The Joke thread

[BlueBee]

Lads can we just Raleigh together and get this thread back to where it was.

 

[Oaf]

I just think that things have PERFORMANCE ENHANCING STEROIDS out of control.

Edit: Think that one needs work.

 

[mistermagic]

I just think that things have PERFORMANCE ENHANCING STEROIDS out of control.

Edit: Think that one needs work.

Oh good. You're here. Now we can resume this book thing.

 

[Oaf]

Oh good. You're here. Now we can resume this book thing.

I don't get it. What's that got to do with bikes?

(but seriously, great! Was hoping that wouldn't die with TFF...)

 

[Etty Abrics]

These are high caliper puns

 

[Red]

Derailleur have to keep up these bike jokes? Enough! I have spoke(n)

 

[Etty Abrics]

Oh good. You're here. Now we can resume this book thing.

I've got a good idea for your book thing, Dr Shimano.

Looks like I've just won the thread.

 

[Red]

I've got a good idea for your book thing, Dr Shimano.

Looks like I've just won the thread.

I'd say so

 

[Christian Slater]

Here's another one I made up.

What do you call a Nordic God child molester being fired out of a submarine?

Thorpeado

 

[Red]

Asking politely, is it at all possible you can stop making jokes up?

 

[Christian Slater]

No way, I love 'em.

 

[Etty Abrics]

We need Jarvis and Ste in here, the king and queen of bad punnery...

Lol PUNcture..

 

[Dolph Ziggler]

Red it's a joke. As this thread suggests.

I'll delete it if you find it that inappropriate.

You racist mother fucker.

 

[Dolph Ziggler]

Statistically, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape.

 

[Megaclyde]

Statistically, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape.

Golden oldie

 

[Pliny Harris]

"I developed bulimia in the back of my mate's car"

"Purge owt?"

"Nah, it was a Ford Mondeo"

 

[Whitechapel]

School teacher asks the class to do some homework. "Come back tomorrow and give me a sentence with the word contagious in it".

Next day Lucy says, "my brother had chicken pocks and it was contagious".

Paul says, "Foot and mouth was contagious for cows".

Harry says "my mummy asked daddy to paint the hall but it’s taking the contagious".

 

[Gilly?]

I wonder if this will be the year they finally find Madeline McCann.

.........................Said King William.

 

[This Charming Mike]

"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film"

"Gladiator?"

"No, I really miss her"

 

[LeoRahi]

I'm not too good at having relationships. I like sensible women. I was dating this one girl - we went to a nice restaurant, then she asked me back to her place for coffee. I thought "Yeah, I'm in there!" Then she says to me "You must know, I don't sleep with a guy until I've known him for 6 months."

I said "That's cool, that's very sensible of you. Just gimme a call in 6 months, yeah?"

 

[Pliny Harris]

"I helped my complex cell organism friend move into her new house the other day"

"Eukaryote?"

"Nah, she could manage on her own"

 

[silkyman]

My friend recently joined a social network in a village on the south coast of England near Chichester.

East Wittering?

No. Facebook.

 

[Pliny Harris]

My friend recently joined a social network in a village on the south coast of England near Chichester.

East Wittering?

No. Facebook.

Alright, you win this round.

 

[TomPNE94]

"My wife's gone on holiday to Northern Italy."

"Genoa?"

"Well yes, we've been married 20 years!"

 

[Pliny Harris]

"I'm going on holiday to the Caribbean with Winnie the Pooh"

"Antigua?"

"Nah, he's doing the housesitting"

 

[Hooray]

These are fucking terrible

 

[silkyman]

"I'm going on holiday to the Caribbean with Winnie the Pooh"

"Antigua?"

"Nah, he's doing the housesitting"

Touché!

 

[silkyman]

I asked a Frenchman if he could tell me the name of the Nintendo console with motion detection..

He said Oui.

 

[Gilly?]

So, after 44 years, The Sun has decided to do away with page 3. And presumably page 4, since it's on the other side.

 

[silkyman]

I was giving a talk to a room of English, French, Spanish and German people, and a group of four were behind a pillar. I shouted over to check the presentation was visible.

Yes
Oui
Si
Ja

So that was ok