Stickied The Mental Health Thread.

[silkyman]

That's on October 20th.

Men and women deal with it differently. No one tells women to 'man up'. It's one of the reasons why male suicides are so, so much higher than women's. Men are more likely to talk about problems that are seen to be more socially acceptable, so clearly the best message is, 'shut up, what about women, stop moaning'.

 

[Baz]

So isn't it wonderful that International Men's Day - which is supposed to educate people about exactly this sort of thing - is treated as a joke.

It's still taboo for men to have mental health issues. Sure you have the odd person speak out about it in the world of "celebrity" but still not enough is done to combat it. Just look at Clark Carlise, he walked out infront of a lorry yet where was the masses of public backing to get males mental health high on the things to get sorted?

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

that's also a cultural thing. same way we are far worse than america at dealing with cancer, british people are a lot more likely to put off seeing someone for a physical medical issue as well as a mental one. not wanting to waste the doctor's time. too polite

 

[Aber gas]

Women's mental health issues are just as taboo as men's. Just look at the stigma attached to post natal depression or " baby blues" . I agree with Ian about there being cultural issues regarding mental health. The social stigma attached to mental health is still prevalent which stops so many people talking about it. It also doesn't help that the institutions which offer help are in my own experience daunting and the procedures overly complicated and officious. This is especially true for younger people, the hospital that I was sent at 17 was not fit for adolescents and I was fucking terrified and lonely. This was 20 years ago but from the anecdotal information I've heard nothing much has changed.

 

[silkyman]

When we were going through neo natal classes before my daughter was born, they were very open about post natal depression, and it was also a regular topic when the health visitor came around. It is taboo in the wider population, but my experience from actually being (partly) involved in a birth, was that they are reasonably proactive in keeping an eye on you.

 

[Aber gas]

When we were going through neo natal classes before my daughter was born, they were very open about post natal depression, and it was also a regular topic when the health visitor came around. It is taboo in the wider population, but my experience from actually being (partly) involved in a birth, was that they are reasonably proactive in keeping an eye on you.

I think the level of care varies. My wife was left pretty much with no support after our first daughter was born but there was a bit more after our second. I was mainly referring to the wider population though, the shock, disgust and general ignorance shown towards post natal depression shames our society. " what ? You don't love your baby?" Attitudes are still prevalent.

 

[HertsWolf]

I think we are simply losing the art of compassion. Part of the problem is that it can be difficult to 'synchronise' with others, in terms of empathy, sympathy and even basic support. My partner often wants to talk about big issues at work at night, after we've turned the lights out, and I'm like "This is when we go to sleep". Took me a while to appreciate what a shit I was being. (Oh I soooo want to say that I've adapted by going to sleep 15 minutes earlier now, but I won't).
So being prepared to deal with the sombre, difficult, troublesome stuff needs to be done at a time that may not be convenient for you individually. Vicars have to do this. They may need to console a family after a tragic death, hours after attending their child's first sports day or after graduation. It sounds easy to say "That's their job, they should know how to switch 'moods'". They can and do (as do nurses, doctors, police, teachers..) but for many of us, we are not used to having to empathise at a moment's notice.

Last year, I remember a lad committing suicide by jumping from the top floor of a multi-storey car-park in Telford. Some passers-by were shouting at him to jump. When he did, they walked off. Many months later, I still can't even begin to understand what goes through a person's mind to think things like that, let alone shout it out loud.

What has gone wrong in society that we have become so callous and uncaring?

 

[Techno Natch]

I read the other day that more women attempt suicide than men but fail more often in their attempt. Will try to find the link when I can.

 

[Baz]

I read the other day that more women attempt suicide than men but fail more often in their attempt. Will try to find the link when I can.

Then you look at this years Samaritan report and it paints a completely different picture.

http://www.samaritans.org/sites/def...h-96/files/Suicide_statistics_report_2015.pdf

 

[mowgli]

Iain Duncan-Smith and The DWP treat people who are severely depressed appallingly forcing to look for work when their GP says in a statement that they are unfit to work,how many have committed suicide after being found fit to work? As HertsWolf says society has lost it's compassion for those who need our help led by this heartless government who don't believe anyone suffers depression and stress.

