You are currently browsing the football forums as a guest. Sign up now for free and benefit from totally ad-free browsing. Logged in members see no ads.

Stickied The Mental Health Thread.

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
I thought I would start a thread to discuss mental health issues. I have seen mental health being discussed on other threads and thought it might be helpful to have a dedicated thread. I can completely understand why people wouldn't want to post their experiences here but I think it is important to talk about these issues.
personally this subject has a relevance for me, I've just completed 6 months free from psych drugs for the first time in over 20 years.
I'm going to use therapy and learned coping techniques to see if I can live my life free from prescriptions.
Anyway I hope this can be an interesting and helpful thread.
 

sl1k

the one
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
1,182
Reaction score
648
Points
113
Location
.
Supports
.
good thread aber, bit smashed right now but will add soon :bg1:
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
Been dealing with a combination of anxiety and depression for about 8 years now. Depression has gone thankfully and the anxiety is under control for the biggest part but still have the odd day where it rears it's ugly head. Unfortunately for me at the moment my 8 year old is going through some major MH issues and we're getting no help whatsoever for him due to the bollocks systems in place. So as i'm spending all my energy keeping him under control i'm neglecting my own MH.
 

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
Been dealing with a combination of anxiety and depression for about 8 years now. Depression has gone thankfully and the anxiety is under control for the biggest part but still have the odd day where it rears it's ugly head. Unfortunately for me at the moment my 8 year old is going through some major MH issues and we're getting no help whatsoever for him due to the bollocks systems in place. So as i'm spending all my energy keeping him under control i'm neglecting my own MH.
Are you using any medication baz? I've stopped all mine, anti depressants, sedatives the lot. It's going ok at the moment but tbh I'm fucking terrified that it's all going to come crashing down. In regards to your son MIND are an amazing group who might be able to help or at least advise where you can find better help. I'll try and post a link later. Good luck mate and stay well.
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
Are you using any medication baz? I've stopped all mine, anti depressants, sedatives the lot. It's going ok at the moment but tbh I'm fucking terrified that it's all going to come crashing down. In regards to your son MIND are an amazing group who might be able to help or at least advise where you can find better help. I'll try and post a link later. Good luck mate and stay well.

Not on medication anymore. Was on anti-depressants for a good 18 months or so and did take diazipam briefly. I have contacted MIND myself to ask them for support with the boy but not overally sure if they'll be able to. I used MIND myself when I first got diagnosed so know the brilliant work they do.

The system in place for children with issues is a stupid one. We fought for 2 years just to get the boy referred to First Access. The first access person has said he needs referring to CAHMS as she can't do anything more for him and he needs that expert support/diagnosis or whatever it is, however CAHMS won't accept a referral for a child unless there's supporting evidence from such things like an Educational Psychologist, a SENCO/School report oh and parents going on parenting courses.
 

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
Not on medication anymore. Was on anti-depressants for a good 18 months or so and did take diazipam briefly. I have contacted MIND myself to ask them for support with the boy but not overally sure if they'll be able to. I used MIND myself when I first got diagnosed so know the brilliant work they do.

The system in place for children with issues is a stupid one. We fought for 2 years just to get the boy referred to First Access. The first access person has said he needs referring to CAHMS as she can't do anything more for him and he needs that expert support/diagnosis or whatever it is, however CAHMS won't accept a referral for a child unless there's supporting evidence from such things like an Educational Psychologist, a SENCO/School report oh and parents going on parenting courses.
That's a lot of hoops to jump through especially the parenting classes ( how fucking patronising) . All I can suggest is that you keep prodding and making a nuisance of yourself although you probably already doing that.
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
That's a lot of hoops to jump through especially the parenting classes ( how fucking patronising) . All I can suggest is that you keep prodding and making a nuisance of yourself although you probably already doing that.

