The Joke thread

[Red]

Whether they're very hilarious, diabolically shit (and a lot will be), or somewhere in between, post your jokes here.

 

[Freakyteeth]

Lord Football.

 

[Stevencc]

A man was walking along the street when he slipped in a big pile of dog shit. A few moments later another man did the exact same thing. The first man said to him, "Heh, I just did that."

The second guy punched him in the face and called him a dirty, disgusting c***.

 

[Mustard]

You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water.

If it sinks? Girl ant.

If it floats? Boy ant.

 

[RavenBish]

I can re-post all my shit jokes again now without fear of people going back and finding them from 4 months earlier.

 

[JaseTheVillain]

This is where we need Pagnell...

 

[Christian Slater]

I made this one up.

What do you call a Jewish body builder that's in the aristocracy?

Muscle-Toff

 

[TomPNE94]

I can tell

 

[Hooray]

I thought I heard the ghost of Robin Gibb singing in my herb garden last night.

It wasn't him though. It was just the chives talking.

 

[Oaf]

I started up a new business a while back selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

 

[BlueBee]

Red it's a joke. As this thread suggests.

I'll delete it if you find it that inappropriate.

 

[Red]

It's not only inappropriate it contravenes the forum rules.

 

[BlueBee]

I've deleted it. I apologise.

 

[Saddlerrad]

No worries BB - a joke is a joke which is the tone you meant it in - however, can you please keep racism/homophobia/religious stuff off the forum. Cheers1

 

[Cardsfan]

Blue Bee's already done something stupid....

 

[Red]

I'll delete my quote of it too BB.

 

[BlueBee]

Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.

 

[Red]

Another offensive joke. How do you think that makes bikes feel?



I like that one BB

 

[Oaf]

I am a bike and I find that offensive.

 

[Red]

Ok, lets give BB a brake

 

[Skinner]

Come on Lee, stop being a bell

 

[Oaf]

These bike puns need to be retired.

 

[Stevencc]

These are all wheely shit.

 

[Skinner]

They're stabilizing the thread though

 

[Oaf]

You guys just won't stop peddling them out, wheel you?

 

[Stevencc]

This is a sickening chain of events.

 

[Skinner]

Think you need to get a grip

 

[Renegade]

You guys need to get your arse into gear.

 

[Skinner]

This is going downhill now

 

[Oaf]

This is just a vicious cycle of puns now.

(Can we rename this the bike pun thread and make a new joke thread?)