58 man squad.
Morecambe 2 - 0 Forest Green. Heading into half time 0-0, but thanks to Ebou Adams flinging himself to the ground every time the ball goes near him the ref adds on 18 minutes, Morecambe score twice during this period. Adams breaks both his legs trying out a new, experimental method of simulation in the second half and is red carded on the stretcher.
Oldham 0 - 1 Port Vale. Vale take a very, very unconvincing 3 points with a scrappy tap in following a controversial corner decision in the 87th minute. The forum topics next week include 'Vale '20 vs The Class of '92, how badly would United lose?', '18 more reasons why Cambridge were lucky to beat Vale last week', and 'The conclusive story of how Robbie Williams made Take That Stoke's favourite band'.
$alford 1 - 2 Crawley. At least I hope so. Scholes' half time team talk is so lacking in charisma that it actually demotivates the home team to capitulate in the second half.
Stevenage 1 - 2 Leyton Orient. Perennial overachievers Stevenage find themselves 1 up and their staff jubilantly invade the pitch following a 13th minute own goal, sparking scenes of wild debauchery not seen since Bolton drew against Barrow the other week. Orient miss 18 guilt-edge chances before sealing the win.
Tranmere 0 - 0 Southend. Ref calls the game off at halftime, citing 'professional embarrassment' as the reason. States, with conviction, that Bon Accord would have either team 8 - 0 is his post match interview.
Exeter did win 3 1.... So far I'm 100% correct... Poor Bolton...