Too bloody right. Even through contacts who work with families in similar situations are telling me just keep on at the school it's the only way to get anywhere. It's a long and annoying process but we just got to keep at it. As parents we don't even want medication for the boy we just want to know what the issues are and how we can deal with them.
 

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
Bollocks to my shit advice, I've just spoken to my wife who knows about child mental health( should have done that first). Her suggestion was to bypass First access and go directly to his teacher or the teacher that coordinates pastoral care so they can liaise with CAHMs. Also find a gp if yours isn't prepared to help that is willing to liaise with the school. It might not be enough to get the full help your son needs but will at least make the school aware and if necessary create " safe" spaces if he needs them. Hope this is more helpful.
Just seen your post and it sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing.
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
Bollocks to my shit advice, I've just spoken to my wife who knows about child mental health( should have done that first). Her suggestion was to bypass First access and go directly to his teacher or the teacher that coordinates pastoral care so they can liaise with CAHMs. Also find a gp if yours isn't prepared to help that is willing to liaise with the school. It might not be enough to get the full help your son needs but will at least make the school aware and if necessary create " safe" spaces if he needs them. Hope this is more helpful.
Just seen your post and it sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing.

The school currently have shockingly bad communication skills. I had to revert to writing a strongly worded letter just to get an initial meeting with the headmaster after a verbal request was totally ignored. They have put in loose measures for him at the moment but it's not working as there's another child in his class that also requires support and he just kicks off when he isn't getting it.

The head has told me that he doesn't see the need in an Ed psych report as his work isn't effected by his behaviour etc and they only look at that. I was speechless when he said that to me. We aren't giving up and the first access worker is brilliant in supporting us it's just a slog to get anywhere as nobody sees what he's really like as he seems to spend so much time and effort behaving in school we get the brunt of it when he comes home.

Luckily his teacher is starting to notice all the signs too and is writing her own report as she recognises he needs extra support and help it's just getting everyone to pull in the same direction when they're being stubborn mules.

We've also been given contact details for SNAP Cymru too so hopefully they'll be some source of help for us too.
 

Red

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
1,111
Points
113
Location
Chesterfield
Supports
Opposing the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre!!!!
Good thread Aber and well done on your 6 months off the drugs.

I've had mild depression in the past, but it was just mild and also transitory. I tend to get it when I've been unemployed for several months.
 

T.A

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,748
Reaction score
1,594
Points
113
Supports
Berry
I hear anxiety a lot, I always see it as a broad range where it can be coped with easily or needing medication. Would anyone like to explain their feeling of anxiety?
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
I hear anxiety a lot, I always see it as a broad range where it can be coped with easily or needing medication. Would anyone like to explain their feeling of anxiety?

Everyone is different. For me personally I get the sense of wanting to be in my comfort zone and if i'm pushed out of it I feel like something will go wrong. Physical symptoms wise when I get anxious/panicky I get the tingling sensations, heightened awareness and sometimes a full blown panic attack.
 

mowgli

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
5,266
Reaction score
1,626
Points
113
Location
Wells, Somerset
Supports
Wycombe Wanderers
Everyone is different. For me personally I get the sense of wanting to be in my comfort zone and if i'm pushed out of it I feel like something will go wrong. Physical symptoms wise when I get anxious/panicky I get the tingling sensations, heightened awareness and sometimes a full blown panic attack.
You describe how i feel perfectly,don't get it so much now thanks to my GP. A panic attack is scary especially if i'm out somewhere,when i have one at home i go to bed as it feels safe.
 

Baz

Active Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
781
Reaction score
147
Points
43
Location
Pontypool
Supports
Newport County
Twitter
@mrnebarry
You describe how i feel perfectly,don't get it so much now thanks to my GP. A panic attack is scary especially if i'm out somewhere,when i have one at home i go to bed as it feels safe.

The problem with panic attacks is until you know what it is, it takes over your life as you avoid situations where you had panic attacks previously. I'm glad yours are under control via whatever method you find works for you. I got to the stage where I embraced the panic attacks as I knew full well what it was and it was only a panic attack and if I let it get out of my system all would be well. Afterall it's a natural thing for our body to do when it's fight or flight.

