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The Shiny New, All Purpose, Definitive 1FF List of Muggy Gobshites with help from Craig and Carel

spireite_uk

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16. Pagnell

Spending less time on the forum since 1998. Your one stop shop for intense and scintillating commentary on mobile phones, e-readers, Linux builds, the ideal arsenal of Kodi add-ons, exactly how much it's acceptable to spend on a well done stake [sic], bad science fiction, sensible family saloons, bicycle commutes, Oscar Pistorius and on and on and on and on.................


Banality elevated to the level of an artform. Recent attempts to appear a little more human only serve to highlight his staggering deficiencies in that regard. Proclivity for occasionally peppering his otherwise sublimely dreary missives with snatches of violent sexual imagery hint towards dark undercurrents behind his beige façade.


Fact: Work colleagues call him Gareth behind his back.

Ratio: 0.39 - also the number of occasions on which he has successfully brought his wife to orgasm.

Just spat my tea at my screen. Brilliant.
 
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MJA

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17. Bottega Don
Genuine fucking moron who embodies everything that's wrong with modern Britain. A muthafuckin G from the mean streets of south central Scunthorpe. He proves this by " spitting fire" to the other Saturday night saddos in the shoutbox.

"An irredeemable polyp on the arsehole of life."
" sad twat went on holiday once and spent every minute in the shoutbox which says it all"
" intolerable bellend"

Ratio- 0.45 I'd congratulate him on Twitter but y'know.
Nothing wrong with being a Saturday night shoutbox saddo Don [emoji38]

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Pagnell

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16. Pagnell

Spending less time on the forum since 1998. Your one stop shop for intense and scintillating commentary on mobile phones, e-readers, Linux builds, the ideal arsenal of Kodi add-ons, exactly how much it's acceptable to spend on a well done stake [sic], bad science fiction, sensible family saloons, bicycle commutes, Oscar Pistorius and on and on and on and on.................


Banality elevated to the level of an artform. Recent attempts to appear a little more human only serve to highlight his staggering deficiencies in that regard. Proclivity for occasionally peppering his otherwise sublimely dreary missives with snatches of violent sexual imagery hint towards dark undercurrents behind his beige façade.


Fact: Work colleagues call him Gareth behind his back.

Ratio: 0.39 - also the number of occasions on which he has successfully brought his wife to orgasm.

Fantastic work Carel. Apart from the Gareth bit. As they actually call me Nigel.

However, my position on this list does little more than highlight how much of a farce this whole endeavour is. Like fuck am I less of a c*** than I was last year.
 

Stevencc

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No comment on the violent sexual imagery part of the post, very interesting.
 
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Aber gas

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Fantastic work Carel. Apart from the Gareth bit. As they actually call me Nigel.

However, my position on this list does little more than highlight how much of a farce this whole endeavour is. Like fuck am I less of a c*** than I was last year.
You're still a massive c***. Just less relevant. I believe this situation was covered by Elton John and Tim Rice in their 1994 masterpiece Circle of Life.

Good day.
Hakuna Matata.
 

Pagnell

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Thanks for the clarification.
 
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T.A

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You're still a massive c***. Just less relevant. I believe this situation was covered by Elton John and Tim Rice in their 1994 masterpiece Circle of Life.

Good day.
Hakuna Matata.

Being relevant on an Internet forum is pretty pointless tbh.
 

Aber gas

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15 Martino Knockavelli
"Sigh"
Why does he even post? A creature not quite good enough for Twitter but too pretentious for Facebook. Reading his posts on anything is like being stabbed in the face with a thesaurus whilst being force fed limoncello.
" horrible c***"
" monumental twat"
" preaching on about "art" don't make you clever"
" trying to be clever c***"
Ratio- 1.16 not as good as Ian :dk:
 

Aber gas

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14 Abertawe
Hopeless Jack bastard with pretensions of intelligence. Militant forum arm of Meibon. Loves banging on about how green his c*** valley is despite not living in the post apocalyptic waste that is Wales.
" probably eats puppies"
" wish he'd fall in a canal and drown"
" hope he gets ecoli off that fucking chicken"
Ratio- 0.36 ok then
 

lordofthepies

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15 Martino Knockavelli
"Sigh"
Why does he even post? A creature not quite good enough for Twitter but too pretentious for Facebook. Reading his posts on anything is like being stabbed in the face with a thesaurus whilst being force fed limoncello.
" horrible c***"
" monumental twat"
" preaching on about "art" don't make you clever"
" trying to be clever c***"
Ratio- 1.16 not as good as Ian :dk:

He's just a good lordofthepies.
 

Pagnell

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Guesses on the top 3?
 

roversfan2001

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1. SERNWA
2. EvoRUFC

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Abertawe

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UTS will get it I reckon. SERNWA goes under the radar, PL posters won't see most of his posts.
 

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