 

[silkyman]

I read the other day that more women attempt suicide than men but fail more often in their attempt. Will try to find the link when I can.

Without wanting to sound flippant because I'm no expert, but I remember hearing about that and the reason being that women are more likely to go down the 'cry for help' route while men are more efficient (for want of a better word) and just do it.

 

[Dr Mantis Toboggan]

yeah men tend to go for quite violent suicides. u shoot yourself in the head that's it. u take lots of pills u have more time to realise you've made a mistake

 

[Techno Natch]

Without wanting to sound flippant because I'm no expert, but I remember hearing about that and the reason being that women are more likely to go down the 'cry for help' route while men are more efficient (for want of a better word) and just do it.

Yeah that's what I wondered too as I was pretty surprised when I read it as I always believed the opposite. Although it
could simply be that men will tend to go for the more violent method.

 

[TheMinsterman]

Based purely off of caring for my mother, she always took overdoses to essentially try and force the mental health services to actually do something to help her, which doesn't say much for the services available that she had to go to those lengths. I'm not for one suggestion all women do this by any stretch, but that "idea" doesn't seem too far off the mark to me on a personal level.

 

[TheMinsterman]

As far as myself goes, I essentially developed bad OCD after a illness which basically drippled my confidence in my body. When people think of OCD they think of things like shutting doors three times, but mostly it's the intrusive thoughts about horrible things that people get with it, effectively unable to stop thinking about them. It can be about all sorts, none of it particularly pleasant which makes it VERY difficult to want to talk to somebody about it despite knowing precisely what it is and why it happens.

General attitudes are really not that good I found, when I literally am so mentally drained and exhausted from severe stress I just get complained at to "do this" or "do that", people don't understand that sometimes you just can't do anything. The lack of emotion is VERY hard to process too, imagine feeling NOTHING regardless of the topic or event at hand. For example, I literally felt nothing when I watched the news about Paris, despite being quite aware of my own feelings of condemnation of what happened from a moral standpoint, it makes you feel like a monster when the reality is... your brain has just shut off emotional processes, but how do you explain that to somebody whose never gone through it? They think you don't care, when the reality is you simply CAN'T care because your mind won't let you feel it.

They just don't understand what its like to do things you love and get no joy, to be faced with something upsetting and just feel nothing. It is so weird.

 

[Baz]

I'm glad that so many of you are happy to open up about your situations. Something that ramps up my anxiety ten fold is being ill, even a silly little thing like a headache makes my anxiety ten times worse haha.

 

[TheMinsterman]

I can relate to that, due to getting so ill I lost total trust in my body, now I constantly monitor symptoms so you can imagine if I get ill it's not only awful cos I am ill but it's enhanced 100% by me worrying about it constantly and not getting any rest!

 

[Baz]

I can relate to that, due to getting so ill I lost total trust in my body, now I constantly monitor symptoms so you can imagine if I get ill it's not only awful cos I am ill but it's enhanced 100% by me worrying about it constantly and not getting any rest!

Agreed. Luckily i'm rarely ill so it doesn't effect me too much, but for someone with Health Anxiety it's got to be terrible thinking the simplest of things like a headache could be much worse.

 

[Dazza]

Agreed. Luckily i'm rarely ill so it doesn't effect me too much, but for someone with Health Anxiety it's got to be terrible thinking the simplest of things like a headache could be much worse.

I used to be like that. Everytime i got ill i would google the symptoms and of course that shows you the worst possible things it can be.

 

[Baz]

I used to be like that. Everytime i got ill i would google the symptoms and of course that shows you the worst possible things it can be.

Google is great for so many things but when you search for symptoms when you're ill it'll always come up with you're dying, when in reality you have a cold.

 

[sl1k]

I've probably been dealing with an interdependent web of problems since I was young, but never quite faced it until my adult years which is pretty recently tbf as I'm turnig 26 this month.