Luckily my wife is a massive support so when I have those down days she keeps me going. I also have a few online contacts, which I now class as friends, who've been through similar and I can chat to them about anything without being judged. I do find having people in a similar situation as yourself, just like many people who'll contribute to this thread, helps massively as we've all been there and we all know writing things down/talking does help things.

What I would urge though is that anyone who may have mental health issues that hasn't looked for help, please do something about it. Yes it's scary to admit something is wrong, yes it's worrying that you don't understand the symptoms but it does get better.
 

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
When I was a younger anxiety attacks used to manifest themselves through aggression. Especially social situations, if I lost track of conversations or started to feel uncomfortable I'd try and withdraw but if I was stopped even in a friendly way I'd lash out. I didn't have a full understanding of what was happening to me so I couldn't explain to others. This caused untold grief at school and led to me being medicated originally ( wrongly imo) . Anxiety attacks still occur but I understand them now and can cope with them better( fingers crossed)
 

Dazza

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
1,490
Reaction score
265
Points
83
Location
Ascot
Supports
Reading
Suffered with depression a few years back. Was put on Citalopram and had counselling. Happened after i was made redundant and lost my house. Lost count of the amount of times i was told by mates to just "man up and to just get on with things"

Had a mate who who had severe depression and would slash his wrists and tried to take his own life. Had another mate with depression who tried to jump in front of a train.
 
M

Martino Knockavelli

Guest
such a clearly clever and interesting bloke

2rdd9.gif
 

Techno Natch

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
1,791
Reaction score
861
Points
113
Supports
Bristol City
Good thread Aber.

I think this thread shows just how many people struggle with mental health but its still not something that is openly talked about or understood by the general public. I think we're making small steps of progress but we're still a long way off of where we should be.

I've been lucky enough to never suffer serious mental health problems. Before I met her my girlfriend had serious problems with Anxiety and OCD that were most likely brought about by one of her ex's who manipulated and emotionally abused her. Eventually she broke free and sought help. it's much more manageable these days through coping mechanisms and although I reckon it affects her more often than she admits it doesn't affect her daily life.

I can only echo what others have said and ask people to get help if they feel like they are suffering. You're not alone. It might even be worth putting some links in the original post showing who can contact Aber to seek help and advice. I think the footballers blog on here shows that forums can be a useful outlet for people to speak without fear.

I'm currently working with Learning Disabilities and some people with mental health needs but from next year I'll be moving more towards mental health and personality disorders which should be interesting.
 

Aber gas

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
5,462
Reaction score
3,973
Points
113
Location
Abergavenny
Supports
Bristol rovers
Good thread Aber.

I think this thread shows just how many people struggle with mental health but its still not something that is openly talked about or understood by the general public. I think we're making small steps of progress but we're still a long way off of where we should be.

I've been lucky enough to never suffer serious mental health problems. Before I met her my girlfriend had serious problems with Anxiety and OCD that were most likely brought about by one of her ex's who manipulated and emotionally abused her. Eventually she broke free and sought help. it's much more manageable these days through coping mechanisms and although I reckon it affects her more often than she admits it doesn't affect her daily life.

I can only echo what others have said and ask people to get help if they feel like they are suffering. You're not alone. It might even be worth putting some links in the original post showing who can contact Aber to seek help and advice. I think the footballers blog on here shows that forums can be a useful outlet for people to speak without fear.

I'm currently working with Learning Disabilities and some people with mental health needs but from next year I'll be moving more towards mental health and personality disorders which should be interesting.
I'll have a look at putting some links in. I'm not very confident with that sort of thing so I will have a go but apologies in advance if they don't work.
I've just tried to link the MIND home page and it's not worked. techno will you have a crack.
 
