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RefWatch; Ref for Scunthorpe game (P4 W2 D2) is dreamy Dean Whitestone, 42, from Northampton. Works for the filth out of Kentish Town nick in North London, where he tortures the dreadful local hipster population to death with his massive truncheon. FL ref since 2006, and is definitely one of the...

RefWatch; Ref for the Trotters game (played them 5 times at home (W2, L2, D1, last time we played them Bob the motherfucking Builder was No1) is Womble favourite and spiky peroxide-haired son of a hedgehog fingerer Gavin 'ThunderCunt' Ward, 46, from Sheppey. Clever boy - works as a Senior...

RefWatch; Ref for Saddlers game (played them 6 times at Fellows Park & Bescot Stadium since '81, and lost every one) is Charles Breakespear, 34, a curvy kitchen salesman from Surrey. FL ref since '13 & has the reputation of being extremely picky and fussy. Quite a delicate looking flower, all...

Well, this thread has been much tamer than expected, only BCS has made any real effort, maybe we have to wait till they buy Lyle Taylor from us to really get going. I liked Sk8mk's response though, and I think most of us have got into football by going to games with our dads, so it's hard to...

The word 'fairytale' has been used a lot this week, and it surely felt like one after the euphoria of Wembley on Monday. Over the last 14 years there were many times when it didn't, though, and as I walked away from Wembley my thoughts went back to walking to Leyton (not Orient, but the Waltham...

Farewell then, L2. I must say our playoff final reminded me of my sex life; the first hour spent wondering if it's started, followed by half an hour of mild terror, followed by 30 seconds of relief, hugs from strange men, some tears & then a long train journey home. Best of luck to you all next...

RefWatch; Ref for Millwall v Barnsley is Stuart Attwell, 33, from Nuneaton. Was youngest ever Prem ref at age of 25 in '08, but was demoted in '12 after some high profile disasters (including Readings 'Phantom Goal') & mainly does Championship & L1 games these days. Consensus is that he loses...

RefWatch; Ref for Wombles v Plymouth is Iain Williamson, 45, from Thatcham in Berkshire. FL ref since 2002. Works as a sales director for Computershare in Bristol. In 35 games this season (11 Champ, 7 L1, 11 L2 & 6 Cup) he has given 132Y & 6R - high, and almost double the totals of the two refs...

RefWatch; Ref for the second leg is Eddie Ilderton, 46, from Newcastle. FL ref since 2002 & works as a cop in Nottingham. Consensus is that he's laid back, good at communicating with players and reads the game well, which is why we very rarely see him in L2. God, we really do get pawned off with...

RefWatch; Ref for the first Accy game in our magnificent bid for freedom from L2 is Stephen Martin, 32, an accounts manager from Staffordshire. FL ref since '12. Has the lowest card & foul count of any ref we've had this season; in 37 games he's given just 83 Y & 5 R, and went 6 games without...

17 years ago this week he scored that famous goal, https://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiljMjL58PMAhXrI8AKHbGPB3kQtwIILDAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4HLqMcm_SGw&usg=AFQjCNGPx4ZX56tBckkv3e-3_HHDcZzCeg, where does the time...

RefWatch; Ref for Newport game is Geoff Eltringham, 38, from County Durham. FL ref since 2009. Originally Deadman was listed, but it must have been a printing error, because our Sunderland loving chum is definitely doing it. What a horrible printing error - the worst since the time I glanced at...

RefWatch; Ref for Stevenage game is Charles Breakespear, 34, from Surrey. FL ref since '13. Has the reputation of being extremely picky - one of the fussiest refs around. Looks a bit like Rommel, and I'm sure if the Germans had him back in WW2 the Allies would have surrendered in a week and now...

RefWatch; Ref for Pompey game is Andy Madley, 33, from Yorkshire. FL ref since 2011. Teacher from Huddersfield, and says he enjoys organising day trips for the kids to the local zoo. Sounds thrilling Andy, and I'm sure if dear old League 2 were a zoo, us Wombles would be the insane monkey...

RefWatch; Ref for O's game is Graham Salisbury, 53, from Lancashire. FL ref since 2001. Reffed Wombles once, the 1-0 away win at Scunny in Nov '11. Reffed O's once too, the 1-0 away win v Pompey in Feb this year. Wonder if Beccetti will pick Our Sammy for this one, I used to really enjoy...

RefWatch; Ref for Daggers game is Andy Haines, 49, a project manager from Sunderland. FL ref since 2007. Reffed Wombles three times; the crazy 4-4 draw with Carlisle in '14, the 2-0 defeat to Shrews in '15 & the 1-1 draw with Cobblers this season. Reffed Doomed Daggers 3 times (W1-D0-L2). Hates...

RefWatch; Ref for Creepy is the magnificent Tim Robinson, from Sussex, who reffed us to victory in the 3-2 win over the scum in the Paint in Oct '14. Adores Wombles, reffed us 7 times & we've won 4, drew 2 & lost 1, most recently the 4-1 home win v Grecians in Dec '14. Reffed Creepy 3 times...

RefWatch; Ref for Wycombe v Wombles game is Brendan Malone, 48, the big fat postie from Wiltshire. Ref since '81 in lower leagues, FL ref for 6 years. Smug type, says his colleagues describe him as being 'a safe pair of hands'. So that's what the dirty bastards get up to in their little refs...

RefWatch; Ref for Pompey game is Andy Madley, 33, a teacher from Huddersfield. FL ref since '11. His brother Bob is a FL ref too, so their mum goes out every day with a bag over her head & quietly sobs herself to sleep at night. As well as teaching, himself & Bob train kids to be refs, so there...

RefWatch; Hauling his skinny ass to Kingsmeadow for the second time in a month is our Meadow's favourite ref, Darren Deadman. The original football hating card happy thundercunt, charmless Darren has given 144 Y & 20 R in his last 2 seasons, over twice the average. Hates Wombles, reffed us 8...