My mum suffers from chronic depression and panic attacks, while my dad truly got on top of his alcoholism and depression about 3 years ago. Without delving too much into my childhood, I was pretty much always looking for an escape from reality which later on in my teens manifested into regularly drinking and smoking weed. There was certainly more days in a week I was heavily intoxicated than not from the age of about 15 to 23, though I was what you'd call a 'functioning addict' as I got through my day to day stuff without a hiccup. Started using cocaine at 17-18, regularly snorted from 18-21 and then had a couple years of a getting to grips period cos my general health started to deteriorate. (shocker)

At 23 is when I began to have consecutive sober days and that's when all the things that I hadn't quite dealt with from my youth began to flood in and hit me. All the things I never faced or gave enough attention to throughout the latter years came back to suffocate me. It was a towering guilt. I essentially turned myself into a punching bag and beat the shit outa myself for a full year. It was during this period everything the booze and drugs covered up exposed themselves. Mentally, I became trapped in this tiny box that I had absolutely no clue how to get out of.

To further describe this period, I'll just quote what I posted in the "How football ruined my life" thread.

From my experience, identity is one of the more uncomfortable things to deal with particularly if you've already other sources of anxiety. It's a stability, a foundation, a certainty and helps you feel you've a degree of control/grip on things. In my case, I completely withdrew from close family/friend relationships and became increasingly introverted in my thinking essentially making everything worse. I internalised my whole world (further isolating myself by interacting alot less) and had phases where I found it practically impossible to live in the moment, my mind wondering off at times chaotically where I'd struggle to track or keep track my train of thought. It made me feel dumb, incredibly insecure and vulnerable as fuck. My mind was usually my source of strength, the way I processed and digested reality. With that utterly buggered, it made things fucking hard to say the least. Started sleeping more, some days not wanting to get out of bed just cos I didn't want to come to the realisation of yet another problem or weakness. Couldn't see positivity if it slapped me in the face and on the occasions I did, the stimulation or emotional 'high' was very short lived as the empthasis shifts back to glass half empty mode.

At the time, I felt like the person I always thought myself to be was a lie and it shattered me. That feeling of not knowing who I was, who I am to be, what my ultimate dream and aspirations should be. I was lost.

It sounds stupid but I was always too proud to open up or seek help. I began to research psychology, reading loads of self help/knowledge stuff and slowly began to 'build' up my mind again. My faith and prayer helped massively too, which shocked my family as I hadn't even touched a Quran since I first completed it as a kid.

 

[Stagat]

I hadn't even touched a Quran since I first completed it as a kid.

You got any swaps, mate? I can't find a Mohammed shiny anywhere.

 

[sl1k]

You got any swaps, mate? I can't find a Mohammed shiny anywhere.

Oh mate they became like ultra rare after all that 'don't draw big mo' malarkey went on. A reputable sheikh deemed it acceptable to just draw a smiley face on it instead, God would be cool with it apparently. I know it sucks innit.

 

[Baz]

Not sure if a local hospital is the best place to have a panic attack or the worst haha. Had one earlier whilst the mrs was having an endoscopy.

 

[TheMinsterman]

The word endoscopy makes me anxious. The single most unpleasant medical treatment I ever underwent. Hope you're feeling better now Baz.

 

[mnb089mnb]

I had an endoscopy once. They gave me drugs and I have no recollection of the procedure. Though I do remember remembering the procedure.

Say No To Drugs.

 

[Baz]

The word endoscopy makes me anxious. The single most unpleasant medical treatment I ever underwent. Hope you're feeling better now Baz.

It wasn't for me it was for the wife. She has coealiacs but her GP sent her for an endoscopy to see how bad things are. She decided to go with just the throat spray, in hindsight she should have gone for the sedation haha.

 

[TheMinsterman]

It wasn't for me it was for the wife. She has coealiacs but her GP sent her for an endoscopy to see how bad things are. She decided to go with just the throat spray, in hindsight she should have gone for the sedation haha.

I did the throat spray, it tasted like a dead banana and then I got throat violated.

Say Yes To Drugs.

 

[blade1889]

apparently love to push the spray as its a lot cheaper. Never known anyone not want the drugs afterwards. Just as an FYI for anyone unfortunate enough to need an endoscopy in the future.

 

[mowgli]

The word endoscopy makes me anxious. The single most unpleasant medical treatment I ever underwent. Hope you're feeling better now Baz.

Try having a camera up your arse mate now that felt unusual and bloody painful Had it last year as my GP was worried i might have had bowel cancer but was given the all clear