Last edited:
D

Dr Mantis Toboggan

Guest
people don't really understand how debilitating mental illness can be. people often throw around words like 'ocd' when they have a slight habit like, having to put the mouse-mat in the right place before starting work. they have no idea how life-limiting true ocd can be, when u spend hours of your day on trivialities. anxiety is another one people seem to misunderstand. it's good that folk have retaken (in a way) introversion. giving it a positive spin on things. it's more of an issue in the u.s. where extroversion is seen as a net positive so there has to be an active movement to promote alternatives. people confuse introversion, being shy and anxiety a great deal. it ain't that simple though. introversion is getting your energy from yourself. recharging on your own. being shy is finding it difficult meeting new people. social anxiety is so much worse, so much more debilitating. staring at a phone for an hour before plucking up the courage to just phone the fucking bank for example

people always say they have bouts of 'depression' after a loved one passes for example. grief is natural. feeling depressed is a natural part of life and the aging process. it doesn't compare to the constant, noxious influence of true clinical depression. people seem to think it's just a relentless sadness. when in reality it's equal parts boredom, fear, depression and the occasional misplaced bright spots. i remember when i first realised i had depression was at a pool game. had a really bad shot and laughed a bit, ended up almost laughing till i cried. only later realised it was cause it was the first time in like a week that something had stirred my emotions. i'd rather lose a limb than have to deal with mental illness, srsly. i'm not sure how much stigma there is in this country. i think a lot of it is actually imagined cause, hell, i find it hard enough discussing my personal mental health issues with friends and those that have had other issues. how can people truly understand another when something so easy for one is such an impossible task for another?

i feel like it offers a unique kind of horror in a way. a lot of us, even those on the agnostic spectrum. can separate our bodies and our souls, minds, spirits - whatever. we can see the vessel we are in and say that isn't us, our personalities are intrinsically separate beings. children of the enlightenment race, sex, gender etc. don't matter. mental health issues are scary because of that. if who u are and who u represent yourself as isn't who u feel u are, then u aren't really living are u? how do people know u, if u can't know yourself?
 

mistermagic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
3,989
Reaction score
635
Points
113
Supports
Stoke City (I don't make the rules, Epic73 does)
Twitter
@FinallyFifou
Always thought that the main difference between introversion and shyness was the fear. Introvert: doesn't mind silence and quiet but can speak his mind out if needed (a rarity given the personality); shyness: scared of speaking your mind out especially in front of strangers.
Maybe I'm way off though.

Don't have MH or anxiety but have the odd epileptic fit. I've been on medication for 6 years and it is some kind of panic attack. I have spasms when I have to rush doing something I'm not sure how to do or I know I want have time to do (like eating breakfast before taking the bus to the station).
It is well under control. I hope all you guys will be alright.
 

mowgli

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
5,266
Reaction score
1,626
Points
113
Location
Wells, Somerset
Supports
Wycombe Wanderers
I have to be honest I want to twat uneducated people who say things like that.
Same as that mate. A good friend of mine suffered with depression for 10 years,it finally got too much for him on Christmas day 2 years ago and he hung himself from the bannister at home. Buzz had people say to him thinks like "Pull yourself together" which upset him,how do they think comments like that will help? Ignorant fuckwits!
 

silkyman

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
4,099
Reaction score
1,068
Points
113
Supports
Macclesfield Town/Manchester City. It's complicated.
I have to be honest I want to twat uneducated people who say things like that.

So isn't it wonderful that International Men's Day - which is supposed to educate people about exactly this sort of thing - is treated as a joke.
 
D

Dr Mantis Toboggan

Guest
So isn't it wonderful that International Men's Day - which is supposed to educate people about exactly this sort of thing - is treated as a joke.
women suffer from mental health issues too i hear, maybe a mental health day would be fairer :whistle:
 

Forum statistics

Threads
15,581
Messages
1,014,976
Members
5,989
Latest member
Henotech
Top